[open] don't say it's easy to follow a process; there's nothing harder than keeping a promise

[deadelfwalking]

Date & Time: Whenever
Location: VR; halls
Characters: Koltira & you
Summary: it's hard OK
Warnings: spooky scary skeletons



A: V.R. ROOM; ACHERUS: THE EBON HOLD

[He could have used this technology to recreate his homeland of Quel'thalas. He did think about it, momentarily. But he had not seen the walls of that city for over ten years now, not since his people called themselves by another name, not since they had reinvented their entire identity and culture. Any Silvermoon he designed would be a dead memory; a smudged watercolor painting. He wasn't fit to walk those streets, anyway.

So he turned to the familiar. Acherus was a floating ziggurat, the base of operations for every death knight of the Ebon Blade. Because it began life as part of the Scourge, its decor was not inviting: the cold stone floor was inscribed with skeletal designs, and in many places it was littered with actual skeletons. Braziers of unearthly fire burned in its halls, and tattered, black drapes hung from its archways. Enormous kilns carved like skulls encircled the room, their eyes and mouths bright with blue flame.

Koltira is in the center of this room, viciously attacking a target dummy. No matter how many times he cut into the wood, no matter what poisons he feeds into the resulting cracks, the dummy does not topple or shatter. It spins from the force, its burlap sack head grinning luridly, but that's all.

Doing this keeps Koltira's mind from everything that's happened recently. He had dealt out lethal punishments before, but that was during his time as a slave. He has no regret for his decision in and of itself--some lessons must be brutally taught. But he wonders if he'll have to do it again, and how many times. He wonders how much that will change his face, how it will change the faces of those who look at him.

He impales the dummy with Byfrost, and he heaves.]

B: CORRIDORS

[Koltira tries to keep to the less populated areas of the base, but that is not an easy task. Even though the throes of his blood frenzy have passed, he still hears the pulse of the transports like a war drum in his ears, pounding, pounding, pounding. The rush of their veins thrums beneath his skin, and he stares at anyone who passes him for several more seconds than necessary. He thinks of their delicate wrists; their vulnerable ankles. He thinks of their blood in his mouth. Then, clenching his fists, he turns away.]

Comments

[highhealplz]

[ At least he's understood. He's about to move to his next point, but pauses. ]

Which practice?

[deadelfwalking]

Offering yourself as a sacrificial lamb.

[highhealplz]

[ He frowns. ]

Whose sake do you say that for?

[deadelfwalking]

Yours.

[After a pause, and less emphatically --]

... and mine.

[highhealplz]

[ He nods; it's about what he'd expected, but it still manages to be both touching and exasperating. ]

Both times, with you and Seviliia, I'd warned someone with resurrection abilities that I might need their help if they didn't hear from me again. Even if either of you had managed to kill me, it would have turned out fine.

[ The second part is a little harder to reassure for, though. He glances down, thinking. ]

But, Koltira... this sort of thing is exactly what I've trained for.

[deadelfwalking]

Death is not the problem. Suffering is the problem. I do not want you to suffer.

[highhealplz]

I know. [ He smiles faintly. ] But I'm going to. I suffer because I can take it, and others can't.

[deadelfwalking]

[Koltira grinds his teeth.]

There are other ways. Seviilia and I must both pursue them.

[highhealplz]

[ The smile fades. ]

Do you mean suffering through the pain?

[deadelfwalking]

That is one way.

[highhealplz]

I don't like to see you suffering any more than you do me, Koltira. How else?

[deadelfwalking]

[He grunts.]

Discipline. Appropriate missions. Combat with the actual enemy.

[highhealplz]

When that's an option, yes, missions and combat against the UE is good. But discipline doesn't lessen your suffering. [ He arches a brow. ] Anything else?

[deadelfwalking]

[Getting really, really drunk ... Koltira scowls.]

Those things are all we need. All we should need.

[highhealplz]

They aren't always available, though.

[ well ok the discipline part is. but he's said his opinion of that option. ]

[deadelfwalking]

They will have to do. You are a man. You are not a resource.

[highhealplz]

And you're a friend. How can you expect me to watch you suffer, when I know I could help?

[deadelfwalking]

[Koltira grabs for Ashraf, hissing.]

Hurting you does not help me!

[highhealplz]

[ And in turn he lifts his hand from Koltira's knee to cup his face instead, unresistant to the grab. ]

My pain comes at no cost to me! It's gone whenever I want it to be.

[deadelfwalking]

[Koltira digs his claws into Ashraf's shoulders (too angry to catch the irony), snarling like an animal.]

It is not about you. You should realize this, after what we've just said to each other.

[highhealplz]

I know.

[ It's softer now. The pain at his shoulders doesn't bother him, he doesn't even seem to notice it, and his other hand rises to cover one of Koltira's. ]

But I'm trying to make you understand that it isn't something you need to be so concerned by. Withstanding damage was part of my every day life at home, all of my training was to be able to take it better.