open | all I want is the moon upon a stick

[vaccination]

Date & Time: October 10th onwards.
Location: Around the base.
Characters: Ellie and you.
Summary: Ellie's hangin' around, totally over this moon business.
Warnings: Swearing.



a. the cafeteria
[Ellie sits at one of the tables in the cafeteria, a pyramid of upside-down cups stacked in front of her. It's certainly not the sturdiest of structures, but she's spent some time on it, and she's vaguely proud of her accomplishment. They only clattered to the floor once or twice.

Now that she's done, she leans back and slides down a few inches in her seat. Well. That killed twenty minutes.

She reaches out a hand to slowly nudge one of the cups at the bottom corner of her pyramid. That might be loud if she keeps going.]

b. the observatory
[Space is cool. It kind of makes her feel like she's falling when she looks out the window or through any screens, but she keeps coming back to the observatory to do just that. She's not sure if she likes that feeling or not. The wasteland where Exsilium once was is still visible, but Ellie doesn't seem to pay it much mind right now. She's lying on her back on the floor, sneakers propped up against a wall, comic book held over her face.

Every now and then she makes some sort of noise. This comic is so intense.]

Comments

[vaccination]

I think so.

[Said with a wry smile because maybe she forgot! Except no, she's been thrown to the floor so hard she's blacked out--she's pretty sure that was a concussion.]

[controlledvariable]

You worry me, corazón.

[It's said fondly, but she's also shaking her head.

Not like she can throw stones, though, considering her own casual attitude to getting injured.]

[vaccination]

Still fond of that nickname, huh?

[Not nearly as much of a killer as LITTLE SISTER.]

[controlledvariable]

I think it fits. [Her smile softens after a moment, though.] Does it bother you?

[Because teasing aside, she will stop if it makes Ellie uncomfortable.]

[vaccination]

It doesn't bother me. It's... nice. I like it. [She may not be too fond of being called kid, but other nicknames aren't too bad.]

[controlledvariable]

[She's pretty sure her heart just grew three sizes.]

Good.

[Steph slows down, gently winding an arm around Ellie's shoulders and pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head.]

You know I love you, right?

[Maybe she's feeling a little sentimental right now. For reasons.]

[vaccination]

[This would be Ellie going absolutely rigid, shoulders tensing. It's not the arm around them or the kiss to the top of the head, it's the words. I love you. No one's ever said that to her before. She's never said it to anyone, either, and though there are people she loves, it's just... not a word she uses. Not something she gives voice to. Maybe Steph just tosses these things around lightly. Love. Little sister.

Or maybe Ellie is a little too tired of the people she's loved getting taken away or leaving her or almost dying.

She opens her mouth to say something, but she doesn't know what, and she definitely can't walk while her brain tries to process what just happened.]

[controlledvariable]

[There's no way she could miss that reaction, and she lets go of Elie, but only so she can move around so she's in front of her, crouching a little so she's at eye level.]

Hey.

[Gently, and her smile is warm.]

I mean it. I know we haven't known each other for that long, but I'm glad I met you, and I'm wanna be here for you as long as I can.

[She can't make promises, not with things the way they are, here, but she'll do the best she can.]

[vaccination]

[It's a few long beats before Ellie can meet Steph's eyes, embarrassed that she's having such a reaction over something that seems to come to the older girl so easily.

After another several moments of staring into blue eyes, searching for something, Ellie tosses her arms around Steph's neck.

She might not have it in her to say the words, but she can appreciate them all the same.]

[controlledvariable]

[She doesn't think Ellie needs to be embarrased; this sort of thing didn't used to come easily for her, either. Cass had a lot to do with teaching her to be a bit more open about affection, although that tended to be more towards the physical.

Like the hug, for example.

Which she returns without hesitation, winding her arms around Ellie's middle and holding her tight for as long as Ellie wants.]

[vaccination]

[Ellie likes being hugged. Since being brought to Exsilium, since winter, since almost losing him, since almost losing everything, she and Joel have been discovering how much comfort a hug from the other could bring. He made her feel safe.

Steph's hugs are warm and comfortable and make her feel--loved, she guesses, without the worries about overstepping into a dead girl's territory or hurting a broken father by reminding him of what he's lost. There aren't really any strings attached.

She clings for a bit, then forces herself to let Steph go with a shy little smile. Maybe she'd have to make an effort, be a little less hesitant, and initiate their hugs more often. She could do that for Steph.]

[controlledvariable]

[Hugs are pretty great.

She lets go of Ellie when she feels her start to pull away, and between the reaction and that shy smile, she thinks she figures out what's going on.]

Don't hear that a lot, huh?

[vaccination]

[She idly rubs her nose with her hand. That obvious, huh?]

More like not ever.

[controlledvariable]

[Oh, that just makes her heart hurt.]

Yeah.

[She gets that, because it's not like she heard it much; her mom would remember sometimes, and when her grandmother was alive she'd tell Steph she loved her, but that's about it.

Which isn't the same as not even, but she can understand why it's a bit overwhelming.]

Sorry for kind of springing it on you, I just wanted you to know.

[It seems even mroe important, now she knows Ellie hasn't heard it before.]

[vaccination]

[A part of her almost wants to pipe up in defense of Joel, even though Steph hasn't said a thing about him. That maybe if Sarah hadn't died, he'd have said it first. That she gets why he's not exactly open, but neither is she. And that even if she and Joel never ever say what they might feel, their actions speak louder than words.

But that seems kinda excessive and uncalled for.]

Thanks. [That seems so miniscule.] Sorry for getting all... weird on you. [But, you know. She rubs at her nose again.] I saw what you said to Collette, before. On the network.

[controlledvariable]

It's okay, I get it. [What she doesn't get is what Ellie means about the network, and she frowns for a second, confused, but the realization hits her.

Oh, that.

She ducks her head, a little embarrassed now.] I meant that, too.

[It might have been said a bit idly, but that doesn't make it any less true.]

[vaccination]

[She's oddly pleased that she made Steph embarrassed. About time.]

If I had a big sister, I'd want her to be like you.

[Which is a roundabout way of saying yeah, Steph's definitely her big sis.]

[controlledvariable]

[Noooooooo.

That's even worse; she's not sure her heart can handle it, because apparently she can dish out feelings but she doesn't know how to handle it when they're directed at her.

And now it's her turn not to know what to say, so she's just going to open her arms for another hug. Please indulge her, Ellie.]

[vaccination]

[Fine, fine. She can do that. Ellie smiles before hugging Steph again, less of a desperate cling to it this time.]

[controlledvariable]

[She feels so ridiculous, just like she did when Ahiru told her that she helped her, but it's... nice, to hear people say nice things, to know they care about her.

It feels like she's spent so much of her time here trying to keep everyone at a distance, until this month, and she feels like an idiot for not doing it sooner.

After a few moments, she pulls back, settling her hands on Ellie's shoulders.]

You're a good kid, Ellie, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[She's not sure why she says that, it just feels important.]

[vaccination]

[She wonders if Steph would still say that knowing some of the things she's done, what she's capable of, but like hell if she's bringing that up.

He doesn't get to ruin this.]

Okay, now you're just trying to see if you can get the water works going.

[controlledvariable]

You caught me.

[She leans back a little, spreading her arms out in a gesture to match the words.

It's not true, of course, but she's happy to roll with the joke, if only because otherwise she's going to get overwhelmed by feelings and stuff.]

Did I get you?

[vaccination]

Nope. Which isn't an invitation to try again, by the way. [Tear quota has been met for this lifetime.]

[controlledvariable]

You sure? You're totally allowed to get me back.

[Please actually don't she's cried way too much in the last couple of months.]

[vaccination]

I'd stomp on your foot, but I don't think that would make you cry as much as kill the moment.