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Date & Time: Oct 8th, around midnight/1 AM
Location: halls/cafeteria!
Characters: Ashraf Salib and ???
Summary: ashraf looks like a bloody horror movie extra and desperately needs a shower. naturally, this is a great time to go for a stroll.
Warnings: blood and... remainders of gore? no actual gore unless something goes terribly wrong, dude's a healer.

[ A: Hallways ]
He's not moving too fast. It's slightly faster than a trudge, but a few paces below a stroll; both arms hang limply at his sides, with one of his hands clutching two golden, cross-tipped rods, and he watches the ground as he walks.

But more noticeable than the slumping posture or the slow steps, would probably be the way his beautiful, ornate robes look completely done for. They're soaked in blood, from a giant rip in the back suggesting a solid axing had happened somewhere around his spine, to a wash down from the neck, reminiscent of a cut throat. Blood mats his hair and has dried on his skin, but looking a little closer will show no visible wounds at all. The guy might look horrifying, but he's doing pretty okay for a victim of attempted manslaughter.

It's been a long night, man.

[ B: Cafeteria ]
One of his first destinations has been the cafeteria. It's late enough that it's emptied out, and he's free to slump at a seat at one of the tables and not worry about scaring anyone with his admittedly disturbing look. He'll take care of that... soon. Somehow. He hasn't worked out yet how he'll do it with just a 5 minute shower, but he'll work something out.

But for now: tea. He sips slowly as he stares at the far wall, willing himself to unwind. Exhaustion is just around the corner, if he can just do away with the dancing nerves of recent battle.

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[Mahdi sighs and withdraws his hand, shaking his head and looking annoyed.] I've told you a kajillion times, you don't need to bless me.

Based on the evidence, I'm saying there's no way things are fine. Duh. Blood is like the polar opposite of fine. Unless you are a baby that just came out of the womb. In which case you should be crying a lot more. And naked.

Now whether you're lying because you honestly think I'm that stupid that I'd believe you - and I could see why you'd think that about me, honestly - or because you don't see what's wrong with the picture - I don't know. But it's a lie.

[ He listens quietly, and nods when Mahdi's done. It's a decent line of thought. Inaccurate, but still an understable conclusion. He drops both hands to the tabletop, folding them around the warmth of his tea again. ]

How much do you know about Koltira's state as a death knight?

I know it's painful for him, and it isn't his fault. And he needs... he needs violence, and suffering, like he hungers for it. [Mahdi rubs the inside of his wrist, remembering one horrible day.] He won't let people help him with it.

--He wouldn't-- he didn't--... [Mahdi can't finish that thought properly, but the worry is now as plain and painful as a wound itself.] Not to you...!

No. [ He shakes his head, eyes still downcast. ] I haven't been able to get him to do that in a long time. This was another death knight, and I asked it of her.

[ yeah ok true she'd been really happy to oblige him, but still. he did instigate it. He glances up finally, with a small smile. ]

I eased her suffering. So, I wasn't lying.

[Mahdi takes a slow, deep breath through his nose, holds it, and exhales through his mouth. He really feels queasy, but does pretty well in not showing it.]

I'm... I'm sure you have your reasons, but what you've just said makes me fear for your safety. That you would ask for something like this - even if was to alleviate her suffering - just seems... [Mahdi's bites on the cuticle of his thumb a long moment, thinking of how to phrase this delicately.]

Like it's something that could get taken too far really quickly. If it hasn't already, and I'm not totally sure it hasn't. I understanding wanting to help others to the point where it can seriously hurt, to the point where it could almost destroy you. [All too well, he knows this feeling, which is exactly why he fears.]

But... I'm sure I don't have to tell you how much you mean to everyone. To Jack. [To me, he almost says. But that probably doesn't need to be said. Ashraf knows how Mahdi feels, doesn't he? That love hasn't really diminished, even if it's changed a tiny bit.] How important you are. I don't believe that you could forget that for a moment, so...

So I'm confused by what I see here. But you don't owe me any explanations for what you do, your actions and their consequences are yours.

[Mahdi says this in total honesty, without any hint of regret. He's been working on being less emotionally invested in what humans do in a general way, to protect his own heart from the devastation he's witnessed in such overwhelming amounts. He has accepted in his heart that his opinion is meaningless in the course of their lives, and it helps. A little.]

So I won't bother to lecture you about it, I mean, aside from all that I just said.

[ He watches Mahdi with concern as he speaks. It's unfortunate that no one can quite understand how much it means to him, that he's able to take away someone else's pain just by going through some transient pain himself, but what really saddens him is the unneeded worry. That should be spent on someone else. ]

You've wrapped that up pretty neatly, Mahdi. It was well-said, too, and I'm sorry to make you fearful. [ A beat, used to sip at his tea, then: ] Do you want to hear explanations, or should we leave it there?

It's not about what I want. Whatever you need, I'm here. I'll always listen. I can't promise I'll understand.

[Though he's actually more worried he will.

Mahdi's back to chewing on his cuticle.]

If you want to tell me, I want to listen.

[ He considers that a while, eyes on the tabletop. He could keep it to himself as easily as tell it, but he's been in Mahdi's place before. No matter what Mahdi says, Ashraf feels sure he'd rather hear it.

And, if he's fully honest with himself, maybe it would be nice to try and explain himself to someone more willing to listen than Koltira. He sighs and sets his mug down. ]

The only way to alleviate their suffering is for them to cause pain. My job is to withstand pain and keep myself alive, and I'm really good at that. It's more than just something I can offer, it's selfish of me not to.

[Toward the end Mahdi's calm facade develops hairline cracks at the edges, and he tugs his ponytail, fussing with the split ends with his fingertips, considering an answer.]

I do understand why you did it, then. Absolutely. I've been in similar situations, though probably nothing like - like what you've just gone through. [Mahdi swallows hard.]

Like I said, you're important to people here. You're a healer, a teacher, just a generally good person all around. Someone who's willing to hurt someone else and endanger their life, especially you, in order to relieve their own suffering... that's someone I'm very suspicious of. [It's funny, how unpacking some of the pain from years ago and looking upon it fresh has genuinely changed Mahdi. He's more willing to admit he sees the bad in people, too, sometimes.]

It isn't all just about what you are willing to sacrifice, or your intentions, but what others are willing to take from you.

Anyone who loves you is going to be very worried that someone might take until there's nothing left.

[And as Mahdi said before, he is worried.]

I'm not misunderstanding your job. I just understand how other people can be, too.

[ He nods tiredly, eyes closed. ]

You'd be right to be suspicious of her, she's not very trustworthy right now. But I'm not asking you to trust her, I'm asking you -- and anyone else who would worry -- to trust me.

I'm not going to stop worrying, jeez!

[Mahdi crosses his arms over his chest.]

I can trust you and still worry about you, they're not um, um - mutually exclusive. I think you underestimate what I'd do if I didn't trust you could take care of yourself!

Oh, good. [ He offers a smile. ] Then there aren't any problems here, right?

[The smile is not returned.]

You're still a mess. Why don't you hit the shower and I'll grab you something else to wear from our room?

[ He spends a few seconds considering that. He's not quite done with his tea, but... if he takes much longer, he won't have enough energy for a shower. And that's indebatably necessary.

So finally, with a sigh, he nods. ]

Alright. Thanks.

Okay. [Mahdi picks up the cup of tea, just as an indication he'll take care of it and Ashraf should get going.] I'll drop it off in ten.

[And this time Mahdi does muster just the slightest attempt at smile:] Take care.

grammar and spelling… use… computers to help you… use your friends.. your grandma......

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