merry christmas equius!!!

[caligulas_aquarium]

Date: idk december 30th maybe christmas spirit y'all
Location: The Ampora-Zahhak-Captor residence.
Characters: Eridan and Equius.
Summary: Eridan got Equius a Christmas present isn't that thoughtful!!!!!! jk its awful
Warnings: tw: Equius Zahhak

[So, after he found out about this whole Christmas thing, he decided to mess around a little. After all he hasn't had any fun in a while and you know who he hasn't bothered in a while either? His slightly less revolting roommate. So a quick trip to the wastes he managed to find a bird loud, annoying and mutant enough to shove into Equius' room while the guy was gone, then all he had to do was wait.

Eventually, though, he hears the loud irritated shrieking of the gift he gave(or maybe it was an angry Equius, who knows) and goes off to see how things are in Equius' room.]

Comments

[musclebeast]

We're TROLLS. We don't give each other gifts unless it's to celebrate the fact that we haven't been culled yet. [He pulls his hand from the wall, further tearing it, blue dripping here and there before he moves to quickly shut his door because that bird is making it simply impossible to think right now.]

Ampora... [He heaves, bowing his head a little, that grind of his teeth loud and gut churning.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Zahhak.

[Playing the fool is just so. much. fun.

Keep on shinin' you crazy diamond.

Literally.

You're fucking insane.]

[musclebeast]

[Yes, insane, wait no- he's just mad! Okay! He just- He's a very mad person and Eridan seems to know how to bring that out of him easily, granted, not the safest way of pissing him off. Since now Equius is whipping out a hand to grab the front of Eridan's shirt and scarf and lift him up.]

[Now, he COULD say something more threatening here, but really? He's too mad to think of anything, and there's a lot of thinking about using Eridan as a wrecking ball to that wall he punched earlier.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[OK.

He's only one step away from actually freaking out.

If this doesn't work he will react appropriately, but for now-]

Whoa, forward, aren't we?

Don't worry, I won't tell Sol'. It'd be downright scandalous a' me, an' think a' the rumors that'd spread an' all.

[musclebeast]

[ . . . ]

[Mmm, no sorry, what was that? Not the words-

that crunch sound? I do hope that was the wall and not your spine when he slams Eridan up against the wall and holds him there.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[OH...

OK...

UM...OUCH...]

Hey, hey, easy there...it was just a joke. Fuck.

[musclebeast]

[A growl, slowly leaning in and clenching his hand tighter as his other pulls back, holding a fist there.]

I don't enjoy jokes.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Well I can see that...

[Clears his throat a little, straightens his glasses...]

I don't giwe a fuck about any a' this Christmas shit, I just-

Whatewer.

Put me down.

[musclebeast]

I'm finding myself uninterested in your alluring yet pointless command.

I suggest a please, sir. Before I ruin that face you spend so much time on. [A growl, pulled back hand curling harder, getting ready to hit him but trying very very hard to hold back...]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[OH GOD...]

Whoa, sorry, who was the one not a moment ago who was talkin' about foregoin' alternian traditions bein' a shitty thing to do an' right now is tryin' to disobey the hemospectrum?

Do you listen to yourself?

[musclebeast]

I'm obeying the terms of a traditional rivalry between seadwellers and land walkers. [His words are growled, still trying not to actually... kill Eridan. But it's getting harder and harder to hold himself back...]

But please sir, I would advise you to politely ask to get down, or I may be forced to make this more- [A shudder.] Pressing.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[HOW ABOUT HE POLITELY SHOOTS YOU THROUGH YOUR STUPID FACE...god...]

...

Put me down.

[He didn't curse, does that count...]

[musclebeast]

[No just-

let him stare at you right now.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Look.

I am tryin'-trying to ask in the least me sor-...the way least like how I usually speak, without cursin'-g, asking you to put. me. down.

As nicely. As I can.

[musclebeast]

[Well he's certainly not punching you right now. But he's still also not letting you down, and still kind of staring at you.]

[Because gosh he's just, so worked up right now, and Eridan manages to get him so worked up so easily-]

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

[HE WANTS TO RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THE OPTICAL NERVES

GOD]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Except he's still trying to stay in control of this situation.]

Equius. C'mon.

[musclebeast]

Nngh-! [A gasp, moving to throw Eridan away and down the hall.]

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

[Landing with a thump, he spends a moment thinking about how much he loathes you Equius.

How one day he'll probably straight up murder you for disrespecting him like this.

But today is not this day.

He gets up and walks away.

Because...]

not here

[caligulas_aquarium]

[CAUSE THAT BIRD'S STILL IN YOUR ROOM

CHECK IT YO

AMPORA 1 ZAHHAK 0]

[musclebeast]

[It will NOT BE QUIET.]