♞ riku (
limitstorm) wrote in
exsiliumlogs2013-11-22 05:11 pm
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Entry tags:
(no subject)
Date & Time: November 22.
Location: the Observatory Deck
Characters: Riku and Lea (
limitstorm and
promises_to_keep)
Summary: Some things need to be said.
Warnings: PG, PG-13 for language?
Can you come to the Observatory deck? I've gotta tell you something.
[ of all things, riku never quite thought this would happen. he'd... really only felt like this once before--that was why he was certain it was the same, now. he'd felt this way about ranka, but she'd disappeared after the first date. the problem here, of course, was that he knew lea wouldn't feel the same way. lea was older, efficient, and riku was... well.
he sighed, rifling through his hair. he was nervous.
he hadn't meant to let this happen, but figuring it out meant that he'd have to come clean. as much as he liked lea's companionship, he wasn't willing to operate under a lie. and maybe it's not quite a lie, but it feels wrong. arms crossed, he stares out the window, wondering what exactly he can say at this moment in time.
at least... they didn't need to be friends for riku to train him. it'd make things awkward, though, he supposed. pretty awkward. ]
Location: the Observatory Deck
Characters: Riku and Lea (
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Summary: Some things need to be said.
Warnings: PG, PG-13 for language?
Can you come to the Observatory deck? I've gotta tell you something.
[ of all things, riku never quite thought this would happen. he'd... really only felt like this once before--that was why he was certain it was the same, now. he'd felt this way about ranka, but she'd disappeared after the first date. the problem here, of course, was that he knew lea wouldn't feel the same way. lea was older, efficient, and riku was... well.
he sighed, rifling through his hair. he was nervous.
he hadn't meant to let this happen, but figuring it out meant that he'd have to come clean. as much as he liked lea's companionship, he wasn't willing to operate under a lie. and maybe it's not quite a lie, but it feels wrong. arms crossed, he stares out the window, wondering what exactly he can say at this moment in time.
at least... they didn't need to be friends for riku to train him. it'd make things awkward, though, he supposed. pretty awkward. ]
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[Lea's in an exorbitantly good mood: he just beat his high score on Angry Birds. His hair is pulled back in a tiny ponytail and he's acquired a plaid scarf somewhere that he's got draped casually around his neck, and combined with the look of self-satisfaction on his face, Lea's the picture of Don't Take Me Seriously today.
[He's finally gotten the hang of navigating the moonbase, at least, and makes it to the observatory right on time. Hands in his pockets, he moves up beside Riku and glances about their surroundings, then chortles.]
Should I have worn something shadier? Looks like we're about to have a clandestine conspiracy meeting in the dark or something.
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I know it looks shady. [ he does. he lets out a breath, scrubbing the back of his neck with his nails. ]
Sorry. I didn't know where else to go.
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[He regards him sidelong a moment, then shifts to lean against the glass, arms folded and eyes narrow. Something isn't quite right here.]
You look eight kinds of uptight. Did something happen?
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I figured something out.
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Uh, congrats?
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he breathes in slowly, thinking of how to break the ice, slowly coming to the way he tells everybody something that's painful or bad.
being blunt. ]
I like you.
[ he says, simple. ]
As more than a friend.
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Wait, what? [That can't be right. He twists a finger in his ear like maybe it was plugged up, then just sort of boggles at Riku a moment.] You're pullin' my leg, right? [He chuckles and glances over his shoulder like he's looking for a hidden camera or something.] Did Roxas put you up to this or something?
[Very funny; it's not even April!]
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he kind of expected rejection, but outright laughing wasn't something he'd thought was on the horizon. ]
No.
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[Lea's mirth is extinguished like a smothered flame, leaving something heavy in his stomach and a squeezing sensation at the base of his spine. Riku isn't kidding.]
You're... not messing with me... are you. [It's not really a question; he can see it in his face. He swallows, then sort of backpedals, completely disoriented.] Wow, uh. I... I gotta siddown.
[And he does, right on the floor, folding up his long legs and planting his palms on his knees. Staring at the floor a moment, every gear in Lea's head turns noisily within his skull. This is just so completely out of the realm of possibility! What the hell would a person like Riku see in a person like him? He's a liar, a killer, a traitor... Lea's grateful to have been given a chance in the first place, but this is unequivocally the last thing he could have ever expected.
[He lifts one hand to press his thumb against the ridge of his eyebrow, then looks up at Riku.] I... was not expecting that. At all. Are you... sure?
[Wait, that sounds really mean. He waves his hands.]
I mean, you're... And I'm... [Dammit, that sounds even worse. Okay, one more try.] But I'm an obnoxious pain in the ass!
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for a moment, his stomach drops, before there's a wellspring of words at the back of his tongue. ]
I'm sure. My heart doesn't change that easily. [ he shakes his head lightly, before looking elsewhere, then back at lea, steady. ]
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Your heart... [His hand swims up to his chest and tangles in the front of his shirt, and then his gaze drifts for a moment. Jeez, he doesn't even know what to do with his heart--he just got it back and now he's getting this dropped in his lap?
[Okay, all right, quit freaking out. You've handled situations way scarier than the idea of a friend liking you as more than a friend. That sort of thing really shouldn't be scary at all! Rubbing his forehead, Lea takes a deep breath to steady his nerves a bit, then meets Riku's eye.]
I guess I just... don't quite understand. [His words are kind of halting, like he's forgotten how to pronounce them.] I have a hard time understanding why people put up with me half the time, so this just... [He makes an odd gesture, akin to an explosion pantomime with one hand near his temple. Mind. Blown.] I don't even like me that much.
[kjhdsfks Oh. He's not sure he meant to say that part.]
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Other people do.
They say you can't see your own traits, that you're your own worst critic. You're trying, and that's... a lot more than most people do, Lea.
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Sit.
[Riku hesitates, and Lea gives him a helpless look.]
Please? [He wants to figure this out, he wants to understand, to at least come to something, but he doesn't trust his legs right now, and it's uncomfortable with Riku looming. Even if he's less looming and more just standing and being kind of tall at the same time.
[Riku finally deigns to sit down, and Lea presses his fingertips together contemplatively, elbows resting on his knees.] Trying. [He makes it sound so simple.] There's gotta be more to it than that. [He's not looking for validation or compliments; he wants to look Riku in the eye and know this isn't just a half-baked romantic ideal or something. Lea's read enough bad romance novels to know that he's a type: he's kind of mysterious and has a fairly sizable rap sheet, as it were. He doesn't think Riku's the sort to be drawn to a Bad Boy archetype any more than he himself really fits the mold at more than a glance, but he wants to know what Riku's basing this on.]
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about two hours later
[After what was arguably the most awkward conversation he's ever had with his best friend, Lea had just stared at the ceiling in his room for a while. He certainly didn't want to ever lose his heart again, now that he'd gotten it back, but jeez things had been so much simpler when he could tell himself he just didn't have any feelings, and so he obviously couldn't return anyone's.
[But he's reached a decision. He isn't sure it's the right one, but he rarely is. Running his thumb over the top of Dusk's head, Lea fumbles with his tablet a moment.]
Hey, you still up?
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lea's name hits the breath right out of his lungs, and for a moment, he's just dizzy.
Yeah. Why?
well, he's not surprised it didn't take that long for lea to come to his senses... ]
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[ it seems weird that lea wouldn't just... say what he needed to over text, but riku's obliging anyhow. he gets to the observatory in just a few minutes, walking briskly. ]
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Wanna know something interesting about stars? [He glances over his shoulder at Riku, a faint smile on his face, but doesn't bother waiting for permission to continue.] The light we see is already hundreds of thousands of years old. A lot of these stars have probably already disappeared, but because the light has to travel so far to get to us, we can still see it even after they're gone.
[He shifts where he stands, leaning against the glass and looking contemplative.]
When I learned that, I told myself I wanted to be like those stars: I wanted people to still see me even after I'd faded away, to remember me long after I was gone. [He chuckles.] Kinda cheesy, I know.
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You're making good time on that goal.
[ he shrugs slightly. ]
Even after you disappeared, a lot of people still thought of you, back home and here. Maybe that's cliche, but sometimes it comes through.
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[He folds his arms.]
And I was thinking... I mean, who'sever heard of just one star, right? Sky's full of 'em, you can't look up at night and only see just one. [Probably still being too vague.
[He hefts a sigh and slides down the glass to sit with his knees drawn up, arms draped over them.]
You know, something occurred to me. [He looks up at him.] I legitimately have no idea how to do this. [A wave of one hand and a heaviness settles on his shoulders.] I mean, this is like asking a guy who just got out of a ten-year stint in prison to go be friendly and social; this heart? Ain't been used in a long time.
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he's sobering quick, and he frowns, looking down at his feet. ]
I told you, you don't have to reply. I thought this'd be difficult for you. I'm trying to help.
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I'm... gonna need the help. So you've gotta be ready to deal with that.
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Okay? [ blink. ] I wasn't planning on completely abandoning you. I've still got to train you. If you want help with that... I guess I can help.
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Riku. [He holds up one hand in a fist.] This is the point. [Aaaaand the other hand is now an airplane, complete with a whooshing sound as it veers off in the complete opposite direction.] And that was you.
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You say that a lot. Get a new catchphrase, got it memorized?
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