velveteened: (} lost)
a walking disaster ([personal profile] velveteened) wrote in [community profile] exsiliumlogs 2013-06-15 05:29 pm (UTC)

( somehow, it hurts much worse to hear it said like that than when elliot had grabbed him and shouted it in his face, makes him lower his head with some sense of shame.

you can only call the responsibility of protecting your own life heavy because you make other people carry it.

still, that's not precisely it. )


You don't understand.

( says it lowly, not without bleakness. because he only lost control because of break's death, which had only happened because break had been looking for him; because he'd been careless with the contract despite gil's and before that alice's worries; because your sin is your very existence and you don't belong anywhere and that's not something he can ever ever forget because that only makes things worse. )

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