[She stamps her foot, realizes how childish she's sounding, takes a deep breath, and then charges forward.]
Look. By his own admission and preference - ask Eridan about any one of his alternates and I will guarantee you he will disavow any connection between them. Likewise the events you refer to were in another timeline - another universe entirely - and I was not the Kanaya Maryam involved. I am not her and she is not me. I [she places her hand over her heart here] could never do that to him.
I think of you as someone who values the truth, Roslyn. Ordinarily when this topic comes up I try to employ more courteous cues like misdirection. But this is the truth, as fully as I've been secondprong informed, of what happened to that girl. Who again, I am not.
When we left our universe, there were twelve trolls left alive in it. Ignore Meenah. She's from the past or something and an irrelevant stranger. Twelve trolls. Everyone else is out of the picture - ask any of the eight left alive and we'll all tell you the same story. It's not as important that you believe it as that you at least accept only the twelve of us were of concern.
Eridan turns around and tries to kill his rival - Sollux Captor. You may know him. Yellow blooded troll. Then he kills that troll's matesprit, Feferi Peixes, the fuchsia blooded troll. Then he tries to kill the resident jadeblooded troll - alternate me. But like I have, she comes back from the dead. Only after that does she end his life.
I arrive in Exsilium; I know nothing about this situation. I remember before the entire drama I just described hit the whirling device, we were friends. In fact [a hitch in her breath, an increase in drama] I remember us being more than friends. I told you how I came to Exsilium from an asylum. What I didn't mention at the time was that an alternate of Eridan was there with me, and we - were troll dating, you wouldn't understand, there was a third person involved and she certainly didn't understand. And actually accused me of calling her lesbian for wanting to involve her when I'm one and that didn't mean I didn't want to be involved with Eridan. I shouldn't have told you that. Apparently on Earth it's not actually very normal to be a lesbian, so I don't really know why they made up a whole human word for the phenomenon. And this is all entirely irrelevant to me and Eridan.
The point is that alternate Eridan was in love with me, and then he died, and that was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. And the third party - I don't even want to talk about her. Suffice it to say that after that virtually nothing good happened to me until I came to Exsilium.
And I find out Eridan is alive here. I'm happy to see him. I greet him as a friend. But - assuming I know about his crimes and want to avenge them - he initially has nothing to do with me, eventually accusing me of having killed him. The other trolls treat the fact that he got cut in half as a joke. The whole truth comes out piecemeal.
I try to work past this. I want to be friends with him again. Like we were before everything involving interdimensional grubnapping happened at least, if nothing else. I remember what thinking I would never see him again was like and tell myself at least this isn't that. I help him at every opportunity. I save his life. And he insults me, doesn't answer my calls, refuses to see me, pushes me away, has to be cajoled into even accepting gifts. It is after weeks of this that he gives me permission not to hate him.
And I have still stood by him when every other troll will deplore his character until the moodemons come home. I am so - so pale for him and you could not know what that even means, to feel like that, to love someone so purely who acts like he wishes you never came back from the dead and when everyone else undead or alive is telling you not to.
[She stops and then finishes in a smaller voice.] I keep thinking about whether I should gave up. Maybe I should just call my work done for now.
no subject
[She stamps her foot, realizes how childish she's sounding, takes a deep breath, and then charges forward.]
Look. By his own admission and preference - ask Eridan about any one of his alternates and I will guarantee you he will disavow any connection between them. Likewise the events you refer to were in another timeline - another universe entirely - and I was not the Kanaya Maryam involved. I am not her and she is not me. I [she places her hand over her heart here] could never do that to him.
I think of you as someone who values the truth, Roslyn. Ordinarily when this topic comes up I try to employ more courteous cues like misdirection. But this is the truth, as fully as I've been secondprong informed, of what happened to that girl. Who again, I am not.
When we left our universe, there were twelve trolls left alive in it. Ignore Meenah. She's from the past or something and an irrelevant stranger. Twelve trolls. Everyone else is out of the picture - ask any of the eight left alive and we'll all tell you the same story. It's not as important that you believe it as that you at least accept only the twelve of us were of concern.
Eridan turns around and tries to kill his rival - Sollux Captor. You may know him. Yellow blooded troll. Then he kills that troll's matesprit, Feferi Peixes, the fuchsia blooded troll. Then he tries to kill the resident jadeblooded troll - alternate me. But like I have, she comes back from the dead. Only after that does she end his life.
I arrive in Exsilium; I know nothing about this situation. I remember before the entire drama I just described hit the whirling device, we were friends. In fact [a hitch in her breath, an increase in drama] I remember us being more than friends. I told you how I came to Exsilium from an asylum. What I didn't mention at the time was that an alternate of Eridan was there with me, and we - were troll dating, you wouldn't understand, there was a third person involved and she certainly didn't understand. And actually accused me of calling her lesbian for wanting to involve her when I'm one and that didn't mean I didn't want to be involved with Eridan. I shouldn't have told you that. Apparently on Earth it's not actually very normal to be a lesbian, so I don't really know why they made up a whole human word for the phenomenon. And this is all entirely irrelevant to me and Eridan.
The point is that alternate Eridan was in love with me, and then he died, and that was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. And the third party - I don't even want to talk about her. Suffice it to say that after that virtually nothing good happened to me until I came to Exsilium.
And I find out Eridan is alive here. I'm happy to see him. I greet him as a friend. But - assuming I know about his crimes and want to avenge them - he initially has nothing to do with me, eventually accusing me of having killed him. The other trolls treat the fact that he got cut in half as a joke. The whole truth comes out piecemeal.
I try to work past this. I want to be friends with him again. Like we were before everything involving interdimensional grubnapping happened at least, if nothing else. I remember what thinking I would never see him again was like and tell myself at least this isn't that. I help him at every opportunity. I save his life. And he insults me, doesn't answer my calls, refuses to see me, pushes me away, has to be cajoled into even accepting gifts. It is after weeks of this that he gives me permission not to hate him.
And I have still stood by him when every other troll will deplore his character until the moodemons come home. I am so - so pale for him and you could not know what that even means, to feel like that, to love someone so purely who acts like he wishes you never came back from the dead and when everyone else undead or alive is telling you not to.
[She stops and then finishes in a smaller voice.] I keep thinking about whether I should gave up. Maybe I should just call my work done for now.