Jesse Pinkman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hostage) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
exsiliumlogs2013-04-03 11:40 pm
hostage) wrote in exsiliumlogs2013-04-03 11:40 pm
Entry tags:
Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away.
Date & Time: April 5
Location: Unit 409
Characters: Jesse & Lisbeth
Summary: Jesse finally gets around to testing the U.E.'s drug on himself.
Warnings: Drug... use...
[Two handwritten notes sit on the bedside table. One is addressed to Lisbeth and it explains what he's doing and why, so there isn't any mistaking it and she won't blame herself if something goes wrong. The other is addressed to Saul and it's more business-focused, because Saul decided he wasn't fired so he gets to do the work of distributing Jesse's belongings if something goes wrong.
If something goes wrong.
Jesse takes a deep breath and picks up the syringe. It's clean, it's prepared. He has a good idea of what the drug is, chemically. It's a familiar demon. That means Jesse's even pretty sure of the right dose. He's got his belt tied tight around his arm just like Jane taught him. He's ready. He just has to do it.
He eases the needle closer to his vein.
His hand is shaking.]
Fuck.
[He drops his hand and the syringe along with it, letting out a sound that's something between a wail and a hiss of frustration. It's not just that he can't hold steady enough to pierce the vein. He's scared and alone here. Jane isn't holding his hand. Jane's dead. How's he supposed to do this?
The syringe ends up next to the notes on the bedstand and Jesse jerks the belt off his arm. His fingers are tingly-numb already, the blood rushing back into them. He sits there on the bed, cradling his head for several minutes.
He was recording this on his tablet for science's sake, but he gets up finally to turn it off. And once he's standing, he looks at the door. Should he? Shouldn't he? Would it be monstrous of him to consider it?
He gives in. Slowly, he leaves his bedroom and walks to Lisbeth's. When he reaches her door, he knocks very quietly. Quiet enough that she can ignore it if she wants to, which he thinks she might.]
Location: Unit 409
Characters: Jesse & Lisbeth
Summary: Jesse finally gets around to testing the U.E.'s drug on himself.
Warnings: Drug... use...
[Two handwritten notes sit on the bedside table. One is addressed to Lisbeth and it explains what he's doing and why, so there isn't any mistaking it and she won't blame herself if something goes wrong. The other is addressed to Saul and it's more business-focused, because Saul decided he wasn't fired so he gets to do the work of distributing Jesse's belongings if something goes wrong.
If something goes wrong.
Jesse takes a deep breath and picks up the syringe. It's clean, it's prepared. He has a good idea of what the drug is, chemically. It's a familiar demon. That means Jesse's even pretty sure of the right dose. He's got his belt tied tight around his arm just like Jane taught him. He's ready. He just has to do it.
He eases the needle closer to his vein.
His hand is shaking.]
Fuck.
[He drops his hand and the syringe along with it, letting out a sound that's something between a wail and a hiss of frustration. It's not just that he can't hold steady enough to pierce the vein. He's scared and alone here. Jane isn't holding his hand. Jane's dead. How's he supposed to do this?
The syringe ends up next to the notes on the bedstand and Jesse jerks the belt off his arm. His fingers are tingly-numb already, the blood rushing back into them. He sits there on the bed, cradling his head for several minutes.
He was recording this on his tablet for science's sake, but he gets up finally to turn it off. And once he's standing, he looks at the door. Should he? Shouldn't he? Would it be monstrous of him to consider it?
He gives in. Slowly, he leaves his bedroom and walks to Lisbeth's. When he reaches her door, he knocks very quietly. Quiet enough that she can ignore it if she wants to, which he thinks she might.]