[open] the elf and the smoking toaster

[arlathansgrace]

Date & Time: November 27th, Midday
Location: Outside the transport housing
Characters: Merrill and YOU
Summary: Merrill lights a toaster on fire and has generally terrible luck with technology.
Warnings: Depends on whatchu bring yo



[Having decided she will do her best to fit in, Merrill is taking action. She's not going to do something as crazy and wearing shoes, that's just ludicrous and hardly comfortable, but technology is something she's willing to tackle. If she can figure out how to live in a human city, surely human technology can't be so bad.

She is, of course, quite terribly wrong, and her being so wrong is the primary reason she stands outside transport housing staring at the still smoking toaster on the pavement in front of her.

It belches a lick of flame, clearly to torment her a little more. With a distressed sound, she paces in a circle around it.]

I'm sorry, but I don't know how to fix you.

[Genuine distress laces her voice.]

You're not like the Eluvian, oh, this is a disaster. I should have stuck with building fire pits, oh-- [She makes another nervous circuit of the toaster, and something inside it makes a grinding noise. Shrieking, she jumps back, summoning her magic at the same time. A stone fist punches upward from the ground beneath the toaster, shooting the offending bit of technology some feet into the air. It crashes to the ground and bounces twice.

Defiantly, it continues smoking.]

Comments

omg i can't *giggling* x.x

[celestial_wizard]

[ Lucy, meanwhile, is on her way out for a walk, in pretty high spirits considering. As she opens the door, a toaster falls in frot of her, bouncing and smoking. ]

What the..!~

[ Is it raining toasters? Or maybe it fell out of someone's window? Either way that was close! ]

[bloodyantivan]

[Zevran's headed back from training today, dressed in light, dark clothes that cling to his body in the right way, but still manage to hide a lot of knives, probably.

He's drawn to the spot where he's seen a toaster shoot directly in the air, and is amused to find Merrill at the other end of that disaster.]

...Were you trying to make toast outside, pet?

[shelkethetransparent]

[Shelke was just stepping out of the apartments when the fist of stone sent a toaster hurdling into the air, and instinctively she vanished, fading into invisible even as her eyes went a bit wide. Was that a toaster?]

[Silent footsteps carry her towards it, until she notices the elf girl nearby. The one who apparently had gotten lost on her first day, and was she...talking to the appliance? Hmm.

[After a few seconds, she fades back into view, one eyebrow raised.]

...Are you having problems?

[nonedible]

[Guess who else doesn't understand much technology, this plant...lady...thing. Sylvari, there we go.

Guess who also happens to be passing by just in time to almost be hit by said toaster. If you guess this sylvari, you'd be right.

The toaster lands in front of Taicea, prompting a shriek and her almost falling on her rear. She stares at the smoking toaster for a moment before looking around to see where it might have come from.]

My fronds...

[arlathansgrace]

Oh, I'm sorry, look out? It's a bit late for that... I'm sorry, are you hurt?

[Merrill rushes up to her, knocking the toaster aside with the end of her staff, a concerned look on her face.]

[arlathansgrace]

Is that what you make with this?

[Merrill pokes at the toaster, still smoking, with her staff and frowns.] I wasn't sure. I put a few leaves in it when I realized it got hot, but then everything went very wrong.

Do you what this is?

[arlathansgrace]

[Startled, Merrill stumbles back, large eyes wide with surprise.]

Oh, hello, I didn't see you there. You were... invisible? I didn't know mages could do that. Are you a mage?

[She considers Shelke for a moment.]

You look familiar, have we met? Maybe on that lovely communication stone. Device. Thing. It's like pigeons, but faster.

[arlathansgrace]

[It's a plant.

That is alive.

Merrill is borderline thrilled by this, I will have you know. Also eee Sylvari :>]

Fronds? What do fronds have to do with it? I suppose you must have them. Since you're a plant.

Creators.

You're a plant.

Is that odd? Do you have roots?

[nonedible]

[Taicea squints at Merrill for a moment before smiling brightly. She must be one of the elves. So many of those around and they all look different!]

It's not odd, at least not back home. There's many of us. [She gives a little laugh in response to the question about roots.] Oh no. No roots.

We don't grow in the ground like plants, we grow from a tree like fruits.

[alwaysforhim]

Hang on!

[He'd seen the magic, the way the flaming metal object had leapt up-- and for a moment, he'd forgotten that magic was legal here.]

Don't do that, you're in public!

[charming_jerk]

[Oh wow okay. Sure.]

...Toasters don't talk. If they did, I'm pretty sure this one'd be way past dead anyway.

[arlathansgrace]

Like fruits? Are you a fruit then? Which kind? No, wait, let me guess! You're a kiwi? I had one once, they're very good.

[arlathansgrace]

Do what?

[She's surprised, poking the toaster with her staff as she looks at him.]

Is this not how you use one of these? Do you know? I'm not sure I understand it. At all. Do you?

[arlathansgrace]

Is that what it is? A toaster? I didn't know it was called that. Of course it doesn't talk, why would it?

[With wide eyes, she regards first the toaster, then him.]

Do things talk here? Like people? [Because the logical conclusion to be drawn from "toaster don't talk" is that some things do.]

[charming_jerk]

[He almost wants to tell her yes. He really does. But it's pretty obvious things here don't, so he changes his mind.]

Not unless we suddenly turn into some kinda Disney cartoon. What the hell did ya do to the thing? What'd ya put in it?

[nonedible]

[The sylvari shakes her head as she gives another small laugh. No we aren't fruits, we just grow on a tree in pods like one. I mean, have you ever known a fruit to walk and talk?

[endured]

( well, Hope had been leaving the housing block with the thought of heading to the Hold for training. needless to say, by the time he reaches the first floor and hears a shriek before he notices a toaster flying upwards out of the corner of his eye... he has to pause and wonder.

of course, everything is answered (no, its not) when he reaches the ground floor and sees Merrill. )

Hey, are you okay? ( a careful glance toward where the toaster crashed into the ground, and frowning. ) Well, at least you seem in better shape than the toaster.

[celestial_wizard]

No it's okay,I'm all right! [ Lucy grins sheepishly, watching Merrill knock the toaster aside. ]

But what happened? It looks like it was on fire or something, that toaster.

[arlathansgrace]

I'm fine, yes, thank you. But I don't think the--the toaster? I don't think it is.

I may have broken it. Do you think that's a problem?

[Merrill. Sweetie.

You didn't break the toaster. You macerated it.]

[arlathansgrace]

Disney?

Oh, just a few leaves. I was going to make a snack, and when I pushed the buttons on it, it got hot, so I thought it would be better than building a firepit inside. Except then it started burning.

[arlathansgrace]

No, I haven't. Have you? I think they must, somewhere. Walk and talk, that is. If there are so many worlds, there must be one with talking fruits.

[arlathansgrace]

It was. I did that, I'm afraid. I was trying to make a snack. Leaves. But then they caught fire, and so did the toaster.

[bloodyantivan]

[Quite gingerly, Zevran picked up the toaster and shook it out, emptying the remains of leaves from the still-smoking toaster onto the sidewalk and stomping them out for good measure.]

It is a machine that toasts slices of bread. As you have undoubtedly noticed, these little bits - the hot bits - crisp up the bread.

I'm afraid that placing the leaves in there is rather the same as putting them close to an open flame.

[endured]

( Hope glances to the toaster again, frowning. he doesn't even need to walk over at this point. )

I think... you might have to get another toaster at this point, to be honest.

( RIP toaster. )

[charming_jerk]

Ya know, they ma-- Never mind. Ain't important.

What's important is, don't put leaves in a toaster. Ever. Man, I think we need to come up with like, "Newbie's Guide to Life in this World" or somethin'.

...Wait, why were you gonna eat leaves?