(no subject)

[whomheloved]

Date & Time: 5th April, evening
Location: Disciple's apartment
Characters: Disciple, Helmsman and Nepeta
Summary: Disciple wants to introduce her descendant to her best-friend-who-doesn't-remember-he-is.
Warnings: None, I think!

"I'm really glad you said you'd meet her!" Di babbles at the Helmsman, clearly excited and a bit nervous over the meeting which was about to take place. When he'd been going to meet Sollux she'd been more worried about how the younger yellowblood would act, but with Nepeta at least she felt reassured that she'd be kind and friendly towards the Helmsman.

She just hopes it won't be too awkward. When she'd first told her descendant about her dear friend and what had been done to him she'd done her best to explain how he was now, and not to expect so very much in the way of friendliness perhaps. That his appearance would scare her is another concern, but then again Disciple has such a high opinion of her young descendant that she feels sure she'll rise to the occasion.

All she wants is for them to get along, and that maybe Psii, what little or a lot remained of him inside the Helmsman, would see how proud she is of Nepeta, and how much it means to Disciple for him to get to know her.

Comments

[whomheloved]

That gets a nod and a small, tender smile from Di. She looks lost in thought for a moment. "Hearts bound together. It suits." One more, another club, but she's paying more attention to him than to the game now. "That's right. The ones I left behind... I miss them a lot, Helmsman. All of them."

[maiinframe]

The Helmsman lays down another card, a diamond, before answering. "There were many that user Disciple misseth?"

[whomheloved]

"Three," she says, looking down at the diamond for a moment, reaching out to tap it gently with a finger. "A guardian. My beloved. And a best friend."

[maiinframe]

The Helmsman waits patiently for her to lay down another card. When she doesn't, he reasons that she wants him to ask her more questions. "Query: what were user Disciple'th guardian, beloved, and best friend like?"

[whomheloved]

The next card is finally set down; she smiles when she sees it's another club. "Dolorosa would look after us. She was the sensible one, taking care of things, our clothes, cooking our food, being there for us if we were miserable or down. She'd step in if we fought and mediate for us. We could never be angry at each other long with her around."

[maiinframe]

The Helmsman listens quietly to this; there's an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of his stomach, something he can't quite place. A more sensitive soul would recognize it as melancholy tinged with nostalgia, but he doesn't have the capacity to understand that and instead just assumes he's feeling poorly because of the soup Disciple forced down his throat.

He lays down another card, and this one is the seven of hearts. "Symbol for matespritth," he says quietly, half-hoping that will spurn Disciple into talking about her beloved.

[whomheloved]

"That's right. Matesprits." She closes her eyes, pressing one hand to her chest. "Signless. We'd describe ourselves as matesprits to others sometimes, if they couldn't understand, but...it was so much more than just that."

A flutter of her eyelashes and she's looking at him again, wistful. "His presence would light up the darkest space for me, and his voice could reassure any fear, any doubt that I might have. He was so warm, having him hold me felt like being surrounded by a blaze sometimes, but a blaze that kept everything else out, kept me warm and safe."

[maiinframe]

As she speaks, the Helmsman's expression slowly changes. If he could see it himself, he'd be shocked; for the first time since arriving in Exsilium, he actually looks like a troll and not a shell-shocked, wasted helmsman system. No machine ever looked that wistful, or that needy. He floats a tiny bit closer, leaning in to capture her every word.

Later, he'll argue that it was because he doesn't have any records on the Signless, and he was merely recording this information for when he's returned to the Empire. He'll never admit that hearing about him was like a cool drink of water in the desert, or like the hull cracking in the Battleship and giving him a glimpse of the sky.

"Pleathe..." Please what? "Pleathe... tell system more."

[whomheloved]

Unlike the Helmsman, Di can see the change in his expression, and it wrenches at her heart in the most painful way possible. She'd kept Signless' words faithfully in the hopes of passing them on to other trolls, giving them a way of knowing him even if he couldn't be there himself...

She never thought she'd be performing the same task for his dearest friend.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the Empire, I fear no evil, for you are with me. Your presence shall be my comfort always." His words, spoken to them so very often.

goddammit, I can't remember how the rest of this goes!

[maiinframe]

The Helmsman blinks slowly, but there's no recognition in his eyes. The familiar words go in one ear and out the other, and he waits for her to say more. He wants to hear more about this Signless fellow, not have her recite arcane poetry at him.

I made half the first part up anyway XD

[whomheloved]

Di sighs. Well, at least it had been worth a try.

"Those are his words, something he liked to repeat. To remind us all that no matter what, we aren't alone. I wish you could meet him, Helmsman. He has a kind word for everyone, always gives his time to anyone who might want it, no matter how tired he is. He's the kindest person I have ever met, the warmest..."

in Languish or CWP or somewhere, we had a complete Lord's Prayer for trolls!

[maiinframe]

The Helmsman keeps listening, the words sinking in. There's a subtle change to his body language, almost like he's... like he's relaxing, like he's forgetting the biowires implanted into his nerves and tissues and letting his body rest for the first time in lifetimes. It's almost like he's there and present in his body for the first time, instead of it being a sack of meat he drags around with him.

Almost.

"And the best friend?"

OH. that's right! we need to find it mO.Om

[whomheloved]

A grin tugs at her lips. "Oh, him. He was a complete and utter pain in the nook! He was brilliant and either entirely too sure of himself or else certain that he was a complete and utter failure. He used to drive me mad."

She sighs, looking at him fondly. "But he was loyal, and so caring in his own way. He'd always be there for me when I needed it. We helped each other to be better trolls, and if there was one thing we always agreed about, it was looking after Signless."

[maiinframe]

Okay, the best friend character is boring, and the Helmsman dismisses him. "What happened to user Disciple'th friendth?"

They obviously aren't here.

[whomheloved]

Dammit, these aren't characters in a book, Helmsman! She is not sure why he's just passing over the description of himself - she's pretty sure she doesn't want to know why, actually. She puts it down to him being just as contrary as Psii himself in his own way.

Sometimes, one of the worst parts of him being a Helmsman is that she cannot just relieve her feelings by pouncing or punching him the way she used to. It's sad.

"They're still on Alternia, I suppose - in my time, at least. They weren't...weren't brought here along with me." It's true enough, after all.

[maiinframe]

The Helmsman would not respond well to being punched or pounced on, it's true. Unless Disciple wants to find out what it's like getting flung through the wall with psionics, she would do well to not do either.

The Helmsman takes a moment to comb through his databanks again, and is unable to find what he's looking for. "Query: userth Disciple, Dolorotha, Signlesth, and best friend are not in system'th databankth. System hath recordth of every troll who hath ever lived. Why are thethe trollth not found?"

[whomheloved]

It is more because she would feel bad. But not getting turned into minced cat troll is also a good reason not to.

"I...I don't know, Helmsman. I think they might have had us all erased from your memory." It takes a good deal of control not to let the tears fall at that, and even then it's only because she closes her eyes tight for a moment.

[maiinframe]

"Why would userth be erased?" That makes no sense, he has a record of everyone!

[whomheloved]

"They...wouldn't have wanted you to know about us. I don't know if I can explain it in any way that will make sense to you. I'm sorry." She wants to explain more than that, she really does. She...just doesn't think it will do much good.

[maiinframe]

"System ith the most advanced helmsman system in all of Alternia." Sounds like bullshit to him.

The Helmsman lays down another card, a diamon this time. "Symbol for moirallegianthe," he tells her, a little testily.

[whomheloved]

"You are. And they wouldn't want to jeopardize that, would they? They wouldn't...wouldn't allow you memories that interfere with your functioning."

She doesn't want to play anymore, but she doesn't want to cut him off either. She's already pretty sure he's getting into one of his moods. "Moirallegiance. Trolls fated to meet. Fated to be able to trust each other with anything, protect each other through anything..."

Her voice lowers, to the point where it's likely hard to catch. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't."

[maiinframe]

With his technological superiority acknowledged, the Helmsman's mood clears up. He's pretty sure her idea that he has memories that might interfere with his functioning is complete nonsense, but then, Disciple hasn't exactly proven herself adept with computers or technology, so that's to be expected.

He blinks, once, as her last comment. "Why? What happened?"

[whomheloved]

"I don't know," she replies, her eyes fixed on the diamond on the uppermost card. "Not really. It hasn't happened for me yet. But...I know that things went terribly, horribly wrong somehow. I...I promised someone I'd cull him before allowing them to take him alive. But apparently I couldn't even do that much right."

[maiinframe]

"Wath it user Signlesth?" This is the Helmsman's gentle way of prodding her, trying to get her to tell him more about Signless.

[whomheloved]

"No. I don't think I could hurt Signless even if he asked me to..." Di has to admit. "I just...I couldn't. I love him so much, and he's so gentle. Pain is the last thing he deserves." She pauses, having caught on to what the Helmsman is doing. "Would you like to see a picture of him?"