[there's a bizarre relief in knowing that someone can validate his feelings of helplessness with his situation. but what's more is that Kaworu is so astute with his observations, a little unnervingly so -- in some ways, Nageki feels as though he's known him for some time despite his personal questions. it's nice, to be sure, but Nageki isn't certain he should be relying on him this way...
still, it isn't as though there are any rules for ghosts in figuring out their pasts and futures. and he knows there's plenty of merit behind Kaworu's words; there's no desire in his motives to fulfill himself by learning about his life, or at least, not anymore. he has no intention of making an identity out of it, and no reason to even assume he could. at best, he can only hope to move on, without feeling as though he's leaving his history with something (or someone) behind unfinished.
finally, with a resigned sigh, Nageki tries his best a explain himself. there's no reason to force himself to do it, but -- he doesn't feel as though he's forcing himself at all. if anything, it's a good way to sort out his thoughts,]
You're right, Kaworu-san. I'm not placing any guarantee on that. [he can't deny that it would feel good to gain something from it, but all the same.] I can no longer call myself that person, after all -- and I don't feel that will change from regaining those memories, either.
[he grows a little quieter now, a bit tentative, like he's not sure how much Kaworu wants to hear.]
But there are things that were very important to me back then. When I do pass on, I want to be able to let go of those things properly... how can I do that if I don't know what they are?
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still, it isn't as though there are any rules for ghosts in figuring out their pasts and futures. and he knows there's plenty of merit behind Kaworu's words; there's no desire in his motives to fulfill himself by learning about his life, or at least, not anymore. he has no intention of making an identity out of it, and no reason to even assume he could. at best, he can only hope to move on, without feeling as though he's leaving his history with something (or someone) behind unfinished.
finally, with a resigned sigh, Nageki tries his best a explain himself. there's no reason to force himself to do it, but -- he doesn't feel as though he's forcing himself at all. if anything, it's a good way to sort out his thoughts,]
You're right, Kaworu-san. I'm not placing any guarantee on that. [he can't deny that it would feel good to gain something from it, but all the same.] I can no longer call myself that person, after all -- and I don't feel that will change from regaining those memories, either.
[he grows a little quieter now, a bit tentative, like he's not sure how much Kaworu wants to hear.]
But there are things that were very important to me back then. When I do pass on, I want to be able to let go of those things properly... how can I do that if I don't know what they are?