exsiliumlogs | closed | have you lost the same things I have lost?

Entry tags:

closed | have you lost the same things I have lost?

Date & Time: Evening of the 7th!
Location: Ellie, Tess, and Joel's place.
Characters: Ellie 2.0, Stephanie, and possibly papabear and mamabear.
Summary: Ellie decides to invite someone over to hang out for the FIRST TIME EVER.
Warnings: Swearing is always a possibility.

Stephanie's friendly. She's easy to talk to, amazing to watch, and Ellie finds herself looking forward to bumping into her when she goes to train. It's not long before the idea of hanging out at her place comes up, and after bringing up the idea to Joel and Tess one night (and stressing that this girl is safe and could be trusted), Ellie's opening the front door to their tiny little apartment with Steph behind her.

"The guy that owns the shop downstairs had to be convinced to let us rent this place, but I do some awesome puppy-dog eyes," Ellie explains with a shrug as she holds the door open. It's a work in progress, away from the rest of the housing. Peeling paint, creaky furniture, but it's cleaner and more secure than any of the other places Ellie has stayed before. She's not ashamed of the place she shares with Tess and Joel. It's home, now. However, she is a little nervous having a friend over. She doesn't know how to be a host... or what to do now.

"It's not as nice as the apartments, but make yourself at home, I guess." She motions to the couch.

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She really needs to work out a nickname for one of the Ellies. It's usually not too confusing, but figuring out a way to distinguish them might make conversations easier, at least (Ellie, I'm going to Ellie's had just felt a bit silly).

It's something she can work out later, for now she's focusing on trying not to be too nervous about making a good impression with the people that are taking care of Ellie. She has mixed results with adults, and she hopes they like her just because she likes Ellie. Kids are a bit complicated, but she really does enjoy spending time with Ellie, not to mention how badly her protective streak has kicked in with the girl.

So she's fussing a little, anxious, fingers curled in the sleeves of her shirt, but she forces herself to relax and smile when Ellie opens the door. There's a container in her hands, with cookies inside, because she figured she should bring something.

"That doesn't surprise me at all," Ellie is kind of adorable, to be honest. And she's not going to judge about the state of the place, "This is great compared to some of my safe houses, thanks."

She steps inside, holding out the dontainer for Ellie as she goes past, "Don't worry, they're not leftovers from the tent."

Or are they?

No, she made them fresh.

Edited (wurds) 2013-09-08 03:19 (UTC)

"Week old cookies would still be considered fresh in these parts," Ellie says with a smile. They've eaten a lot of things past their expiration--you can't really be picky when it comes to food. She takes the box, to place them on the table. Right in the open, where Tess and Joel can see.

If Steph's nervous, Ellie can't tell.

Their apartment has two rooms, and Ellie can't tell if anyone's behind the closed door of Joel's. Tess'. Joel and Tess' room. Okay, that was still sorta vague but the adults have their room, Ellie has hers, and maybe they're out doing their own thing right now. Maybe that's for the best. She's never really introduced anyone to anyone, before.

"I think I've eaten more baked goods here than real food."

Edited (also werds) 2013-09-08 04:01 (UTC)

It gets a grin in return, brief, before she hides it to put on an overly serious expression instead, "None of my friends should have to eat week old cookies, not while I still have a oven."

She delivers it like some heroic line, making fun of herself because that's the easiest way for her to ease her own tension. If she mocks herself first, no one else can do it.

She drops the act after a second, though, the grin returning, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Carbs are her favourite.

"I don't wanna get into too much of a good thing territory," Ellie says, though she's not really worried about getting fat or getting cavities. She glances at the cookies one more time before going to sit.

"Joel and Tess'll appreciate it, though. Nice way to get on their good sides." Which is the best side to be on. They could be rough around the edges, Ellie knew, but they weren't unfriendly people. She's seen both Tess and Joel talking to strangers on the network, socializing, just like she had been. They didn't have so much to worry about here.

"They'll like you," she says with a little nod, because how could they not?

She seems to give that point serious consideration, before nodding, "It'd be a tragedy if you got sick of baked goods."

A tragedy.

She takes a seat beside Ellie, and it speaks to how comfortable she is around the girl that she tucks one of her legs up under herself, because it means she's not planning to jump straight into action.

The comment about them liking her earns a wry smile, and she has to wonder if Ellie's noticed that she's feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing, "I hope so. My track record with adults is a little spotty."

Ignore the part where she's basically an adult, now.

Ellie catches that, at least.

"How old are you, anyway?"

Old enough to know how to fight, and be some sort of superhero.

"I was nineteen back home, and I've been here long enough that I would've hit twenty, even if the months aren't right," Since she showed up in Exsilium's January, while it was late June for her, back home.

"That's pretty much an adult, by the way. And I'm fourteeen," she volunteers, though by now it must be closer to fifteen. Whatever. It's not like age really matters, anyway. You lose track of the days and the months when you're traveling. All that matters are the seasons.

"I'm not an adult until I can legally drink," Because that's definitely something she cares about, though hopefully the fact she's smiling and wrinkling her nose will give away that she's joking.

It's weird, having an actual number to put to Ellie's age, because it makes her think about all the things she was doing when she was fourteen.

"Do you know when your birthday is? We should throw you a party if it rolls around while you're in Exsilium."

Because it sounds like she probably didn't have birthday parties at home.

"No fucking clue," Ellie says with a flippant wave. She decides to not mention how young she was when she had her first drink, and how legal ages didn't mean shit anymore. The only age that mattered was when you were old enough to be pulled into the military, to fill in the thinning ranks.

"... a party could be fun, though. I'm there if there's a cake."

The flippancy gets a laugh, since it's about what Steph expected, "Yeah, I wasn't sure of mine until I dug out my birth certificate."

Crystal and Arthur weren't the best at parenting.

"And there's always cake at parties," Well, there is if Steph has anything to say about it, "You should pick a date you like the sound of and I'll put together a party for you, 'kay?"

Just because she can, just because it seems like it'd be a nice thing to do, and she's fond of Ellie.

"Are you adopted or something?" She asks, because Ellie was under the impression Steph didn't come from the shithole she had come from. People from before, they had birthdays. They had parents.

As for the date... well, she's definitely not picking anything in the fall or winter. It was about this time of the year that everyone back int he QZ became moody and solemn, the old timers reminiscing about life before the infection ruined everything. She doesn't know the exact date of when the world went to hell (maybe no one does), but she'll stick to spring, maybe. Spring wasn't too bad.

"Are birthday parties that big of a deal?"

"Nah, but my dad didn't care much for things like that, and my mom was real sick when I was young," She's not entirely sure why she lies, why she feels the need to seperate her dad's apathy from her mom's. Crystal wasn't sick, she told the doctors she was, so they'd keep giving her the pills she needed, but she was never really sick.

She's spent so much time lately thinking about all the ways her mom let her down, maybe she just wants to take a break from that.

Birthday parties are easier to think about.

"I guess it depends. For me it was always like--" She stops, considering how to word this, whether it's a bit too depressing, but honesty always seems to work best for her, and it feels like something Ellie will understand, "It's a way to remind myself that I survived, that I made it through whatever the year threw at me."

Edited (sighs at myself) 2013-09-14 04:10 (UTC)

"Oh. Sorry," she says, because for some reason that sounds worse than the implications of adoption. Ellie doesn't really talk parents with anyone, because she's grown up under the assumption that most people didn't have them. Life was short.

And she does understand. It makes her mouth go dry, thinking about all those missed birthdays. Rylie won't ever turn sixteen. Sam will never reach fourteen. Ellie's somehow made it fourteen, fifteen years, but she shouldn't have. She rubs at her forearm, under her long sleeve.

"I guess that's a good way to look at it. A little pat on the back, right?"

"It's cool, she's better now," Which is the part that matters. Her dad is still awful, but that's just something she's resigned to these day. At least he's in prison.

Ellie's reaction doesn't go unnoticed, but she decides to let it be for the moment, in case she'd rather just forget whatever specific thing it is that's making her sad.

"Exactly," And she smiles, even if it's a bit wry, "Maybe a little bit of a fuck you to the world, too."

For trying and failing to break her. Every birthday is another year that the world didn't win.

Ellie's not too used to people getting sick and then getting better. It's oddly good to hear.

"A fuck you that involves cake is my favorite kind," she says with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"I could totally write that on the cake, if you wanted. Just to make it proper," She can tell, what Ellie's trying to do, and is willing to run with it.

"I... don't really think everyone would find that funny," she says, still in that light, joking tone, but holy crap she would not want her dead roommate to read that. The world ended up fucking her over, not the other way around.

Life with Ellie, Joel, and Tess is a life of constantly walking on eggshells.

Tone aside, that still makes her pause, and she regards Ellie a bit curiously for a moment, wondering if there's a story somewhere in there.

"Sorry," But it's light and wry, and she shrugs, "I've been told my sense of humour needs work."

More than once, by more than one person.

"It's okay," Ellie says, quickly. Honestly, if things were different, she'd make the same joke. She leans over a bit to make sure that other bedroom doorway isn't holding either of the adults she lives with, and lowers her voice. Just in case now is the time one of them decide to make themselves known.

"Tess, she's... not alive, at home. She's handling that pretty goddamn well considering how crazy it is to be alive again, but I don't want to risk upsetting her. Even if it's just a joke."

Ah.

Steph goes quiet, but she nods to let Ellie know that she heard her, it's just going to take a moment to work out how to reply to that. It's not the first time she's heard of that happening; Cedric was dead at home (and now he's gone back to that, which.... hurts) and there are others.

"I'm sorry," To Ellie, because it must be a hard thing for her as well, being here and being reunited with someone she is, presumably, close with, and knowing that when they go home, they'll be gone again, "I'll make sure to watch what I say. It might come as a shock, but I can actually have tact sometimes."

Still with the jokes, but at least they're directed at herself.

She hasn't actually said that to anyone before. After saying it aloud, it feels... different, somehow. More real, even though she's gotten used to Tess' presence. It's one of those things she can't talk to Tess about, and she sure as hell can't talk to Joel about. It would hurt them too much for Ellie to express how fucking astounded she was at all of this, and how many possibilities it opened up.

Of course, the potential for good was just as likely as the potential for bad. It's why she was out in the courtyard on the first, looking for a familiar face. Friendly or not.

"Don't worry about it too much. I just wanted to give you a head's up. I try to avoid jokes about the apocalypse and dead people while I'm in here."

She makes a face that's somewhere between a shrug and a grimace.

Steph tends to limit the death jokes to ones about her own, and even then they don't necessarily go over well. Which shouldn't surprise her, but she comes from Gotham, and everyone's sense of humour there is a little bit screwed up.

"Is that what happened back home?" The apocalypse, she means. She's wanted to ask for a while, exactly what the deal is with Ellie's world, but she tries not to pry too much.

Ellie doesn't really mind. Unlike people born before the infection tore the world apart, she doesn't have any recollection of when it was "good." She doesn't have anything to wistfully sigh about. All she knows about the chaos of those days are what she hears in bits and pieces, catches on moldy newspapers in rusted boxes.

"Not like the... biblical one, or whatever, but sorta?" She scrunches her face as she tries to think about how to say it. Oh, well. Same ol' spiel. "This fungal infection broke out, and no one really knows how that happened. Cordyceps. It turns you into a mindless monster that bites and scratches. You have a bad run in with one of them, or their spores, and you end up turning. Boosh, before anyone knows it, half the world is dead or turned."

The word is familiar, and she makes a note to look it up, later, just so she has a better frame of reference, but for now her focus is on listening to Ellie and trying to decide what to say to that.

She can't help but think zombies, except she doubts that's really something Ellie wants to hear. Not when it's possible she's lost family and friends to things thing. Steph won't reduce their deaths to a horror movie trope.

"I'm sorry seems like a bullshit thing to say, but I am," It doesn't seem like enough, knowing what Ellie must have been through, "How long has it been?"

Since the infection broke out. How long as the world been a mess.

In a (sick?) way, it's sorta nice to be the one doing the explaining, answering the questions. There's so much here that Ellie doesn't know because it just doesn't exist anymore for her.

People like Tess and Joel deserve the sympathies, she thinks, even as she gives Steph a small smile back in return.

"Twenty years," she replies. "Closer to twenty-one now, I guess."

There's something a little rough in her exhale, with the confirmation that the world went to shit before Ellie was born. She'd expected it, from the way Ellie talked about things back home, but knowing it for sure is a little different. She wants to ask about her parents, wonders what kind of people are brave enough to have a child in a situation like that, but that definitely feels like it'd be asking too much.

"I can't imagine growing up in a world like that," It's clear in her tone that she admires Ellie for it, for having survived all that, "Makes Gotham sound like a paradise."

"Didn't really have a choice," she says, flippantly. Most children were terrible, terrible accidents, and Ellie knew from a young age that she didn't want kids. She didn't like kids. Babies were ugly and loud and a burden. But now, knowing that whatever is different about her would probably make popping out a child an extremely terrible idea, if not impossible... she's relieved. There was no way in hell she was letting someone grow up like she did, struggle with the weight of her bad luck like she did.

She's had a lot of time to think about things like that.

"Gotham's your city, right? Is it a big one?"

"No one has a choice about where they grow up, that doesn't make surviving it any less admirable," Almost opposite to Ellie's flippancy, Steph's tone is gentle but insitant, because she wants the girl to know that she respects what she's been through and the fact she's survived it.

Maybe it's something she wishes she'd been told, when she was that age.

"Yeah, it's on an island, but a big one, and we manage to pack a lot on there," Sometimes she forgets how big it is, when she knows it like the back of her hand, "A lot of people hate Gotham, but I love her."

Admirable. A strange word to hear in relation to herself. She didn't have a choice in a lot of the things that have happened to her, but she did choose to fight when she could have given up and let her turn come. Maybe that counts in Steph's books, so there's another small smile instead of an actual verbal response.

"Why do they hate... her?" Okay, that's sort of a weird way to refer to a city. Or maybe she's just never heard it before. Wouldn't be the first time.

The smile is enough.

"There's nothing in Gotham worth saving, according to a lot of people," There's something almost lazy in the way she says it, mocking instead of letting her bitterness seep through. The rest of the world abandoned Gotham after the quake, and she doubts she'll ever forgive them for that, "For a long time she was one of the most corrupt cities in America, the mob basically controlled everything, and the city seemed to draw in the worst of the worst, when it came to supervillains. Things have gotten better since Batman and the rest of us started cleaning things up, but it's still not an easy place to live."

There's still a lot of crime, there's still the mob and the gangs and the supervillains.

"But she's got a soul like no other city, she's got a heartbeat, and once Gotham gets into your bones you can't ever really leave," She has a lot of feelings about her city, "People say that Gotham'll destroy you, and it's true in a lot of ways, but she makes us stronger, too."

A lot of people would say there's nothing worth saving in their world. Maybe that's why so many have stopped looking for a cure. The few Quarantine Zones that still stood were under martial law, and their conflict with rebel groups that wanted a form of democracy back in rule were often messy and violent. Ellie's lost track of the number of times she's seen someone suspected to be a Firefly be dragged off, never to be heard from again. It was a dog eat dog world, and it wasn't uncommon to see blood staining the litter on the streets.

Supervillains and this Batman guy reminds Ellie of her comics, and has her paying attention. It's strange as fuck to hear someone talking about a place with such reverence and--love? Steph's a strange one, but it's bizarre enough for Ellie to be curious. Gotham. A real city, with people in the streets, going about their day. Must be something to see.

"Wow, I can't imagine what that's like," she says after a pause, letting it sink in, her mind trying to paint pictures without much reference. "Sounds... intense."

"That's one word for it," Intense. Usually people tend to pick more negative words when talking about Gotham, so it's nice to have something a little more neutral, "Gotham doesn't exist in this world, otherwise I'd offer to take you there next time we're on a mission."

Mostly she just wishes she could go there herself. This isn't technically the longest she's spent away from Gotham, because her stay in Africa was longer, but a few of those months she was unconscious, so this feels longer.

"I'd pay money to see any city that doesn't look like crap."

Boston was where she was born and where she grew up, but she didn't miss it. There wasn't much for her to miss. She hated school. She didn't have friends. Leaving was probably one of the better things to happen to her.

"You'll probably get a chance," Considering the missions, even if she'd rather that Ellie didn't have to go on any that might be dangerous, "I'd offer to take you over the UE, but you don't wanna go there."

It's not bad, necessarily, but there's something terrifying about how controlled everything is.

"Have you been on a lot of missions?" She knows that's her ticket to seeing things she'd never have a chance of setting her eyes upon at home. So, while doing shit for someone else isn't really appealing, the opportunity to experience things she's only heard of certainly is.

It's just a matter of when.

"A few, the best one was probably the beach with the dinosaurs," Steph that doesn't sound great out of context, "I've only been to on the required ones, actually, but a few of my friends have been on private missions," It hasn't really occured to her, until now, that she hasn't been asked to go on any missions by the Initiative.

She wonders if that's normal or not, if there's a reason and if she should be glad for it or not.

"I'm so pissed I missed that. Talk about a bummer," she sighs, running her hands down her face. She's done some digging into what's gone down in the past. Fucking dinosaurs, though. How cool.

"But pass on the beach part. Me and water are not friends."

"I'll talk to Saul, maybe we can get the Initiative to send us all on another vacation," That's basically what it was, even if they did have to collect things while away.

She's curious about the water part, though.

"Can't swim?" There's no judgement in her tone; she didn't learn to swim herself until she was a bit older.

"Who's Saul?" She's not sure if this is a name she should know or not. There are so many names on the network every time she looks at it, it makes her head hurt.

Ellie shifts on the cushion, getting comfortable instead of squirming out of awkwardness. Most people her age in Boston didn't know how to swim, either. No reason.

"Nope. Joel's been teaching me how to not drown as much, but we've discovered I'm definitely not a natural. Sometimes I can float on my back?"

"Him and Medusa run the DITR - which is supposed to help us talk to the Intiative - so he might be able to wrangle something," She could talk to Medusa about it, but Saul likes her better (hahahaha).

Let's talk about swimming.

"Don't give up on it," Even if she's not a natural, "My friend Collette runs swimming classes, and I bet if you ask nice she'd turn into a dolphin for you to swim with."

Clearly that is incentive to keep learning.

"Ah, gotcha."

That's all a little above her head, so she'll let Steph handle all that stuff. To swimming!

"Joel won't let me. He's tired of finding pallets for me to stand on while he pushes me across wide expanses of water. Probably getting too old for it," she says with a light shrug. Joel wasn't too old, but Ellie did feel bad for the extra work he had to do just for her. And, she realizes, she'd feel bad if she dumped his swimming lessons for someone else's.

But, uh. One thing.

"--wait. A dolphin?"

That does sound like it'd get a little tiring, but it makes Steph glad to hear that Joel's willing to do things like that to keep Ellie safe. It reassures her.

She considers making a joke about Joel's age, but gets sidetracked by Ellie's question, and can't help grinning.

"What, you don't have a friend that can turn into a dolphin?" Doesn't everyone.

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closed | have you lost the same things I have lost?

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wow i sure thought i hit post before i left for work

no worries 8)

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