exsiliumlogs | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Date & Time: 06.18 and on;
Location: Asch's basement, outside, anywhere;
Characters: the Dan, their uncles, anybody else involved?! I am losing track. people. six degrees of separation. tag yourselves!!
Summary: as usual, anti-spam mingle log due to numerous interactions between numerous people. action, voice, text, video, post-its.
Warnings: bombs?!

They thought that trips to Alaska and getting shots would be the beginning of a relaxing break. Instead they got quarantines and bombs and people getting mad at them. Big. Sigh.

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[He shouldn't have made it so tense, not after Shintaro seemed so happy to see him. Shinji looks Shintaro's way.]

... I hope you find her.

... I do too.

[He's nervous. He really hopes he can. He sees Shinji look his way, so he takes a sip of his water and tries to give him a smile.]

[Even if he doesn't feel like it, Shinji tries returning the attempt of a smile with one of his own. Shintaro can't disappear. There are measures here that weren't present in his homeworld that prevented someone from vanishing, no matter how horrible something happened...

He turns his head away, looking back at the ground.]

... Hey.

[He's turned to Shinji still, though the smile is dropped. Just a casual glance, at least from someone like Shintaro.]

[He doesn't look back up, but at least he responds.] Yeah?

[He holds up an arm, the back of his hand facing Shinji. He would be embarrassed to the ends of the world if Shinji doesn't return the gesture, but he's just going to shut his eyes mentally and go in for this wrist bump.]

I'm no optimist. But... it'll probably work out somehow.

[He seems confused by the gesture. After a moment of studying it, he raises his hand and gently places his wrist against Shintaro's. Bump.]

... even if your friend gets into trouble, the Initiative can save her. ['Gets into trouble' being 'dying.']

[Ah, good. He nods and presses back against it gently.]

Mm. I know. But... [he opts not to give the gross details] It's complicated. I want her to stay out of trouble. [He doesn't want to see her die again.]

[Wrist bump complete, he sets his hand down.] She sounds like the type to look for trouble to me.

[Running off and being a hero--that's a sure way to land yourself into unwanted danger and attention.]

She's a busybody. She won't leave you alone when you want her to. She tries to talk to you when you want it to be quiet. She gets excited about everything even if you're not interested. She tries to help you whether you want it or not.

[He lets his voice get gentle. He masks how it wants to get sad.]

But she's a friend. [yesterday, today, and even tomorrow.]

Edited 2013-07-11 09:20 (UTC)

[And like that, he understands.]

... a good friend, even if she's trouble. Right?

Mm.

[A friend. He referred to her as such, but does he really have the right to call her that? To affirm that that is exactly what they are? But... he would like to be. He would like to be her friend. He wants to call her that if she would still like him to be her friend.

If I died here, right now, there would always be someone to take my place.

There were billions of people in that world. The worth of one person had been insignificant. He hadn't cared, and yet...]

... She can't be replaced. I guess that's a way to put it?

[He had friends (a friend?) like that, before everything disappeared with the squeeze of Eva's hand. Shinji understands. And he feels jealous, thinking of how simple Shintaro's friendship with this girl must be, and how important and unique.

Softly, he speaks.]

... you need to be more careful with her, then.

[If only he knew to be two years ago, things might be so different right now. He would have her to lose. He still has her to lose, but it's different. He already knows he's lost her. Still, he picks a piece of gravel out from the sole of his shoe and nods.]

Yeah. This time... at least while I-- she can be here.

... she probably thinks the same for you, too. Don't forget it.

... Maybe. [He has no idea, honestly. Ayano would probably agree, but she was a good liar. Maybe even more than Kano. Shintaro doesn't think he'll ever be able to tell apart her smiles, but he's already said too much. Poor Shinji's already heard more than he should have to.]

Well... in that case, I think I should get going to look for her soon.

[The idea worries him. But Shinji recognizes that, if he was in Shintaro's shoes, if the person missing had been someone like Asuka or Rei--

So he nods after a second of thought, no more protests from him.]

... take care of yourself.

Yeah. I'll be careful.

[He nods as he gets to his feet, putting his hands on his knees. His legs still feel exhausted... but they can keep going.]

You're gonna be down here?

[He nods. There's nowhere else for him to go, anyway. He can't help aboveground, where he'll just be in the way...]

I won't be going anywhere.

[That's good. That's the best. Shintaro doesn't really see Shinji as younger most of the time, but in times like this, when he's telling himself not to be so worried about Momo because she's with Kido -- he can't shake the deja vu he's getting from remembering that day at the mall -- he's reminded but Shinji is actually years younger than him. He wonders if Shinji's as scared as he's not even trying that hard not to be, then shakes it off as a stupid question.]

... You should be okay down there. I'll catch you later, okay?

[He's always been scared. But like a horror movie, once he's been exposed to it again and again, the little things like bombs and gore began to dull and blur into a continuous, fuzzy sensation for him--difficult to distinguish and difficult to be afraid of. There's always that short burst of adrenaline and panic, but he's been trained now like one of Pavlov's dogs to push through pain and terror. To channel that primal instinct into calculating rage and power for the sake of surviving.

He's still scared. But like the soldier he's been forced to be, he's learned to box it away into a small, dark compartment in the back of his mind that remained sealed until those lonely nights alone, when he's allowed to be the child he is again. So when he's asked about how he is, he can keep a still face and answer that he's fine.]

Right. See you later. [A pause.] Come back with your friend soon so we can meet.

[For a moment, he's frozen. He was expecting a simple, short farewell, and he was expecting to turn away from that with a simple, short wave and go on his way toward what was more complicated. But for that one moment, his eyes widen a fraction and he feels dread that he's been trying to ignore ever since that girl showed up in the city.]

... Right.

[Aah. That's right. She's here. People can see her, because she exists now, outside of his memories. And those are the things friends do -- introduce each other. It's that... simple, isn't it?]

You'll be the first person I'll introduce her to. [ever, now that he realizes it.]

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