imusntrunaway: (32)
shinji, you fucker ([personal profile] imusntrunaway) wrote in [community profile] exsiliumlogs 2013-07-31 12:45 am (UTC)

[He's always been scared. But like a horror movie, once he's been exposed to it again and again, the little things like bombs and gore began to dull and blur into a continuous, fuzzy sensation for him--difficult to distinguish and difficult to be afraid of. There's always that short burst of adrenaline and panic, but he's been trained now like one of Pavlov's dogs to push through pain and terror. To channel that primal instinct into calculating rage and power for the sake of surviving.

He's still scared. But like the soldier he's been forced to be, he's learned to box it away into a small, dark compartment in the back of his mind that remained sealed until those lonely nights alone, when he's allowed to be the child he is again. So when he's asked about how he is, he can keep a still face and answer that he's fine.]


Right. See you later. [A pause.] Come back with your friend soon so we can meet.

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