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exsiliumlogs2013-08-14 11:58 am
moralperil) wrote in exsiliumlogs2013-08-14 11:58 am
Entry tags:
alcohol, your songs resound like my life never will
Date & Time: 8/13/13, evening, two hours after this conversation.
Location: a bar of Jack's choosing
Characters: Mahdi (moralperil) & Jack (allucinator)
Summary: Mahdi's celebrating his one year anniversary in Exsilium. Jack promised Mahdi a drink, Mahdi bumped it up to two.
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNINGS: PTSD episodes, discussion of sexual abuse.
[There's a lot for him to think about, out in the rain. Mahdi tries not to sulk and dwell on being called 'kid', on being treated childishly. In a year here, he's only just recently started to understand this attitude comes from people who want to look out for him. They can't know how impossible a task that is.
It sucks, in a way. He'll probably always be the one who's like a little brother, the treasured friend, the ally and angel but never more than that. These are all great things to be, things Mahdi is happy to be, but he wonders why it seems like the only way to be thought of as an adult is to act cynical and jaded. It seems to him like not letting the world change you is a form of maturity, too, but the sincerity and sweetness he treasures are not valued by all.
Normally, Mahdi doesn't get so reflective, but it has been a year and nearly two weeks since he's arrived. He's been thinking about a lot of things lately, like how it's been over two years since he's seen his family and the last real conversation he had with his sister Fayra was about how he needed to get out more, how he ought to go dancing with her, how he needed to try and have fun and get a date since it's been two years since that last guy, dang it.
(Okay, now it's been more like four.)
But Mahdi hasn't been trying like she'd want him to, even though he has more opportunity here. He rarely goes out at night. He usually stays home, maybe practices some recipes and just goes to bed early.
Maybe he actually finds this place pretty depressing. It's time he stopped, he figured. It's time he took some kind of move in his personal life.
When Mahdi turns up at the bar, he's no longer in the casual-disheveled state he had been when they chatted on the tablets. He's pulled his hair back into a loose braid, and he's wearing a nice blue sweater and trousers. He arrives a few minutes earlier than two hours, so worried he might be late or find the wrong place. He pulls off his yellow raincoat with a shiver, and searches the room for Jack. If he hasn't arrived yet, he'll find a table or something - stools are just too challenging for him.]
Location: a bar of Jack's choosing
Characters: Mahdi (
moralperil) & Jack (allucinator)Summary: Mahdi's celebrating his one year anniversary in Exsilium. Jack promised Mahdi a drink, Mahdi bumped it up to two.
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNINGS: PTSD episodes, discussion of sexual abuse.
[There's a lot for him to think about, out in the rain. Mahdi tries not to sulk and dwell on being called 'kid', on being treated childishly. In a year here, he's only just recently started to understand this attitude comes from people who want to look out for him. They can't know how impossible a task that is.
It sucks, in a way. He'll probably always be the one who's like a little brother, the treasured friend, the ally and angel but never more than that. These are all great things to be, things Mahdi is happy to be, but he wonders why it seems like the only way to be thought of as an adult is to act cynical and jaded. It seems to him like not letting the world change you is a form of maturity, too, but the sincerity and sweetness he treasures are not valued by all.
Normally, Mahdi doesn't get so reflective, but it has been a year and nearly two weeks since he's arrived. He's been thinking about a lot of things lately, like how it's been over two years since he's seen his family and the last real conversation he had with his sister Fayra was about how he needed to get out more, how he ought to go dancing with her, how he needed to try and have fun and get a date since it's been two years since that last guy, dang it.
(Okay, now it's been more like four.)
But Mahdi hasn't been trying like she'd want him to, even though he has more opportunity here. He rarely goes out at night. He usually stays home, maybe practices some recipes and just goes to bed early.
Maybe he actually finds this place pretty depressing. It's time he stopped, he figured. It's time he took some kind of move in his personal life.
When Mahdi turns up at the bar, he's no longer in the casual-disheveled state he had been when they chatted on the tablets. He's pulled his hair back into a loose braid, and he's wearing a nice blue sweater and trousers. He arrives a few minutes earlier than two hours, so worried he might be late or find the wrong place. He pulls off his yellow raincoat with a shiver, and searches the room for Jack. If he hasn't arrived yet, he'll find a table or something - stools are just too challenging for him.]
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[Mahdi keeps his voice warm and quiet, rhythmic with the movement of his fingers.]
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[It's a wonder if Mahdi can even understand most of that mumble.]
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[That's right, go to sleep thinking of happy things. ♥]
I don't know any Irish songs, except Danny Boy... well, a little bit. I know the tune? It's a sad song, though. I don't want to sing you any sad songs.
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I know that song. That's . . . my Ma used to hum that. And others . . .
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[He hums along, and improvises on the tune:]
Go to sleep, Jack, go to sleep you're safe here
I'll look out for you if bad dreams come
You deserve to have a good night's rest, dear
So when you wake up you'll have lots of fun
Think of stars, and dancing, and of your friends
I'm running out of words that I think can rhyme...
Did everyone ever mention English is pretty difficult?
No wonder I mess it up all the time...
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--so Jack finally gives up and falls asleep, snoring only a little, body instinctively curling around Mahdi.]
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(Jack is making such a cute face when he's asleep! Mahdi feels kind of wrong for thinking so. He smooths Jack's hair out of his face, musses it, then smooths it back.)
He carefully maneuvers himself to drink some of his water, and then settles in, laying on his back with his arm around Jack. He admires the pictures on the ceiling, wondering at the stories behind each of them, and drifts in and out of a light sleep.]