leaving flowers on your grave [open]

[mostqualified]

Date & Time: after the mission, May 1st
Location: training center
Characters: pepper [mostqualified] & OPEN
Summary: time to start getting a handle on this weapon thing
Warnings: none for now


[ She's been there before--a total of approximately nine hours the entire month she's been in Exsilium, mandatory training not so much helpful as it's been frustrating. She's still no closer to understanding the function of this particular "weapon" of hers, how it's supposed to help her do something she doesn't want to do in the first place, and whichever instructor they give her always seems to carry the same message with them when she's there: accept your responsibility in this.

Pepper has many of those already, and she's not entirely certain she needs to accept more on behalf of a place, a time she doesn't belong in. Fighting for what? To change something none of the Transports had been a part of? There's a time for everything, situated perfectly so that order remains, and Exsilium lacks most of that in large detail. She'd have given the Initiative a piece of her mind had she thought it'd help, but for now, she's stuck there with her tablet and still just as voiceless as she'd been the very first day she'd arrived.

Rather than wait until the next required session, she's in one of the rooms and looking around, upset with herself and this gap she can't cross no matter how much effort goes into it. What else is there to know?

Time travel, fight, alter, shift, and shape a different outcome. Pepper's told herself countless times that she's accepted this as her life now, that this need greatly outweighs that of any personal distaste for something so counterproductive as war. Yet, there's nothing. No matter how many times she tries to say it, no matter how long she works her muscles and her mouth to form the words, she's left with nothing. Maybe she needs a reason, though there's only one, but she hasn't considered it yet.

Right now, she's alone in one of the many training areas looking out of place and ready to cry. ]

Comments

[speakveryclearly]

[Kanaya glances down at the words, briefly at the woman, then down at the woman's tablet again. Two and two are put together to make four fairly quickly: The woman is unwilling, and quite possibly outright unable, to speak. It's something she didn't expect at all - for there to be such disabled transports within the Initiative's ranks. Unfortunately for Pepper, the several subsequent logical leaps (she wasn't born this way, her weapon was her voice, that's what she can't use, it's not missing per se) entirely evade her and keep her from making out of four and four the sum of eight. Thus she's stuck with the assumption that this woman's weapon is some kind of malfunctioning concrete object. At the same time the text makes her think of something else.]

Oh--actually, wait--[She takes out her own tablet.] We can communicate this way much more quickly... [She isn't just doing this as some kind of condescension to the melancholy mute maiden. Kanaya's entire childhood is made of instant messages to her friends; the habit hasn't gotten better since she's entered Exsilium, only more pathological in its continued manifestation. The closest member of her species lives on the other side of the wall from her - and there's a not-so-secret passage between them - and they still sometimes go entire days communicating only through their tablets.]

[mostqualified]

[ Her nose scrunches a bit until it's clear she means to text her back the same way she's texting now, and it's almost relieving in a way. At least she won't have to show her the screen. ]

If it's not a problem. [ Because it does seem a little inconvenient. ] Do you know a lot about them? The weapons.

[speakveryclearly]

Its Perfectly Fine [See? Texting for her is a well-worn glove to the point that she has a distinctive style. It helps when this medium is all you have to communicate - distinguishes your line's from the other party's. And now that she's receiving the messages instead of just viewing them, they can see each other's network IDs - Pepper Potts. Huh. Alliterative. She doesn't hear that in humans a lot. It should be a mark of high status.

As she continues to type, she leans against a nearby wall, becomes more focused on her own screen, and stops actually trying to look at the person nearby her. Someone passing by might almost assume Kanaya just happened to stop here to check her tablet, independent of Pepper entirely.]

A Lot Is A Relative Term
I Feel That The Amount I Have Learned Isnt Very Significant
But A Large Portion Of The Transport Population Is Content To Have Chosen A Rather Conventional Object And Not Needed To Obtain Any Knowledge At All
So Yes Would Probably Be A Less Misleading Answer To Your Question Than No

[mostqualified]

[ Half way through, she's doesn't know what to do with herself since there's no need to look at Kanaya given that the conversation has moved to their tablet and Kanaya herself isn't paying attention to her now. Mannerisms are much more useful with verbal communication, so it's not as if she needs to look at her. Right?

There's a silent sigh, and Pepper begins sorting through the texts. ]

So there wouldn't be any need to ask about them, right? [ Or that's what she assumes. It's not as if she couldn't ask Tony about any of this either, but she's determined to fix this on her own. Maybe even surprise him. ] I've also been told it's possible to change weapons, but I haven't pursued that option yet. I would really like to understand why the one I've chosen isn't doing anything.

[speakveryclearly]

[Kanaya doesn't even particularly notice Pepper sighing. She continues to remain absorbed in typing. It's taking a while for it to sink in to her that some humans, especially adults, consider text intrinsically impersonal, and thus far she isn't picking up that social cue here.]

Malfunctioning Weapons Are Pretty Much The Furthest Thing From My Area Of Expertise Unfortunately
I Was Melee Before I Came Here And I Still Have That Weapon With Me
But I Didnt Think It Had Much Evolutionary Potential So I Decided To Accept A Ranged Weapon From The Armory To Increase My Capabilities
Any Problems Ive Had Because Of That Can Be Attributed Only To My Initial Inexperience

[mostqualified]

Inexperience? [ She adds another line of question marks just after that text, and it's rather clear that she seems upset with this information. ] I could be the problem then. Not the weapon.

[ Statement (and fact) over question. Pepper's been hearing that so much lately, in the training sessions at least, that it's slowly starting to sink in, and now, she's back to the same predicament as before. ] I've done everything I know to do, and none of it's working.

[speakveryclearly]

Maybe
I Had Never Fired A Gun Before
So Of Course At First I Was Incompetent Just As I Would Be If I Had Been Given An Ordinary Ranged Weapon

[Kanaya takes a tube of eyeshadow out of her pocket - the same that paints her eyes the bright jade green of her lips - and after a small movement of her fingers that could be mistaken for twisting off the cap, it turns into a gun. She hands it over to Pepper, looking at her for the first time since they started texting in earnest, to see if she'd like to examine it.]

Like Any Novice With A Firearm At First I Had Almost No Accuracy
It Was After Many Weeks Of Practice That I Could Hit A Target Reliably At All
The Sentience Helped In Providing Some Mercy Precision At First
While Evolution Granted More Complex Maneuvers
And After Six Months Of Work Id Like To Think Ive Advanced In My Training
Discovering Such Things As The Beautiful Art Of The Headshot
Thats What Ive Been Concentrating On Lately
Aim Finer Than Just Hitting A Person At All

[mostqualified]

[ Her mouth is open in immediate refusal when she's offered the gun, oh no, that's all right, but Pepper bites at her lip after a second instead, taking the weapon and looking at it as if it's something entirely new to her. In a way, it is. There's no need for her to handle this sort of thing, but to understand her own, she needs to accept it. Somehow.

Carefully, she hands it back. ]

I'm not sure that's my problem. [ Pepper pauses, considering something. ] Sometimes I think all of this is a little silly. Weapons, the fighting. I don't understand how it's entirely necessary, and maybe that's why it won't help me.

[speakveryclearly]

[This is the first text to get a really audible reaction from Kanaya - she outright sporfles, and has to dig her fangs into her lips hard to prevent further laughter from escaping, look down at her keyboard and keep her words pragmatic as possible. She resists this temptation. Pubescence does terrible things to a troll.]

Not Entirely Necessary
Of Course It Isnt
Id Forgotten That Wed Been Conscripted Into Not A War But A Tea Party

I Bet Youre One Of The Ones Who Insists On Knocking Her Enemies Out On The Battlefield Instead Of Killing Them Arent You

[mostqualified]

[ Really, she doesn't understand what's so funny about what she's just said, but the message Kanaya gives her has Pepper raising her eyebrows. ]

I'd prefer not being on a battlefield, thank you. Or killing anyone at all.

[speakveryclearly]

[Humans. The gift that never stops giving. Her lips remain firmly crooked as she continues to text.]

Id Prefer To Be In A Romance Novel
We Cant Always Get What We Want
If Youre Going To Combine Both Of Those Preferences Into A Single Course Of Action Thats Fine Perhaps
If Youre Going To Exercise The Second Independent Of An Obligation To Suppress The First However
Thats Not Going To End Well For Anybody

[mostqualified]

So you think I should accept that I might have to [ She pauses mid-text and looks down at her feet. It's a horrible thing to acknowledge much less do. ] I don't want to kill anyone.

[speakveryclearly]

Yes That Is Pretty Much Exactly What I Think You Should Do [Her expression is growing more serious and earnest, though she remains focused on her device.]

[mostqualified]

[ She feels the need to reiterate that last part, about not wanting to kill, but her fingers won't cooperate. Instead, she simply sends: ]

How??

[speakveryclearly]

Um... [The grumble leaves her lips as she stare at this message thoughtfully.]

I Dont Know Why Theres Such An Incredibly Strong Taboo On This Deed In Your Culture
When Its Clearly An Integral Part Of Your Culture
But Its Just A War
They Wouldnt Have Become Soldiers If They Werent Aware Their Lives Could Be Lost

[mostqualified]

It's not about that. [ About being taboo necessarily. Pepper understands the risks of war, what they entail for those who choose it. Maybe even for those who do not. ] Not everyone is a soldier, you know.

[speakveryclearly]

[The glow of Kanaya's skin becomes more intense as she gets wrapped up in this.]

Yeah But You Are Now
Isnt That Why Youre Here Trying To Train
Otherwise Youd Be In A Hospital Or Strategy Room Or Another Such Auxiliary Participants Place

[mostqualified]

I [ What does she say to that? It's the truth, a very horrible truth, but the truth nonetheless. Pepper glances up at Kanaya and remains quiet for a while. ] I really hadn't considered that. Maybe I should

[ Her expression is rather sad considering this conversation is the only thing she'd never tried or thought about. Killing. ]

[speakveryclearly]

You Have Strongly Implied That You Dont Consider Yourself A Soldier Or Willing To Kill People

[She's becoming confused as to how Pepper even got to this point. Earth is so weird.]

[mostqualified]

But if that's the only thing I can do... [ Her shoulders lift and sag a bit at the sigh she gives. ] I'm sorry. I need to think about this.

[speakveryclearly]

[She looks over at Pepper with this slightly plaintive expression and touch types her next message.]

If Your Weapons So Far From Functional That Your Capacity Is Seriously In Doubt Along With Your Will
You Could Just Buy An Ordinary Gun Or Something