[closed] this christmas we don't need to get away

[controlledvariable]

Date & Time: December 2010
Location: Chicago
Characters: two losers
Summary: ew
Warnings: unhinged laughter
Notes: please blame heather for the cut text i am so sorry. also gif warning under the cut

Comments

[5055034455]

So I'm guessing pushing the emergency stop button here would constitute further embarrassment?

[controlledvariable]

[You know what.

She's not risking it; she steps between Saul and said emergency button, so that he can't press it without going through her, and there's no way he's getting past her.]

Don't even think about it.

[5055034455]

Oh, I'm already thinking about it.

[Is he ever~

But at least he looks content to keep thinking about it instead of doing anything about it. That's something!]

[controlledvariable]

[She sighs dramatically and looks up.]

What did I do to deserve this?

[5055034455]

[SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID.

Saul offers no comment. Instead, he whistles something tuneless while waiting for the doors to open again.]

[controlledvariable]

[Her life is so hard.

Once the doors open, she heads out towards their room, unlocking the door with the keycard and slipping inside.

At least she leaves it open for Saul to follow.

The first thing she does after dropping her bag is to find the bed and flop back onto it, looking up at the ceiling.]

Oh my god.

[A big, soft bed.

It's amazing.]

[5055034455]

[Saul quietly steps in after her, nudging the door shut with his foot, and does his thing after he's dropped his stuff: looks around everywhere. It's not as thorough a job as Steph does, but old habits die hard.

At least he looks impressed with the room.

Then his eyes fall on the bed — and on Steph on the bed — and he looks positively delighted.

Incoming, Steph. Saul's pouncing.]

[controlledvariable]

[Denied.

She rolls off the bed as if she was never on it, back on her feet and walking over to the bathroom to peer in, without missing a beat.

This is what he gets for embarrassing her in public.]

[5055034455]

[And that is the sound of a body flopping into a down comforter and cushy mattress.

It's followed by the sound of disappointment.]

Steph...

[Except what she'll hear is more like "mmmmphhh," since his face is currently buried in a pillow.]

[controlledvariable]

[No, that's the sound of revenge.

And the sound of a tap being turned on so that a ridiculously sized bath tub can be filled up.

She did say her first plan was to take a bath.]

[5055034455]

[Oh, hey. There's a sound Saul likes!

He sits up immediately, expression eager and eyes all aglow.

He should know better.]

[controlledvariable]

[He really should.

What happens is this: Steph comes back into the bedroom to take off everthing but her underwear, casually keeping out of Saul's reach the entire time, then without paying much attention to him, except to toss a coy smile his way, wanders back into the bathroom.

If he follows, and she knows he will, he's going to find the bathroom door shut in his face.

And then locked.

Because she's a little shit.]

[5055034455]

[GOD

DAMN IT

Saul stares at her the whole time, biting his lip and grinning and making his stupid plan obvious as hell, so he really has no right to whine when she shuts the door and locks it but he does it anyway.

Complete with pawing at the door.

Why this.]

Steph!

[controlledvariable]

[Laughter drifts through the door, as does the sound of the taps being turned off and someone climbing into the bath.]

Something wrong, princess?

[God help her a bath is the best thing that's ever happened to her.]

[5055034455]

[She might not be able to hear his sigh over the sound of the water, so he's sure to make it extra loud and exasperated.

Whatever; she can take her bath. He'll... unpack, he guesses. Or channel surf. Or both, simultaneously. God, when's the last time he watched TV?]