[he watches for a length while trying to get some structure out of his thoughts. lots of bustling notions, not a lot of straight talk.]

But there's...reasons to not fear, too. [his hand reaches up to scratch at his forehead.] The ones I forgot, I mean. I didn't know I forgot until I was called again. Then I remembered. [his fingers pinch a length of hair for a moment before dropping, looking from Bariyan to Koltira again.]

That's...why I'm sorry. That I didn't remember. I won't let it go away again. I mean, I don't want to... [his face flushes a bit, starting to get a twinge in his stomach, making him feel foolish.] I'll write it, or...I mean, I'll just remember this time. So that even if I get scared I can remember there's still a lot to not be scared of.

[he flickers glances between his hands on the table and Koltira, licking his lips.]

I just...wanted you to know that. I couldn't stand not being able to say...