[closed;]

[substitutable]

Date & Time: July 13th
Location: unit 207
Characters: the necromancer (clinical) | the hikiNEET (substitutable)
Summary: Shintaro has a delivery of food for Jade. Maybe some questions, too.
Warnings: n/a

[Whether Kido made it or Shintaro was just in charge of dinner at his own apartment and made a decent-enough meal and decided to make delivering it to Jade an excuse to come see the medic, in the end what matters is that Shintaro arrived at the door of unit 207 with a tray of saran-wrapped dinner in his hands and a request to be let inside, if Jade doesn't mind. We're going to say he didn't mind for the sake of this meeting, and thus the loser is sitting somewhere close to but not all up in the soldier's space, quiet for the most part as if he's debating whether he really wants to say whatever's on his mind or not.

Right as asking him what he wants is starting to become an acceptable course of action because he's been silent so long, Shintaro straightens up in his seat and turns to Jade]

... Can I ask you something?

Comments

[clinical]

[Peony and Saphir immediately come to mind. Jade sets aside the thought, having no desire to turn it over at present.]

Such individuals often are 'a breath of fresh air' in these circumstances, as you put it.

[substitutable]

If you notice it, at least.

[He sighs, softly. His shoulders drop as he lets out that breath, and it appears that he's getting less tense about speaking, although he himself isn't all that comfortable still. These were still things that weren't known to anybody but himself. Momo, perhaps, would remember the sort of person he used to be. Even he knew that he was a little different from before he met Ayano (or, he thinks idly, Ene).]

Ever since I was a kid, I was a little smarter than most people. Schoolwork was never any trouble. I knew the answer to every question. As long as it was academics, I could do it without having to try. And I figured, everything else is probably the same, too. [he pauses. He pulls his hands apart and fiddles with the end of one of his sleeves.] It was boring, so I stopped paying attention.

So I never noticed, until after she died.

[clinical]

[None of this is a surprise to Jade. The data is more confirmation of his theories than it is a surprise. He takes a sip of his tea before answering.] It must have been quite a shock to see her here.

[substitutable]

[He shakes his head.]

I was surprised at first, but not really shocked. She had as much chance of showing up here as anybody else. But I guess... I never expected to see her again.

[clinical]

[As he had once before, Shintaro seems to deny what Jade says then confirm it in different words. That is the shock Jade means: the shock of seeing someone you thought dead alive, regardless of intellectual awareness that it is just as probable as anything.

It isn't something he bothers to explain.]

Some would say that this is a fine second chance.

[substitutable]

[He looks at Jade once again. He controls his tone again, and he controls his expression. He asks it like it's just a survey, like he's asking a question for a school project.]

Would you take that sort of chance?

[It's a question he already knows his own answer to.]

[clinical]

[Jade can't help the wry smile. Has Jade taken that chance? Luke and Asch are here. He has an opportunity that once he had lost.

But he does not forget for a moment that they are truly dead. Fate cannot be changed, and they are lost to him. Rather than a second chance, this is just a moment of grace.]

Is there a reason my answer interests you when you've already made yours?

[substitutable]

[He doesn't hesitate. He can't hesitate right now.]

I want to keep asking questions that don't mean anything because I was told that asking only the meaningful questions will make life boring.

[clinical]

[Jade lifts his eyebrows. It is, at the least, an answer that makes Jade's own worthwhile.]

In that case, no. I don't consider this a second chance. Regardless of the Initiative's technologies, those lost to me will remain lost when I return home.

However . . . it would be childish to waste an opportunity to enjoy their company merely because that company will be lost again.

[substitutable]

... So it won't change anything, in the end, but you think it might be worth it?

[He asks the question, then thinks he worded it wrongly, shaking his head. It isn't that nothing will change. The deaths won't change. Their absence won't change. But if they were to remember what happens in Exsilium -- will they? considering the complications of the time-space continuum, he has a feeling they won't remember anything once they leave -- they would remember. There could be closure. People could move on. But he still doesn't know if he's supposed to be moving forward like that.]

Do you think you won't regret it?

[clinical]

[Rather than answering the first question, Jade considers the second. He has a great many regrets, but . . .]

I will certainly regret it less than I would regret doing nothing.

[substitutable]

... [Shintaro straightens up in his seat. This conversation could go on or end right then and there. He could continue it; in a world like this it was never too soon to learn a lot about people who could disappear at any moment. But somehow, he feels like going further than this would only serve to stab knives into their old wounds.]

Thank you, Jade-san. It... sort of helped to talk to someone.

[clinical]

[Jade nods.]

Good luck, Shintaro. [He smiles slightly.] Try not to screw up too badly.

[substitutable]

[... He grimaces.] I'll try, but I think I'll be fine. [He raises his hand to clutch the fabric of his own jacket as he makes a move to stand.]

It's been a while since I've been worried about screwing up, so I might be less careless.