exsiliumlogs | [closed] a small promise bound by our fingers

[ it's late by the time they return to the city and even later by the time she reaches the bakery.

three days have gone by but everything was how she remembered it and despite the discomfort of those days still lingering in her chest, she tries to take comfort in the place she has learned to call home with the others. the warm shower and change of clothes certainly help, she's even happier when she stuffs the hospital gown as deep into the trash as it will go. returning inside the warm (yet drafty) building, she realizes that she should probably go to bed because it's been a long three days and she needs the rest but—

but she has never been one to sleep well with a mind full of worried and racing thoughts. it was in these times back home that she would seek out the advice and comfort of her mother but here in Exsilium, she has to find it in different ways. perhaps that is why, now close to dawn, that she's sitting in the kitchen and frosting cupcakes without much thought in the manner. she really had only planned to just bake a few but... a few somehow that few became two dozen and plain cupcakes are just no good, right? she's still a little lost in thought though even in her decorating, only brought back when Amy meows in her lap and she glances down at the cupcake in her hand.

what should have been a simple flower is now larger than the cupcake itself, frosting smearing her fingers and falling off the sides onto the counter leaving nothing that looks like a flower or cupcake in it's wake. ]

A-ah... that's no good.

[ homura hasn't slept since madoka's return. how could she? madoka is back. seventy-two hours of not knowing are finally over, and if she has any say it'll be the last minute she doesn't know exactly where madoka is, whether madoka is safe or not.

of course, it won't be. she knows that. madoka will do what madoka chooses, and there's only so much she can do to keep watch in this place. but- madoka's back now. madoka's safe. she can stop worrying, just for now, can't she?

madoka's voice reaches her through the crack beneath her door, and homura stops thinking. it doesn't sound like she's in danger - tired, more than anything - but it's enough regardless. homura pulls her door open, walking the short distance to the kitchen before surveying the scene.

when she sees the mess, she exhales - not a sigh, not disappointed or exasperated, but a simple untensing of her muscles - and grabs a towel before kneeling down by the spill. ]

It's late. [ it comes out more brusquely than she intended, and she falters in her motions for a moment. ] ...you should rest.

[ the opening of a door and footsteps do not go unnoticed, Madoka turning just in time to hear Homura exhale. she smiles though, just watching for a quiet moment and just... happy to be near her friend again.

seventy-two hours. when she stops and thinks of it like that, it really doesn't seem so long. but trapped in that cold compound, even with the warmth of good weather did not distract her from the pain in not being near someone she considered her best friend. especially these days, when Homura's presence was such a constant that with it was... so very worrying.

only when Homura speaks does Madoka snap out of her thoughtful state, realizing her mess once again and hurriedly trying to tidy things. ]

I-I'll take care of it. It is my mess... [ her voice fades away in a mumble, as Amy meows and hops from her lap, and Madoka moves to kneel too. ] And... I know. I'm just not tried though, I just lay there tossing and turning.

I didn't wake you up, did I?

Edited 2013-10-01 11:41 (UTC)

No. [ how could she sleep at a time like this, she's tempted to say, but - that would only worry madoka, wouldn't it? so she deflects concern, as best as she can, with ] I try not to sleep more than is necessary.

[ it's only after she says it that she realizes that'll likely only worry madoka even more. this time, though, she doesn't falter in her actions. she continues to wipe up the spill at the same calm pace, and when she speaks it is to change the subject without even a hint of tension. ]

Have you tried a hot drink? [ hot chocolate, her mind provides without effort. madoka had mentioned her father making it for her on sleepless nights on more than one occasion, and while homura couldn't hope to match up to tomohisa kaname's prowess in the kitchen she can try to mimic it as best as she can. ] That might help relax you.

Homura-chan...

[ and it does worry her, enough that it shows on Madoka's face and she can only watch quietly as her friend cleans up the mess from the floor. when Homura speaks again, Madoka offers a smile. ]

I, um... I had some tea earlier. [ but all that did was serve to remind her of thoughts back in the compound, drinking tea to distract her from the thoughts of where she was. reminding her of the mentor that had once again returned to the city. ] Maybe there's something else I could try and make though. If so, would you like to sit with me and have a drink too?

Edited (oops just forgetting about half a sentence there) 2013-10-06 07:25 (UTC)

I- yes. That sounds nice.

[ with her cleaning duties finally finished, she transitions to the sink with a single graceful motion. ]

You should sit. I can take care of the rest.

[ she doesn't go so far as to physically herd madoka out of the room - that would be a bit uncouth. but she does stare the other girl down for a moment before making a beeline for the mugs. ]

O-okay.

[ she laughs nervously but takes a seat, instead trying to focus on cleaning up her smaller mess on the table and setting aside which cupcakes had already been finished for later.

still, Madoka turns curiously after a moment and tilts her head, trying to get a better view of Homura. ]

Are you sure you wouldn't like some help? I mean... you already do so much for me already.

[ there was no denying it now; the city was doomed. everything was going to be wiped off the face of the world and there was nothing they could do to stop, nothing they could do to stop the deaths of half-a-million people that lived here. not now, anyway... she hopes, prays that the words others have said throughout the day prove to be true and they can make a difference once they reach the moon. they had gone on countless missions before, changing the past little by little in order to weaken the UE. so, couldn't they do that again? Madoka isn't sure just what sort of missions need to be taken, what sort of things they might have to do but she is willing (and more than ready) to see if true.

that does not make this moment any easier though. standing in the center of her room, bag open and sitting on her bed as she tries to find the will to start packing. there's a whole year worth of memories in here, after all and it leaves her shaken that this will all vanish in an instant a few days from now. she can feel tears welling up, threatening to spill over at any moment as she continues to think on it until a flash of black catches her attention. Amy has hardly left their sides since they came back and even now, Madoka wonders if the small kitten knows that something is wrong- especially know as she watches her hop into the open bag and sit, meowing back at Madoka. ]

Don't- don't worry, Amy. We won't leave you behind. [ although she does her best to smile, Madoka's heart is breaking. ]

[Like a stray cat herself, Kyouko shows up eventually, cheeks flushed from the cold outside. She'd been scarce the last couple of days — the bakery had been tense and quiet even before the announcement had been made, and she wasn't sure how to deal with it yet. She's unaccustomed to handling Madoka when she's unhappy about anything either, and figures she'll want the space.

But packing her meager belongings comes to mind, or maybe she just wants to check up on everyone...whatever the case, she makes her way up to Madoka's room, knocking once before leaning against the door to open it a little.]

Hey. [She's not really sure how to ask to come in, so she waits to see what Madoka will do.]

[ she turns to face Kyouko as soon as the other girls speaks, greeting her with a smile. although there is this terrifying threat hanging over them, she has decided to be strong and not only for herself... but for the friends and the family she has made here. ]

Hi, Kyouko-chan. [ as if on cue, Amy meows out to Kyouko from her spot in Madoka's bag and gets a small chuckle out of the girl. ] I think Amy might just be welcoming you back too.

[She doesn't smile back — she feels too strange and off-balance to do that, and besides, she still has a reputation to uphold. But she takes a few more steps in, and looks down at the kitten, then back to Madoka.

She isn't sure what to say, really, so she says the first thing that comes to mind.] Hey, fleabag. [To the cat. Then, to Madoka:] Are you ready?

[Asking if she was okay would be too overly sentimental, Kyouko thinks.]

[ Oriko's post to the network does not go unnoticed to Madoka; she listens to it quite a few times, trying to digest what is said and think of how to word all the questions spinning around in her head. although she sits for sometime beside her half-packed bags, she finally stands and leaves the bakery for the streets that lead back to the apartment complex. there isn't any real reason, she thinks, for this... confirmation, perhaps? to know in absolute certainly that there was nothing more they could do? whatever it may be, Madoka knows she has to hear it for herself.

the ground between them was... shaky, for lack of a better (and terribly less kinder) word but Madoka does still trust the other girl in some strange, very odd way. after all, despite whatever might lay between the two of them- Oriko wouldn't lie about something like this.

and so, Madoka glances to her ring and reaches out through her magic. it wasn't uncommon for her to talk with the others in the bakery through their thoughts, but this is the first time she has ever reached out to Oriko like this. still, she searches and searches until finally; ]

Oriko-san?

I wondered if I would hear from you.

[There are few places she'd rather have Madoka reaching less.

Oriko has paced for hours on her visions. For everything there should be an answer, and she has hunted, dwelling on one slaughter and then another. She can't be too invested in the judgment Madoka might impart on her now.]

I would not lie about this.

I know you wouldn't.

[ she feels (hopes) she understands that much, at least about the other girl. ]

I wondering if- if you had seen anything from the decision to go to the moon base. Can we really change this, Oriko-san? And keep... keep this from ever happening.

I can't --

[The noise she makes, even between their minds, is irritated.]

I would not know what to look for; for something to change in the future by changing the past, instead of the present.

[Looking at Homura's world, worlds, the spokes on the axle of that turning wheel, had left her with a completely different understanding from this.]

Something will have to be changed.

[ there is a long moment of silence where Madoka does not speak, simply slowly her steps along the sidewalk until she comes to a stop. ]

I'm sorry. [ for what? a lot of things, she thinks. ] You are right though and I know- I don't know if things can ever be normal between us but I hope we can work together to change this.

For what?

[It's short, perhaps not even on purpose. This is the power given to her. Oriko's next response seems softer.]

...In this, at least, our goals are the same.

Tell me, what do you think your powers can do to alter this fate?

[They tell them there's nothing to be done, and although she accepts the news of her powerlessness with the same hard pragmatism she accepts everything else, it's harder to swallow, this time.

They're not supposed to tell anyone, and that's the worst part. She isn't sure how she feels about it, this deception via omission. This place is a sad, cold sort of world, a lonely gray city, but it has been a better home to her than Kasamino. The Exiles had not always been unkind, and she had met the others here, really met them. She'd had a home here, or something close to it. Well, that was the way the world worked, she'd learned. You had good things for a little while, something to help you get by, to keep you safe, and then it slipped through your fingers.

She should've known better. It always ended up like this, no matter what anyone did.

On the day after the announcements, she avoids the bakery (home). Instead she finds the church she knows in this place, the one where she had once fixed the metal cross of (the first set of bombs had undone that work. this set would destroy it entirely). Here she lingers, watching people go in and out of this sad and tired place, people with their families.

They don't even know what's coming for them. It's just like her dad, and she realizes she is ashamed of herself, for being here. She doesn't have the right — she hasn't in a long while. Her shoulders hunch; she stuffs her hands in her pockets, head lowered, and makes her way back. The bakery isn't far from here, and Madoka, at least, will be waiting. She'd pack things herself, but there's not much she has to bring.]

[ It's her birthday the day after they get back from the holding compound, but she barely even remembers. At some point during the early morning, as the sun starts to peek through the window, she catches sight of a calendar — the date seems to stick out, for some reason, but it takes her a good minute to realize why.

Back home, she would have been excited, eagerly awaiting the inevitable presents and cake — here, it just feels like another day. Suddenly tired, she slumps into one of the chairs and sighs; staring down at the ground. ]

Sixteen, huh...

Good morning, Sayaka-chan.

[ although Madoka is nowhere to be seen, her voice come easily through their shared telepathy. her night, much like the night before, has had little sleep and left Madoka spending most of her early hours downstairs in the bakery. ]

I'm sorry to ask this as soon as you wake up, but can you help me with something in the bakery real quick?

... Hey, Madoka. [ Telepathy makes it harder to hide how tired she is, but she doesn't take long to respond. If Madoka needs something, then she isn't going to just ignore her. ] I'll be there in a minute. Wait for me, okay?

[ True to her word, she picks herself up after a few more seconds, and only makes a quick stop for juice before heading downstairs. The first mouthful helps wake her up, and she sounds marginally better when she sticks her head into the bakery. ]

What's up?

O-oh! That was fast. [ you know, because she wasn't upstairs or anything. ] Well, um... it's just a small something I help with, ah-

[ she's been standing nervously in front of one of the counters the whole time, hands behind her back and glancing everywhere in the bakery expect at Sayaka. finally, with a final glance over her shoulder, she moves out of the way to show what her entire morning has consisted of.

it's a small cake, fit for only a handful of people and decorated in chocolate and fruits with Happy Birthday♪ written neatly on top. ]

I-I know it's not much, I actually had a big party planned but- [ she pauses, and sighs. ] After everything that happened, I thought maybe something small would be better.

Still, despite all of that I wanted you to have something nice today. You deserve it more than anyone I know, so.... happy birthday, Sayaka-chan.

I... [ She sees the cake first, and assumes it's just something else for the bakery... then the message sinks in, followed by Madoka's words a moment later. ] Wait, this is for me?

[ She'd barely remembered the date herself, after everything that had happened — the last thing she expected was someone else to remember too. Madoka had been captured for just as long, had suffered through the same train ride back home, and yet... ]

Madoka... [ Normally, she does her best not to cry in front of other people. But here and now, with the past five days still fresh in her mind and her best friend wishing her a happy birthday, she feels tears start to sting at her eyes. ] G, geez, this is too much. My bride's really trying to embarrass me...

Yup! I don't think I know anyone else with a birthday today.

[ although she giggles and smiles, somewhere in the back of Madoka's mind the words Oriko spoke to her are replaying over. she worries still, but tries to pass it off in this one moment-

after all, no matter what the future might hold... Sayaka's happiness would always be something worth fighting for. ]

Not embarrassed enough for a present, I hope.

I'm sure there's someone...

[ But she's laughing too, now, so it's obviously a joke. She wipes at her eyes, trying to straighten herself out, and manages to take a few steps closer to Madoka. ]

What kind of present is it, huh? Are you gonna propose to me?

Maybe! But no one as important as you.

[ she turns around, picking a box up (cutely wrapped in decorative wrapping paper and a ridiculous bow) from another counter. ]

If I did that, then you'd have nothing to give me for my birthday. [ she breaks out into a grin and chuckles, holding the box out. ] It's getting colder and since you go out for training, I thought you might need a few things.

[ inside is winter gear, a soft coat clearly made for both rain and cold. gloves, hat and thick wool sock decorated in colorful sheep but under all that is a long scarf, dark blue with musical notes covering it.

it's handmade but definitely not by the hand of someone who has mastered and when Sayaka gets to it, Madoka can't help looking embarrassed. ]

I-I know it's not good but... I really wanted to make something for you. The old lady in the market that sells those handmade toys that we bought last year, she- she's taught me a little over the summer.

[ She doesn't find herself lost for words very often, but now is one of those times. Her grin widens as she works her way through the box, but she pauses when she gets to the scarf, glancing between it and Madoka as she listens to the explanation. ]

Ah, geez... [ Realizing her reaction could be taken as a bad thing, she shakes her head and proudly holds the scarf up. ] Don't say that. The other things are nice, but I think this is the best of all.

... And I think my bride should put it on me. [ Even if she has to bend down a little... an acceptable effort. ]

Do you really think so? [ blood, sweat and some tears of frustration went into the making of that scarf. so, to hear what Sayaka thinks of it makes her heart swell with pride.

that statement gets a confused look out of her but a moment passed before Madoka smiles, stepping forward and taking the scarf. very gently she wraps it around her friends neck, careful not to wrap it around make it tight. ]

There. [ she takes a step back, smiling and admiring the sight. ] On you it looks so much better!

[ For just a moment, it's easy to forget the past week — all that matters is Madoka wrapping the scarf around her neck, and the smile on her face when she steps away. Her own face lights up, and she brings up a hand to toy with the edge of the scarf, giving it a closer look. ]

Ahaha... I hope it's strong, because I don't know if I'll ever take this off. [ Is she joking? Probably not. ] Everyone's gonna know you made it for me, Madoka. It's too perfect not to brag about.

[closed] a small promise bound by our fingers

september 19th; open

finally writes this tag...

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if the information here is too godmodded for you just let me know and i'll edit!!

everything is fine, no worries!

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september 21st; open

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september 22nd; closed to oriko

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op...en, 22nd, for telepathy or action

20th

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