exsiliumlogs | Healthy Relationships: A Primer [CLOSED]

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Healthy Relationships: A Primer [CLOSED]

Date & Time: December 2nd, 3:00 am
Location: Outside... the hold...
Characters: Kanaya Maryam + Roslyn Small
Summary: A young woman sits outside a young man's bedroom. A grown woman finds her.
Warnings: Unauthorized... observational... activities...

So here Kanaya is, where she spends every night: Sitting on the windowsill opposite a certain window of apartment 206. A light goes off; has she waited long enough to be rewarded yet? It seems likely; she moves to bring herself closer to the riskier area directly visible from the window...

It's easy to move smoothly here - in her nature, though she only wishes this were during the infinitely more romantic sunny day. With gloves on her hands and a long skirt, she'd like to think that with only her face exposed, she could easily be mistaken from below for a bright light. Which she technically is! And thus far, she's never even been caught at this once.

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[ Roslyn was trying to avoid staying out drinking as late as she had been for multiple reasons, among them the fact that she had a job now and it wouldn't do to show up to that hungover.

But that didn't mean she always succeeded. Some nights it was just far easier to not go home for a while, get one more drink. She'd done all right at cutting herself off tonight, but not so well at the getting home in time to get enough sleep for work. Oh well.

But that does mean here she is, too, happening to glance up at Eridan's window as she passes, and then casually around and noticing what looks like a bright light directly opposite. With a human-ish shape attached. She stopped and watched steadily, waiting for any sign of movement or something that would tell her what was going on here. ]

[So a person was passing by. That... didn't happen very often. The fact that they (she? It seemed likeliest) had stopped was also very disconcerting. She did her best to go as still as possible, and glow slightly less brightly, though even with all her effort focused on the task she could barely dim herself to less than a cluster of soft sparkles. The important thing, she rationalized, was simply not to move. Look like a lamp. Yes. Plausible. A lamp left on at three in the morning.]

[ Looking like a lamp was really not going to be an effective means of anything, because Roslyn was watching more closely now, and she'd only been mildly tipsy before the cold took that straight out of her. ]

Hello. [ Trusting to the stillness of the night to let her voice carry. ]

[There's no way Kanaya couldn't hear that, and it's equally unlikely that she hasn't been recognized. If only she could turn this glow off... but no. That was, of course, impossible.

She actually considered for a moment calling back "There's nobody here, go home", but then she recognizes that voice and oh no there is no deceiving this woman--]

Roslyn?!

[At this, with no particular aplomb, she falls off her delicate perch to the ground below. It's just one story though. She'll be fine.]

[ For a moment she thought she must actually be drunk after all, because what else would explain Kanaya falling out of the sky, still glowing, and -

That was Eridan's window, just across the way. She'd never actually been to visit him at his place, but she knew which apartment he was in and that was it, just across the way. Her eyes narrowed just a little. She was less concerned about Kanaya than she had been at first, but her concerns hadn't entirely been assauged. ]

What are you doing? [ Once she's sure the fall hasn't hurt her, crossing her arms. ]

Well, [she says as she eases herself to a sitting position, rubbing her limbs in the process: she is in pain, just nothing that will cause her lasting harm] I've fallen, and now I'm getting up. [Always delay the question, especially when dealing with people who have to sleep (i.e. everyone). It was imperative that as few people as possible know.]

[ The beginnings of a frown creep onto her face. No, that wasn't an answer she found acceptable. And don't worry, Kanaya, she can avoid sleep for a while yet. ]

And before that?

[Blast it. There is no outsmarting this woman. Noooooone.]

Um... Uhmmmmmm...

You're not... going to like this...

No, I can imagine not.

Continue. [ Crisp and cool, because she really is coming rapidly to the conclusion she isn't going to like this. ]

I... I-I...

I was watching Eridan sleep. There. I said it.

[She has turned away, like a tsundere.]

Why?

[ Just the one word, hard and sharp. That was definitely not an acceptable answer. ]

I--

Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, when he posted to the network clearly intoxicated.

Yes.

[ Her arms folded. Keep going, uh huh. ]

He had imbibed sopor slime. It is a highly toxic substance meant to aid troll sleep - when applied to the skin. It isn't meant for oral consumpion.

[She's just got to power thrugh.] If I hadn't seen him and saved him, he might have died.

And how did you save him?

[Entirely straight-faced:]

I burst in through the respiteblock wall and dragged him out.

[Beat.] I paid for the wall to get fixed, later.

And how did you stop the poison?

He hadn't taken a lethal dose yet.

So you're just keeping an eye out for him.

[She perks up - she hadn't expected Roslyn to understand that quickly.]

Yes!! That is exactly what I am doing.

Why? Why do you care?

[ Because seriously. Seriously, here. ]

He's one of the only other members of my species left alive, Roslyn. And -- and he's my friend - all of us trolls played a game together and more, there were multiple matters of life and death. And he is a danger to himself and others. And I care about him.

[Her fingers cross on both hands, which are visibly flickering - she has a sick feeling in the back of her throat about what Roslyn is about to say next. Please, please, please don't, she is thinking.]

[ The only other members of her species gives Roslyn pause for a moment, considering. She doesn't think she'd heard that one before, from any of the various trolls. She certainly does seem to care about him - which begs the question of why at least one version of her then kills him. (Kills him. It doesn't settle easily on Roslyn's stomach.) ]

And yet I've been informed you kill him.

[And just like that, Kanaya isn't sitting on the ground with her hands neatly planted like a little troll girl anymore. There is no more shy flickering or turning her head or dancing around questions. No, she is on her feet and pulsing with anger, not to mention making even less effort to restrain her voice in consideration of the late hour.]

Is he still telling people that?

Edited (They're outdoors and not on a floor oh no) 2012-12-11 20:56 (UTC)

[ And that's the reaction of someone it suddenly becomes a little easier to imagine killing someone else. Interesting. ]

I wouldn't know. I received my information when you first arrived.

That makes you angry.

It makes me very angry!

[She stamps her foot, realizes how childish she's sounding, takes a deep breath, and then charges forward.]

Look. By his own admission and preference - ask Eridan about any one of his alternates and I will guarantee you he will disavow any connection between them. Likewise the events you refer to were in another timeline - another universe entirely - and I was not the Kanaya Maryam involved. I am not her and she is not me. I [she places her hand over her heart here] could never do that to him.

I think of you as someone who values the truth, Roslyn. Ordinarily when this topic comes up I try to employ more courteous cues like misdirection. But this is the truth, as fully as I've been secondprong informed, of what happened to that girl. Who again, I am not.

When we left our universe, there were twelve trolls left alive in it. Ignore Meenah. She's from the past or something and an irrelevant stranger. Twelve trolls. Everyone else is out of the picture - ask any of the eight left alive and we'll all tell you the same story. It's not as important that you believe it as that you at least accept only the twelve of us were of concern.

Eridan turns around and tries to kill his rival - Sollux Captor. You may know him. Yellow blooded troll. Then he kills that troll's matesprit, Feferi Peixes, the fuchsia blooded troll. Then he tries to kill the resident jadeblooded troll - alternate me. But like I have, she comes back from the dead. Only after that does she end his life.

I arrive in Exsilium; I know nothing about this situation. I remember before the entire drama I just described hit the whirling device, we were friends. In fact [a hitch in her breath, an increase in drama] I remember us being more than friends. I told you how I came to Exsilium from an asylum. What I didn't mention at the time was that an alternate of Eridan was there with me, and we - were troll dating, you wouldn't understand, there was a third person involved and she certainly didn't understand. And actually accused me of calling her lesbian for wanting to involve her when I'm one and that didn't mean I didn't want to be involved with Eridan. I shouldn't have told you that. Apparently on Earth it's not actually very normal to be a lesbian, so I don't really know why they made up a whole human word for the phenomenon. And this is all entirely irrelevant to me and Eridan.

The point is that alternate Eridan was in love with me, and then he died, and that was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. And the third party - I don't even want to talk about her. Suffice it to say that after that virtually nothing good happened to me until I came to Exsilium.

And I find out Eridan is alive here. I'm happy to see him. I greet him as a friend. But - assuming I know about his crimes and want to avenge them - he initially has nothing to do with me, eventually accusing me of having killed him. The other trolls treat the fact that he got cut in half as a joke. The whole truth comes out piecemeal.

I try to work past this. I want to be friends with him again. Like we were before everything involving interdimensional grubnapping happened at least, if nothing else. I remember what thinking I would never see him again was like and tell myself at least this isn't that. I help him at every opportunity. I save his life. And he insults me, doesn't answer my calls, refuses to see me, pushes me away, has to be cajoled into even accepting gifts. It is after weeks of this that he gives me permission not to hate him.

And I have still stood by him when every other troll will deplore his character until the moodemons come home. I am so - so pale for him and you could not know what that even means, to feel like that, to love someone so purely who acts like he wishes you never came back from the dead and when everyone else undead or alive is telling you not to.

[She stops and then finishes in a smaller voice.] I keep thinking about whether I should gave up. Maybe I should just call my work done for now.

[ She listens to the entire thing entirely impassively, no indication of any emotions on her face. A long pause passes after Kanaya finishes before she says anything. ]

It's not uncommon to be a lesbian.

I think you harbor an unhealthy level of obsession about the entire state of affairs.

[Kanaya realizes just how short the list of things she wanted to hear is. Unsurprisingly, that was not on it.]

People have told me that. Both of those things, actually.

But you have not taken their advice on the second one.

[She thinks for a little while on how to rationalize this.]

I can't just go back to thinking of him as dead. They wouldn't enjoy the results of that. I don't know what else to do.

Forget him. [ A shrug. ] Do your best to, at least. Live your own life. Unlife. That's all that can be done.

[This is a logical, if not palatable idea.]

Why should I have to instead of everyone else he's ever known. Why me.

Because you're the one letting it affect your life to the point that you're stalking him.

...That's a strong word...

Is it really?

...No...

I'll. Think about it. What you said.

I should go home.

Edited 2012-12-18 22:35 (UTC)

I hope you do. Thoroughly.

[ just folding her arms a little, waiting. ]

Have a safe trip.

Bye...

[She seems thoroughly cowed at this point. With her eyes downcast, she waves one hand in a small motion, and then turns on her heel and walks away. At first she is very slow about it, like you might expect from a deeply depressed teenage girl. Then when she's put about six feet between herself and Roslyn, she slips into her (super)natural speed, disappearing into the building within seconds.]

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Healthy Relationships: A Primer [CLOSED]

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