[This can't be happening. Every conversation he has just makes things worse and worse. First they tell him he's dead, then that it wasn't quick. Now that he's gone to hell. What's next? He's as ok as can be Dean said. Does that mean he's insane? Drooling in some mental hospital, wearing a diaper and screaming his lungs out? Is that the future he's supposed to work to come home to, work to save?
It's not fair. He doesn't care that it's an immature thought. It's not. Fair. He's given so much already - him, dad, Dean - they dedicated their lives. He lost Jess to this fight. And now he must also lose himself?
Hell. He's always tried to do his best, to be a good person and this is the reward God set out for him? Hell?
Now it all made sense, why Dean freaked out so badly when he found out about the devil. Heck, he'd have a meltdown in his brother's shoes.
He's not sure he's not having a meltdown right now.
What were the signs for a heartattack again? His left arm is supposed to hurt, doesn't it? Does it hurt? He can't tell. He reaches for it, trying to squeeze it, to get some sort of a reaction, but he senses nothing. His whole body seemed to have gone numb.
When he finally looks up at his brother, he looks more like the 12 year old he turned into not too long ago, the one who looked up to his brother and counted on him to make everything right. The one who believed in him as a child does in a superhero.]
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It's not fair. He doesn't care that it's an immature thought. It's not. Fair. He's given so much already - him, dad, Dean - they dedicated their lives. He lost Jess to this fight. And now he must also lose himself?
Hell. He's always tried to do his best, to be a good person and this is the reward God set out for him? Hell?
Now it all made sense, why Dean freaked out so badly when he found out about the devil. Heck, he'd have a meltdown in his brother's shoes.
He's not sure he's not having a meltdown right now.
What were the signs for a heartattack again? His left arm is supposed to hurt, doesn't it? Does it hurt? He can't tell. He reaches for it, trying to squeeze it, to get some sort of a reaction, but he senses nothing. His whole body seemed to have gone numb.
When he finally looks up at his brother, he looks more like the 12 year old he turned into not too long ago, the one who looked up to his brother and counted on him to make everything right. The one who believed in him as a child does in a superhero.]
At least tell me it was worth it.