[closed] we carry on as if our time is through

[invocation]

Date & Time: Prior to zombies and Madoka Magica roundtable.
Location: Moon base ofc. One of the empty rooms idk?
Characters: Kyouko and Sayaka
Summary: Talking about death. And lies via omission!
Warnings: Standard "they are from Madoka Magica" warning applies. So everything from violence, mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts and some sad girls kissing, probably.

[Looking for Sayaka had become, over time, less of a task and more of a single-minded, focused obsession. Kyouko needed very little sleep, she found, if she stopped thinking she needed it, and if she ate enough she didn't get tired anyway. But she is tired. It shows on her face, how worn out she is, an exhaustion more psychological than physical. The nights lasted forever here — it never let up. She saw stars in her brief, restless dreams. She saw the concert hall though, most of all.

Even though she knew she'd done the right thing (for once, in the long train of unforgivable mistakes she'd made in her life), the fallout of it was worse than she'd thought. She hadn't meant for this to happen though, in the moment she'd decided to die for Sayaka's sake. She hadn't realized that things would have changed like this. That her feelings would change, and Sayaka's too.

But there was no way to go back and change it now, and she wouldn't do that if she could. She'd made a promise, and she was hellbent on keeping it. Even if Sayaka pushed her away, even if she felt she didn't deserve it, Kyouko would stay. She wouldn't allow her to be alone, didn't want her to have to deal with the reality of the magical girls — and her death — all by herself.

The Soul Gem cupped in Kyouko's hands is a warm, soothing red light. It pulses brightly as a familiar magical signature gets closer and closer. Is Sayaka nearby?

She hopes so. She's tired.]

Comments

lateeeee

[invocation]

You're not — [Kyouko begins a protest, but then Sayaka kisses her, and it's all she can do to keep up. She kisses her back, but gently, and the part of her that enjoys it is drowned out by the part that is concerned and worried at this change. The change she'd recognized during the witch fights in Mitakihara, but hadn't been able to fix.

There's a chance now, a voice says, but that voice is very small. Sometimes Kyouko doubts her capacity to change others, especially Sayaka. It seemed that whoever she cared about, this happened: they were destroyed by others, or destroyed themselves. Remembering that, the danger inherent in allowing Sayaka to continue on in this way.

She pulls away from the kiss, but she keeps her hold on Sayaka's hands.] Hey. Listen to me.

i forgive you i guess

[fortissimos]

[ The kiss is the only thing keeping her grounded — when it finally ends, she's left with nothing but reality to confront, and that's never gone well for her before. This particular moment, this confrontation, she could easily run from; but it'll catch up with her eventually, just like everything else.

Instead of looking at the door, she buries her face in Kyouko's shoulder and tries not to shake. ]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not alone anymore, right? [ A pang of regret hits her almost instantly, and she sighs. ] Just get it over with.

[ Listening she can do. Actually taking in anything Kyouko says, well... that's a different matter, but at least she's willing to try. ]

[invocation]

I wasn't gonna say that.

[She turns away a little, though. Kyouko was, as a rule, not wounded by many things, but there was only so much she could deal with at once.]

So you can't be the person you used to be. That doesn't mean you just give up either.

[Carefully, as if worried about spooking her, she places her hand atop Sayaka's head.] You can be a new person.

[fortissimos]

There's no point.

[ She doesn't say it to be dismissive — it's just the truth. Kyouko's touch makes her shrink into herself a little more, but she somehow avoids flinching from the contact, even as she feels her chest tighten. ]

I was... I was supposed to be different from everyone. Like Mami-san was. [ Is, she supposes, but it's still hard to think of her as a person and not an ideal. ] I don't know how to be anything else.

[invocation]

There's always a point.

[She settles in closer, resting her chin atop Sayaka's head.] You don't have to be like her, y'know. [Quieter, she adds:] I like you as yourself.

[fortissimos]

I don't.

[ She never did, if she's being honest. That part of her answer comes fast, but she hesitates over the rest, fingers idly twitching against the floor. ]

But I... your opinion means a lot to me, too. Nobody's ever really told me that. [ That it's okay to be herself, instead of self-destructing in the quest for perfection. ] Do you really believe it?

[invocation]

[Well, that was another thing that they had in common, Kyouko thought. She didn't particularly like herself, either. This had been accepted a long time ago, and so there was no real pain that accompanied the thought. A fact was a fact.

But she pauses too, at what Sayaka says next. It makes her sad to think about, and somewhat baffled, that a person like Sayaka had never had anyone say, it's all right. I love you as you are.

It hurts a little, to think about, but at least she can help with this. Or try to, anyway.]

Yeah. I wouldn't lie about something like that. Oi...you bonehead. Do you think I woulda put up with you this long if I didn't like you as yourself? [She smiles a little, trying to lighten the mood.] You're pretty annoying, you know, and way too reckless, and loud and stubborn...

But I like you just fine.