Why Jesse did it — or tried to do it — doesn't matter, at this point. Whether he did it because he wanted to end his own suffering or because he wanted to make Saul feel even worse or both or neither — he's considered all the possibilities, weighed their implications. In the end, he decides that the reason why, whatever it may be, is irrelevant. It didn't happen and Jesse's still here, as solid as anything in Saul's arms, and that's all that matters right now.
There's something automatic in the way he presses his lips to Jesse's head and starts to mumble quiet reassurances. It feels like all he's been doing lately is relying on physical contact to keep the people he loves from straying too far, like if he holds on tightly enough everything will be okay.
He'd wonder when he lost his ability to persuade with words alone, but he already knows Jesse never trusted him completely. Neither did Stephanie. And now neither of them trust him at all, he suspects.
no subject
Why Jesse did it — or tried to do it — doesn't matter, at this point. Whether he did it because he wanted to end his own suffering or because he wanted to make Saul feel even worse or both or neither — he's considered all the possibilities, weighed their implications. In the end, he decides that the reason why, whatever it may be, is irrelevant. It didn't happen and Jesse's still here, as solid as anything in Saul's arms, and that's all that matters right now.
There's something automatic in the way he presses his lips to Jesse's head and starts to mumble quiet reassurances. It feels like all he's been doing lately is relying on physical contact to keep the people he loves from straying too far, like if he holds on tightly enough everything will be okay.
He'd wonder when he lost his ability to persuade with words alone, but he already knows Jesse never trusted him completely. Neither did Stephanie. And now neither of them trust him at all, he suspects.
He doesn't know what to do about that.
One step at a time, though. Right?]
It's okay, Jesse.