you trust me, don't you baby?

[implying]

Date & Time: forward dated to the 27th
Location: somewhere in Old London, there is a shitty hovel with a dude in it.
Characters: Marduk & Vanadi (& Apollo)
Summary: space-elves and non-elves and a lack of maturity, or any other kind of desirable personality trait (& Apollo)
Warnings: probably not (Apollo)

[ It's been long enough by now that there seems very little reason not to pick up what tattered shreds of pride he has left, and pack them away. Besides, this is ridiculous. There hadn't even been an actual reason for their last conversation to go as poorly as it had — to the point where he isn't even sure what to apologize for. If there's even one needed. He feels relatively sure that there is, but he's not fully sold on it yet.

But either way, Vanadi trudges unhappily through the snow, bundled enough that he hardly even needs his hologram emitter (he'd brought it anyway), and hones in slowly on the signal his mind can trace from Marduk's tablet. It brings him to a door, half lost in the snow, amidst the ruins of what Transports used to know as Exsilium.

With a breath in to steady himself, he knocks. ]

Comments

[implying]

[ Well, he hasn't been shoved off, that's a minor victory. He'll take it. ]

Well then, what of your romantic attachment? Surely you must care about that one.

[oversleeps]

Do you really want to hear about her? [ a glance. his tone of voice is dubious at best. ] I always figured you for nosy, but never to that degree.

[implying]

No? Then you hadn't figured me very well. Romance is my specialty, my dear. ( and he adds a wink, just because. )

Go on then. How did you meet her?

[oversleeps]

[ marduk shakes his head. ] I think-- that's probably enough questions for now. Isn't it?

[ he's not exactly looking for agreement on this one. he stands up, finally brushing off vanadi's leg in the process. ] It is getting late. [ not that he has any idea what time it is in here. he doesn't even look outside if he doesn't have to. ]

[implying]

( Vanadi frowns. He'll take his leg back if he has to, but he doesn't look ready to stand any time soon. It certainly isn't enough questions for now. )

Quite alright. Getting home in the dark is hardly an issue with my particular assets. ( not that infrared is really all that much help in such a uniformly cold climate. But more importantly: ) Why don't you want to tell me?

[oversleeps]

Asking a question doesn't entitle you to an answer. [ he crosses his arms at that, to give his words some sort of reinforcement. ] Am I not allowed to keep things to myself? The why of it shouldn't matter.

[implying]

No, I suppose it doesn't entitle me to an answer.

( He slowly draws himself straight, one leg folded over the other, elbow on his knee and chin in hand. )

But I do want to know. I'm excited to see you alive and whole, Marduk -- I'd very much like to learn who you are now, and how you differ and have grown from the man I've known.

( 'Loved' had been at the tip of his tongue, but he has enough experience not to use it. Too much truth can drive people away. He smiles. )

You've no obligation to answer, but I do ask as a friend.

[oversleeps]

[ ugh, that's entirely too reasonable. marduk hunches over, arms wrapping around himself a little tighter. vanadi is persuasive ]

Maybe I don't know you that well. [ to backtrack a little, here. ] That we can probably agree on. Doesn't count as much of a friendship. [ even the word is bitter tasting in his mouth-- by no fault of vanadi's, mind. ]

[implying]

[ There's some hurt to hear that, but it masquerades as annoyance, which is much easier to handle. His ears draw back, but he keeps the smile. ]

Gods, but I should hope you don't know me that well -- with the amount of time it's been since you last saw me? I quite simply refuse to believe any memory is that good.

[ There, pride more or less salvaged. He looks a little less taut, forcing himself back into friendly relaxation. ]

But of course, there are always opportunities to learn more, should you care to take them.

[oversleeps]

It would depend on what constitutes an opportunity. [ it's true that he hardly has a flawless recollection of his previous time in exsilum. not everyone gets to have an eidetic memory, as much as some of them would like to. (it'd save him a fortune in paper.)

but he remembers some things-- kisses exchanged for information, among other deals; ones he couldn't possibly follow through with now. ] ... And what the cost of them are.

[implying]

( He probably shouldn't be offended by the implication there, as anyone who knows him might say the same -- but he still is. His smile fades entirely, and he half spreads both arms in self presentation. )

Merely ask. There is your opportunity.

[oversleeps]

[ it's not that he doesn't trust him. it's just that now, provided with the option to ask anything he wants, there's nothing marduk can think of. the one thing that was nagging at him the most vanadi had already seen fit to answer.

well, maybe there is something else. ] Why are you being so persistent with this? [ with him? whatever. reverse the situation here and marduk would've left a while ago-- hell, that's half what he's been gunning for this whole time. ]

[implying]

( His spread hands hover for a moment, then fall to the couch, before he moves them to rest in his lap. Honesty never comes naturally to him. )

I've told you already. I care for you a great deal -- whether or not you've ever remembered me.

[oversleeps]

[ is that really enough? marduk chews on his lip, thoughtful. it's an answer not nearly selfish enough for him to be able to accept, in the end. honest, maybe, but not honest enough. ]

Maybe too much. [ that probably goes both ways. after a moment's pause he speaks again, quieter this time: ] I might not have always remembered you right away. But I never forgot.

[implying]

[ He watches Marduk unhappily. What's the use of hearing about how things used to be between them, in the face of how they are now? He frowns, and finally glances away. ]

Lovely. Not much I can do with it now, but terribly touching.

[oversleeps]

[ he stiffens, arms falling away as his hands ball into fists. the grin he gives vanadi is incredulous, disbelieving; finally, he just throws his arms up, completely exasperated.

and he flips his shit. ] I can't fucking deal with you! I couldn't before and now, I don't fucking know, it's even worse-- [ he pauses for a short breath, sucking his teeth. ] I thought; coming back, I thought-- [ he doesn't know what he thought. deprived of a good finish, marduk elects to take his frustration out with a kick at the couch itself. ] Fuck!

[implying]

[ He stays on the couch like it's a lifeboat, and leaping off would be forfeiting the game. But he does look nearly ready to spring up, if the tension in his body and the glare at Marduk are anything to go by. ]

Are you so sure it's me? I've been here, doing nothing in particular save missing my vanished friend, right up until he comes back and — [ He gestures sharply toward him. ] Ruins it.

[oversleeps]

Ruins it? How, by not agreeing to fuck you anymore? [ marduk's voice lowers to a sharp hiss. he cocks his head at vanadi, eyebrows raised over a manic grin. ] As I recall from the other day, you're the one who started this shit.

[ not that it wouldn't have gone south anyway. his head lowers, one hand over his mouth, as he forces himself to breathe. the reprieve doesn't last long; in a few seconds, he's shouting again. ] And I missed you too, you dumb motherfucker!

[implying]

I started it, but I came here intending to finish it! It's you who seems to think all I've ever wanted out of you is a good fuck.

[ It's about here that he finally realizes he can't justify staying any longer. Before there'd been the hope that this might sort itself out, that he might wiggle back onto Marduk's good side, but things are only getting worse. He unfolds from the couch at last, smile at something more like a sneer as he looks up at him. ]

Enjoy your soup, my dear.

[oversleeps]

Wait-- [ his voice peaks on a particularly desperate note, there; no, no, wait. marduk grabs for vanadi's arm without even realizing it, but has nothing to follow up with beyond that. explanations and apologies well up, sticking in his throat-- but he digs his fingers in, unwilling to let go.

he searches for something else to say and only comes up with more stalling. ] Wait.

[implying]

[ Vanadi pauses, taut but stilled, and carefully wary. There's been nearly nothing pleasant out of Marduk's mouth all night, he has no reason to think it would suddenly be otherwise. ]

What?

[oversleeps]

[ it's funny. he hadn't wanted vanadi to be here or even come at all, or so he thought. from there, it made sense to want him to leave. now, faced with the prospect of that actually happening, marduk realizes he is a complete and utter dumbass. ]

-- Please don't go. [ he finally manages to choke out, the ends of his words clipped by his teeth slamming shut. he's not expecting the world in response to that, or even much at all; it was worth the try alone. ]

[implying]

[ ...Well, he's heard worse. He still isn't convinced, but he's rethought storming out. He eyes him warily for a few seconds more, then leans in. Nothing terribly romantic or touchy, for once, just to lean his forehead against Marduk's chest. ]

You're a very upsetting man. I find it difficult to believe anyone in any world would put up with you.

holy fuck, the ice burn

[oversleeps]

Ha. [ hilarious! he even grins at that. (it's barely pleasant, despite his best efforts.) his hold on vanadi's arm relaxes a bit, but he's far from letting go.

still, he has nothing real to say. he gives a light shrug, not wanting to disturb vanadi overmuch. ] You aren't the only one who does.

it was ur 100 comment anniversary burn

[implying]

[ Up this close, there's yet another difference to discover. He'd never minded Marduk's scent before, but now it's pleasant. The sort of thing he wouldn't mind falling asleep beside. There is, of course, another rising urge to kiss, but he contents himself with just resting a hand lightly on either side of Marduk's waist. ]

I still want to know. [ About his life, now that he has one — about his friends, and especially about whoever it is keeping Vanadi from kissing him. ]