He's sick of having to do this over and over again, of being swept up in this cycle of chasing and shoving again. But even as he runs from Asuka and Kaworu and Rei, he needs them badly. No one else could understand. No one else could help him. Kazu and the others who reached out to him--he can't open up to them, how could he? He wants someone to help him. Even as he keeps away, he wants someone to grab him by the hand and save him from this terrible loneliness and useless feeling.

(Let me be worth something. Somebody, please, help me. But his mouth won't open to plead.)

He brushes his eyes with the back of his hand. He's crying when he should be answering her, protesting. How goddamn shameful and pitiful of him. How weak.

"How-- how am I supposed to?"