[open] out of the blue and into the black

[5055034455]

Date & Time: Throughout August
Location: Around Exsilium
Characters: Saul & TBA
Summary: A catch-all log for Saul's many business etc. meetings throughout the month. Again.
Warnings: N/A; will be updated accordingly.

[The more time Saul spends in Exsilium, the more he realizes he misses Albuquerque. And the more he misses Albuquerque, the more he realizes what he's missing isn't so much ABQ itself, but the idealized version of the city he's constructed in his head over the past four and a half months where nothing mattered but his business and his life and it was all hunky-dory, for the most part.

And then he thinks, shit. Four and a half months. Damn.

Albuquerque was perfect. People came and went, sure, but not at the same rate they do here. Back home, all Saul anticipated on the first of every month was the flipping of a calendar page. (National Geographic's American Landmarks calendar, to be precise. Francesca gets — used to get — him one every year. August would have been a photo of the Alamo at sunset, if he remembers correctly. Ha.) But here — here, each new month brings a horde of unhappy newbies and random disappearances, and there's really only so much doom and gloom Saul can take before it really starts getting to him. He used to be able to track people down. Here? He's helpless.

He misses the sunshine, all 300+ days of it. The Initiative-sponsored trip to the beach was nice, but his tan's already faded and he's pretty sure he's developing some kind of vitamin D problem. He also misses the security of having a boatload of money sitting in his wall. He misses a lot of things. Even the dust storms.

At least he has Jesse. But he can't really cling to Jesse with Walter hanging around, and then there's the problem of Jesse not wanting to be clung to in the first place. Saul can hear that stupid kid's voice in his head just thinking about it: You don't need me, yo. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. Right now, it feels like the former. It hasn't stopped feeling that way since April.

Anyway, here's the weird thing: much as he misses home, Walter's presence has made it crystal clear to Saul that he absolutely does not want to go back to that mess. Not now, maybe not ever. He has a bad feeling, and he likes to think he's a pretty intuitive guy — nine times out of ten, his gut's right. Sometimes it's indigestion. But those are odds you don't mess with, and the chow here is just bland enough that it's much easier on his stomach than all that Mexican food.



Somehow, he got it in his head that the more he does in and for this place, the less likely it is that he'll see the sunshine and his money and his calendar and all that dust again, so he's twice as busy this month as he was last month. Three times, maybe. Training, yes; doing business, yes; fueling up on caffeine, hell yes. But August has the added bonus of new things that need caring for: his kitten. His girlfriend. His stupid-as-shit-in-hindsight idea of forming a Transport-run government.

He'd wonder what he was thinking, but he already knows. Better to burn out than fade away, right?]

Comments

[quackery]

[He has no right to laugh, okay, he caused this!! And as such, she kind of awkwardly hits him on the arm with a wing a few times, though it's stunted since he's still holding her. Super effective.]

Quack!

[5055034455]

[Just give him a minute, Ahiru. Let him get it out of his system. It won't be long before he realizes he has no idea what the hell to do about this situation.



Which is right abouuuuuut... now.]

...you can change back, right?

[quackery]

[She nods, tugging on the clothes in his hands with her beak. Those are sort of important.]

[5055034455]

Wh— here? In the middle of the sidewalk?

[At which point it occurs to him that he's talking to a duck in the middle of the sidewalk and has an arm full of young-lady-clothes.

SO WOW OKAY TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT AND MAYBE MOVE INTO AN ALLEY OR WHATEVER.]

[quackery]

[She wasn't going to do it here she just wanted her clothes okay. Once they're somewhere secluded, she's pulling on them harder.]

Quack!

[5055034455]

Okay, okay! Stop quacking at me! Jesus.

[He sets Ahiru and her clothes down, all gentle-like.]

Why didn't you tell me you could shape-shift? ...don't answer that until you can make words again.

[quackery]

[Yeah, she's just going to stare at him until he turns around.]

[5055034455]

[Point taken.

He doesn't just turn; he turns, walks a few paces away, and covers his eyes.]

[quackery]

[And then she moves so the rain can hit her (because she's somehow been sheltered from it for the purposes of this thread shh shhhh) and, once she changes, immediately puts the clothes on as quickly as she can. She thinks about running for it after she's done, because this is definitely not a conversation she wants to have, but it's going to happen sooner or later no matter what.]

Okay, I'm done.

[5055034455]

[Yeah, running would have been a bad idea, because it's not like part of Saul doesn't feel kind of bad about this whole thing. He turns back around carefully, glancing at Ahiru over his shoulder before fully facing her.]

Welcome back.

[quackery]

[This is the most awkward.]

I, um... I wasn't expecting you to grab me. [Obviously.]

[5055034455]

[Dryly:] And so your default defense mechanism is to turn into a duck.

[quackery]

I didn't mean to, okay, you startled me and it just kind of happened!

[5055034455]

This happens often, then? Or at least whenever you're startled?

[quackery]

Did you hear what I said right before I changed? It happens whenever I say that, and it's saying it is like - a nervous habit, I guess.

[5055034455]

That's all kind of a blur. What'd you say? [Pause. Wait.] Uh, don't say it again if it'll turn you back into a duck. Is that all you can turn into?

[quackery]

Yeah, saying it again would be bad.

[She pauses. She could lie, or omit the truth, but there are already people who know the truth here. Would there really be a point? She doesn't want to deny who she is, anyways.]

That's the only thing, but... [She sighs.] You've got it backwards.

[5055034455]

Backw—?

[...is she a duck.]




So it's not that you're a human who can turn into a duck, it's that you're... a duck that can turn into a human... [He trails off and squints at her, waiting for confirmation.]

[quackery]

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

[She doesn't elaborate further because what does one even say in this situation.]

[5055034455]

Huh.

[Saul sounds a little surprised, but not omg so shocked. He's heard stranger.]

So how much will you hate me if I start making duck jokes? Will it drive you quackers?

[What's amazing is how he says this with a perfectly straight face, like he's asking a completely serious, legitimate question.]

[quackery]

[If only she had that book to shove at him again! All she really does is give him a Look.]

Don't.

[5055034455]

Sorry. That was a pretty foul pun.

[Heh.

He is so impervious to such Looks.]

[quackery]

[And, surprisingly, she actually cracks a smile, because he's so ridiculous and immature and she can't help but think of a conversation almost identical to this she had years ago with someone she still misses sorely.]

You're so weird! Stop it! [But this time it sounds amused more than annoyed.]

[5055034455]

[This is their problem.

This. Right here.

He's trying not to smirk, but it's not really working.]

Waddle you do if I don't?

[quackery]

[She bites back a laugh, her mouth opening in surprise.]

I don't waddle! [Trying her best to sound really offended, okay.]