Asuka Langley Soryu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redheadcarrier) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
exsiliumlogs2014-02-05 12:36 pm
redheadcarrier) wrote in exsiliumlogs2014-02-05 12:36 pm
Entry tags:
[closed] It all returns to nothing
Who: Asuka and Kaji
What: People have left and Asuka's distraught.
Where: Kaji's housing.
When: Afternoon of the 5th
Warnings: Angst.
It'd taken a while for it to sink in. Kaworu was gone, Shinji was gone, Utena was gone. Just like that. She'd spoken to them all within the last week and then suddenly, they'd had "sent home" next to their names and she didn't have any satisfactory answers for herself. She had a screaming match with Kanaya (briefly) over the network and since then she's either been curled up in bed or wandering around, trying to make sense of everything.
It really does feel as if everything's been ripped away, right when it was finally starting to make some sort of sense.
Of course, there's still someone left, who she's only partially made her peace with. He's also the only other person from her world still here. Asuka finds herself at his door, staring at it with red-rimmed eyes as she tries to sort out the tangle of anger and despair. She really does hate the world. She hates the Initiative. She hates Kaworu for leaving, when he promised he wouldn't. She hates Shinji for being Shinji. She hates Utena for being her friend.
She hates herself for not being good enough.
Asuka knocks on Kaji's door and tries to stop the tears from welling up. She doesn't want to cry in front of him, but she might not end up having a choice in the matter.
What: People have left and Asuka's distraught.
Where: Kaji's housing.
When: Afternoon of the 5th
Warnings: Angst.
It'd taken a while for it to sink in. Kaworu was gone, Shinji was gone, Utena was gone. Just like that. She'd spoken to them all within the last week and then suddenly, they'd had "sent home" next to their names and she didn't have any satisfactory answers for herself. She had a screaming match with Kanaya (briefly) over the network and since then she's either been curled up in bed or wandering around, trying to make sense of everything.
It really does feel as if everything's been ripped away, right when it was finally starting to make some sort of sense.
Of course, there's still someone left, who she's only partially made her peace with. He's also the only other person from her world still here. Asuka finds herself at his door, staring at it with red-rimmed eyes as she tries to sort out the tangle of anger and despair. She really does hate the world. She hates the Initiative. She hates Kaworu for leaving, when he promised he wouldn't. She hates Shinji for being Shinji. She hates Utena for being her friend.
She hates herself for not being good enough.
Asuka knocks on Kaji's door and tries to stop the tears from welling up. She doesn't want to cry in front of him, but she might not end up having a choice in the matter.