exsiliumlogs | It doesn't make us strong. It doesn't make us weak.

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It doesn't make us strong. It doesn't make us weak.

Date & Time: 2010 (November 9 - 14, Moonbase time)
Location: Kauai, Hawaii
Characters: Jesse Pinkman & Skyler White
Summary: Two very fucked-up people need to get away from the man they married. There's no way this could end badly.
Warnings: Jesse Pinkman?

[It's not like he planned this. One minute he was with Mrs. White, just talking, and the next he was packing his bags - as hastily as possible, before a roommate could discover him and ask where he was going. He didn't want to be interrupted or talked out of this, and especially didn't want to be followed. It wasn't until he was at the door of the Transporter room that he sent out a text to his inner circle:

Going on a mission. Be back for Thanksgiving.
And that was it.

Jesse made a small fortune on the first day by selling one of his souvenirs from Russia, and he used that to pay for a luxury rental. It's been a couple days now of lounging around, doing nothing but enjoying the sun and the ocean, and he hasn't regretted this decision yet. Maybe it was a dick move to disappear without warning, but he needed this. Badly. And so did Skyler.

She was napping earlier so he went off for an afternoon surf by himself. Now that the sun's making its descent and it's almost time for dinner, he heads back to the house, dripping seawater all the way up the stairs and into the foyer.]

Hey, I'm back.

[Better not to surprise her, right?]

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[Part of her knows this is a bad idea. She rushed to get her bags packed as quickly as possible. If Steph came back, she would most certainly have something to say about it. And maybe it isn't smart, but she isn't thinking about it. She hasn't been able to breathe properly since Walt arrived, and the three days of zombies didn't help either.

She needs this getaway more than she can admit, and the only person who truly understands why is the person who offered it. So why not? Walt gets to have crazy ideas and go off on a whim and buy cars. Sky can go to Hawaii with the thought that there are no consequences.

Just a relaxing time.

And it has been. She goes out in the town in the morning, lets the sun hit her before she gets too hot. Then it's usually time to read a magazine and eat fresh fruit. She's sleeping here. She even looks good.

She's painted her nails even. It may be an escape, but she can almost feel like she's returning to herself here. Jesse takes care of everything. She doesn't have to think about anything. There's been enough food stocked, and she's even gone to buy some fresh produce for their done.

By the time he comes back, she's got fresh seafood going, some rice and beans on the stove, and a salad. Picking at a piece of cucumber, she smiles when she sees him come in.]

Have fun? [She looks him over, not saying a word about the water. Even if she wants to.]

[She doesn't really have to say anything. The second she looks him over, he's suddenly self-conscious and starts toweling himself off. That was probably rude, dripping all over the floor.]

Y-Yeah. Yeah, it was good. The waves're totally amazing here.

[God, she doesn't really want to hear about surfing, though. Now that he's mostly dry - except for his trunks - he drops the towel onto the tile to soak up the puddles he left with his footsteps.]

How'd you know I was starving? That smells delicious over there.

[She's smiling more at his enthusiasm than him wiping the floor, but that is kind of nice, too. When he talks about the food, she checks the one pot before glancing back at him.]

Well it is dinner time. I was hoping you'd come back for it. [And she really was. It's been a nice few days, and she likes having him around. He's slowly become her stability, here especially. Of course they go and do their own things, but she just feels more comfortable with him around.]

If you want to pull out some plates, the salad is made and the beans and rice are done. The fish will only be a minute or two longer.

[Well, he was going to go change... but if she doesn't mind him hanging around in nothing but wet shorts, then he doesn't mind, either. Wouldn't want the food to get cold while he leaves her waiting, right? He steps into the kitchen and obediently starts pulling stuff out of the cabinets to set the table.]

Shoulda got here a li'l sooner so you didn't have to do all the work yourself.

No, it's fine. [And she starts to pour the rice and beans into a bigger bowl and sets it on the table. She gives him a small smile. The view is not bad, Mr. Pinkman.

Until she's back at the stove.]

I like cooking for others. It's one of the nice things about being a mom. [Of course towards the end, nothing was really cooked any more.]

It's weird how I never used to do it back home, but nowadays it's like I'm always in the kitchen.

[Better to cook food than cook meth, he supposes, but he doesn't voice that. Now that the table's all neatly set, he takes his seat.]

I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

So I've seen. [On the network at least. Once the fish in plated, Sky sets it in the middle of the table before sitting down herself. Well this is definitely not at all like the last time they sat at a dinner table. And she is so glad for that.]

I won't say no to homemade food. Now dig in.

[No need to tell him twice. As long as he's not tweaking, Jesse still eats like a teenage boy: ravenously and quickly. He starts shoveling food into his mouth the moment he's given permission, and the mark of this being nothing like their shared meal last year is that he hardly stops for air, let alone to make small talk. He's comfortable.]

[She has a teenage boy, so she's quite used to it actually. Sky takes what she wants, and she lets the small talk go herself. They're both enjoying the food, and there isn't any real need to interrupt him anyway. She's more amused at how vigorously he eats. It really isn't that good.

When she's done, and they manage to say more than just how good the food is, she starts piling the dishes in the sink to clean.]

So did you go swimming all day? [She assumes that's why his shorts are wet.]

[Jesse helps her with the dishes. It's the least he can do, really. He follows her into the kitchen with plates and silverware in hand and leans up next to her to place them carefully into the sink.]

Surfing. And, yeah, I guess I did a lotta swimming, too. Every time I fell off.

[She doesn't mind the closeness. If it had been anyone else, she might have been much more stiff, still reacting to the last months of her life, but the time away from the moon and Walt and everything else has her much more at ease. Jesse sort of has that natural effect though.

His comment makes her laugh.]

That's exactly why I've yet to take you up on your offer. [Not that she hasn't forgotten it, although virtual reality isn't the same as this, she's sure.

She starts to take the pots and pans off the stove, quite pleased with dinner.]

Everybody falls sometimes. Just think about how awesome it'll be when you finally get it.

[He leans up against the counter beside the sink, resisting the urge to outright intercept her and those pots. He doesn't want to be too pushy.]

I could take care of these. You oughta unwind.

I have unwinded. [She turns to look back at him.]

More than I have in a long, long time. [But Sky has always been the kind of person to keep moving. It might have come from the lack of a steady job from before Walt got sick, but this isn't stress to her. This is just maintaining a house, and Lord knows, she can do that in her sleep when compared to laundering nearly $11 million.]

Edited 2013-11-15 13:21 (UTC)

Yeah?

[That brightens his smile.]

Good. All I want's for you to be happy. You deserve it.

[Okay, okay. She'll move to the side, her hip leaning on the counter.]

So do you, you know? [No one is coming out of this clean since everyone has blood on their hands to some extent. She just doesn't want to see him get the short end of the stick when this is all said and done.]

I don't know what's going to happen-- with Walt. But I'm on your side, and not just because that's what he already assumes. You've looked out for me for no reason. [She basically despised your existence back home.]

[And he knows it. But she had every reason to hate him. He enabled her husband in the first place, he's why her whole family was almost killed on multiple occasions, and there he was in her own home that one time, rubbing the whole business in her face. Even now, he's messing up her life and getting her in trouble.]

Not no reason. I owe it to you.

[She shakes her head, not really wanting to hear it.]

You don't, Jesse. This was Walt. I know that, and you should just-- try and let some of it go. [She's one to talk, she knows, but she looks back at him, frowning.]

You shouldn't blame yourself for everything.

[He nods even though he disagrees with what she's saying. Walt's guilty, too. Sure. But that doesn't really absolve Jesse of anything.

Anyway, he shouldn't have mentioned it. They don't need to be thinking about him here. Jesse leans in, giving her a persistent smile. No frowning allowed.]

It makes me happy, taking care of you. Maybe none of it's my fault, but I still wanna make it right. Whenever I get you to smile, I feel like... I feel like that's it. I'm doing something good.

But I guess all that really means is... I like you.

[Her head hangs a little in that way when someone's being sweet, and all a person can do is smile subtly and listen. She blinks and looks back at him, feeling that swell in her chest. Like she's worth something more than just a pawn in someone's game.]

I like you, too. I was all wrong about you, and I'm sorry for that. You are good, Jesse. [She puts a hand on his shoulder, touched by his words.]

We've all made mistakes, but being around you makes me feel... better again.

[A hand on his shoulder feels like a very different gesture when he isn't wearing clothes. It sends a wave of warmth through his body, and if the sun hadn't already reddened his cheeks, they'd be flushing now.

...She just called him good.]

Good. That's all I want.

[Forgetting the dishes, he leans into her touch, though he keeps his arms at his sides, hands steadying him against the counter. Would it be wrong to hold her? Would she be upset if he tried? This wasn't all some scheme. He doesn't want her to think that it was.]

[She smiles back, seeing him react like that. He likes her. It's nice. It's an ego boost. It's been awhile since she's felt that she's attractive. She has the same tint on her cheeks, and it's now that she realizes that he's definitely half naked.]

I still don't know why, but thank you. [She's heard him say he blames himself, but it still doesn't make sense for her.]

For all of this. I really needed it.

[Jesse exhales slowly. He needs to not fuck this up. Just behave for maybe once in his life. Think unsexy thoughts and definitely...

...don't...

...inch closer to her.

- No, but he can't help it, when she's saying all this stuff and looking at him like that. His fingers grip the counter tightly behind his back, as if he's handcuffed to it, and that's about as strong as his willpower gets. She's a lot taller than him, and it means that when he dips his head coyly, his cheek is almost resting on her shoulder.]

What else do you need? ...Skyler.

[He almost called her Mrs. White.]

[She's not sure when this turned into anything other than coping, but her eyes are intent on his, reading this, making sure this isn't just her want to be wanted in anyway. A person needs to feel that, that they're attractive, that they're sexy, that someone wants them. And maybe that's why it was so easy to fall into Ted Beneke's bed, because he was an escape, but Jesse is so firmly rooted in this. She doesn't want to take advantage of him either.

Her hand slides down his arm, feeling the muscles underneath. He has some build. He's younger, another reason to not take advantage of him, but God, just him shirtless nearly against her. She already wants this, and there's no real reason to say no (that she can immediately think of).]

This. [Her eyes look back at his, decisive.] If you do.

[It's not an implication. It's an offer. This way all card are laid out. If he wants her like she thinks he does, she's made her move.]

[He's just been waiting for permission. When she finally grants it, his hands leave the countertop to find her hips and he eases in to nuzzle her neck, brushing soft kisses there. Not too fast. She might change her mind, after all. But he's inviting her. She can have this. She can have whatever she wants.]

[The hand on his arm slips to his side and holds there, keeping herself close to him. There's an exhale when he leans in, and her neck rolls to the side to give him more room. For as much as part of her wants this quick, no time to reconsider, it already feels good. Her other arm wraps around the back of his head, pulling herself closer.]

[If she wants him to hurry, she'll have to tell him to hurry. Jesse's a romantic, and when he asks her what she needs, he means it. It's not about him. No one's going to catch them here, so he's going to take his damn time pleasing her.

He avoids kissing her lips. Women don't usually want that because it's something special they save for people they care about, not him. His mouth travels down her throat to trace her collarbone instead, while his hands slide to the small of her back and press her body flush against him. She might be the tallest woman he's been with. He kind of likes that. It makes him feel overpowered.]

[Honestly she's just taking this all in, each touch he gives her and each brush of his lips. She can feel even what little tension she had in her give way, and her fingers curl at the base of his neck. There's nothing telling her not to do this, and so she listens to her wants and her needs for once, fingers tracing into his scalp.

Her free hand drops to his hips, and she hasn't put it together why he isn't kissing her lips. What he's doing is good enough for right now, pulling her thoughts to his mouth and already how good this feels. Her free hand continues up and down his side before it slides up his back, just feeling him against her and how nice it is for someone to want her, to want to please her.]

[He likes that, being pet like that. It's so warm and reassuring. There aren't a lot of people who touch him that way. Jesse smiles against Skyler's breast before raising his chin, bringing his mouth to her ear:]

Table or bed?

[There are a lot of girls he's been with that he can prop up on his hips and lift onto a counter, but Skyler's a fucking woman and if anyone's getting swept onto any surfaces here, it's Jesse.]

[There's a look of mischief when he asks her, brows raising.]

Why not both? [They do have several more days here, and he's definitely young enough to have some stamina, she would bet.]

[If he had any meth with him, he could show her what real stamina looks like. But yeah, he's not so bad even when he's chemically deprived. He's still at an age when his appetite is insatiable. That's why he loves older women. They're usually matched in that.

He guides her back while she's still gripping his hips, a devilish little smile playing on his face. The table's already been cleared and it's right here. A good place to start a marathon.]

Anything you want, Mmm - Skyler.

[He almost called her Mrs. White again.]

[When her butt hits the table, she slides back and up onto the table. She can't help but smile as she leans into kiss his lips, claiming them this time. Sky wants him badly enough, and she has no reason to not. One hand slides up his back to pull him against her as she lays back on the table, getting comfortable.

There's a half chuckle at what they're doing, feeling the more playful side of her opening up. This is ridiculous. He's so much younger, but that is only a plus right now, given the amount of time they have together.]

[He's surprised when she catches his lips, faltering for a split second before opening up to her. An electric warmth spreads through his body when she kisses him. It's like she cares about him. Which is good, because he cares about her. He kisses with a neediness that isn't greedy, but desperate. It betrays him.

The rest of him, however, doesn't lose focus. He pulls her thighs up around his waist as he lowers her onto the table, bending over her as he helps to gently lay her back. When she laughs, he does too, muffled against her lips. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's fun. That's the point.]

[It is fun, and that's something that she's only starting to get back. Not to mention the sexual playfulness which hasn't been around for ages, not entirely Walt's fault, but the last two years certainly haven't helped. She hums against his lips, opening his mouth up before her hands slide down his sides to keep him close to her. Her legs stay around him, keeping her hips pressed to his now.]

[He moans into her mouth, a soft sound that's half a whimper, as it's getting harder and harder to keep a slow pace with her legs enveloping him and her body so inviting. But he has to be patient, has to treat her right. His tongue meets hers, caresses it with a promise of more to come, while his hands work to peel off her shirt.]

[Her own tongue slides against his, fingers curled into his back. Her back arches gently, urging him on with every motion. Sky only pulls back to let him slide her shirt over her head before leaning in to kiss him again. This time her bare stomach brushes his, and it sends that rush of desire straight between her legs.]

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It doesn't make us strong. It doesn't make us weak.

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