[closed]

[strangle]

Date & Time: 4/02, right after this thread
Location: Unit 401
Characters: Satero e Ankhar (strangle), Samhain October (samham), Vitali Yinza (last_man_standing)
Summary: SATERO VS ROOMMATES NUMBER 2 AND 3
Warnings: staero

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[ Satero stares at the bent and twisted metal numbers in his hand. Shit. What's he supposed to do with these now? Is that someone coming down the hall? Is that douchebag with the long hair going to finally come out of the room see what's going on? Shit.

Satero goes with instinct. Instinct tells him to put the evidence in his mouth.

Satero's instincts are not terribly intelligent. ]

Comments

[strangle]

[ Satero spots Vitali coming down the hall and is too distracted by his eye (or rather, the lack of it) to make any connections. It's only when he actually asks about the room that Satero remembers what he'd been doing.

He shakes his head furiously and gives Vitali the most deadpan look he can manage. Which is kinda hard, when he's got three bits of metal stuffed into his mouth.

Nope. Definitely not room 401. ]

[last_man_standing]

[Vitali looks at the door and then back at Satero. Why would he take the numbers off the door. It's really not that hard to figure out which room it is....and are those the numbers in his mouth?

He decides that maybe it's a good idea to leave the possibly crazy man alone and open the door himself (because he just remembered he has a key. He's a genius). Unfortunately,said possibly crazy man is in front of the door and is rather big.]

If you would move over some I could try the door. If you're right, the key won't work and I'll go away. So scoot.

[strangle]

[ All right, so Satero has -- once again -- discovered that metal is not edible. He ignores Vitali's question to turn around and not-so-discreetly spit the numbers out, stare at them again, and wipe them off on his jeans before dropping them into a pocket.

Oh, that reminds him. Keys! Right. He pulls out his own key and looks at Vitali, half-triumphant and half-puzzled. ]

Naw, I've got the fuckin' key for this door. Ain't yours. Sorry.

[last_man_standing]

[ Five bucks those numbers tasted bad. Vitali kind of almost hopes they did. Who puts stuff like that in their mouth anyway?!

Oh, great. Satero has a key too. There goes the vain hope that he was just some random man with a vendetta against numbers. Vitali pulls out his key and waves it back and forth a bit. ]

Yeah, I have a key too. Everybody gets one. It even has the room number on it. Now, will you please move over so I can open the door?

[strangle]

[ NOPE. Satero squints suspiciously at Vitali's key. Nope, that doesn't look like his key. Because his key is in his hand. That obviously means that Vitali's key is for some other door. ]

Doesn't look like the right key to me.... Go find your own door, man.

[last_man_standing]

[Vitali sighs. Why couldn't this have been easy? That would have been nice. Really nice. Whatever, he was getting into that room whether Satero liked it or not.]

I have found my door. It's right behind you. If you would be so kinds as to move...?

[strangle]

[ ALL RIGHT, FINE. THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY JUST STUPID.

Satero scowls, plants his feet apart, and crosses his arms. ]

Fuck no, I'm not lettin' you break into my fuckin' place! Fuck off.

[last_man_standing]

[ You know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?! This is dumb. Vitali hasn't wanted to punch someone this bad since....actually it doesn't matter. What does matter is that, if Satero doesn't let him through the door, he's gonna punch him. And it will be amazing.

Vitali steps closer to Satero and glares.]

No! You can move and let me in or I can do it for you.

[strangle]

[ You know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?! Satero doesn't understand what Vitali just said is what. SURPRISE.

He stares in stupid confusion for a while before snapping out of it and deciding to judge based on the tone of voice instead. That's always worked out pretty well for him. ]

You want some?

[ SOME OF WHAT, SATERO? Oh, right, better put up those fists too. ]

[last_man_standing]

Bring it!

[Okay so maybe Satero's kind of bigger than Vitali and can smoosh him... DOESN'T MATTER! Vitali's fist is going to meet Satero's face. He thinks they'll be good friends.

Vitali steps back a bit and slams his fist up into Satero's jaw. Hard.]

[strangle]

[ THEY WILL BE BEST FRIENDS.

Satero practically walks right into Vitali's fist -- he'd lunged at Vitali just a split-second before Vitali actually threw his punch, and the end result is a painful crack and Satero's teeth bloodying his own lip. Motherfucker.

He recovers quickly and throws himself right at Vitali, all three hundred pounds of him, shoulder-first. ]

[last_man_standing]

[ THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

Vitali's eyes go wide. Holy shit this man is huge. Punching him was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. WHY DID HE DO THAT?!

The derpy hamster on a wheel that is Vitali's brain kicks back in gear and Vitali tries to side step past Satero towards the door. Maybe he can get it open before the crazy man tosses him through it? He sure hopes so.]

[strangle]

[ MAYBE HE CAN. Satero's lunge was pretty uncontrolled and he goes right past Vitali, stumbling and leaving the door wide open.

But he regains balance and turns around pretty quick, practically screeching in his rage. And he makes another run at Vitali. BETTER MOVE QUICK, BUDDY. ]

[samham]

[ Guess what this is a good time for? THE DOOR TO FLY OPEN. And there's Samhain, standing tall and Goth and scowly. He takes in the scene in a glance (he'd been following the sounds of it already, anyway), then reaches out a hand to snag Vitali's collar and make to jerk him into the room. ]

Get in here. [ And to Satero: ] And you, stop. This is a roommate.

[last_man_standing]

[WHY HELLO NEW BEST FRIEND! Vitali loves you now.

Vitali stumbles through the door past Samhain and glances around a bit.... this room was not worth a fight with a scary, three hundred pound, shark toothed demon. Vitali want's his money back. He looks back at Samhain.]

Please tell me you're sane. You didn't seem crazy over the network.

[strangle]

[ Oh what's that? You guys wanted to have a nice, civil conversation? TOO BAD. 300 POUNDS OF SCREECHING SHARK MAN STILL RUNNING RIGHT ATCHA.

Obviously, Samhain's order goes completely unheeded. Roommates. Psshhhhh. ]

[samham]

[ Sorry to completely ignore you, Vitali, but do you know what this seems like a great time for? Slamming the door shut. And for good measure, throwing his weight against it.

He stare sullenly out over the living room as he braces against the door, with a look that says he would really rather be anywhere else at all right now. ]

More than him.

[last_man_standing]

[Okay so, chatting isn't really an option at the moment. Maybe something something bigger and heavier than Samhain should be in front of the door. Vitali certainly thinks so. He looks around the room again. Ah, that couch should do nicely.]

Do you think you can keep him out long enough for me to scoot this couch over to the door? ....Will that even keep him out?

GO AHEAD AND SKIP SATERO'S TAGS FOR A BIT i'll throw him back him later B)

[strangle]

[ Satero crashes headfirst into the door as Samhain slams it shut. He steps back, glowers, and then kicks it as hard as he can. But that doesn't bring the door down.

Motherfucker.

Satero shoves his hands into his pockets and considers the situation. Then, very quietly, he wanders off.... ]

SURE THING BRA

[samham]

[ And again, Vitali gets ignored. At first Samhain is just grimly braced, ready to keep his weight against the door... but resolve gives way to a tentative and prepared-to-be-disappointed curiosity, and he cocks his head as he listens.

Finally: ]

...I think he's gone.

[ Not that he's planning to open the door and check. Satero can just go frolic for a while and calm down. ]