[ When the homemade certificate is handed over, Caesar takes a few awfully long minutes going over it, the pen in hand. He half-expected most of these, considering how straightforward she's always been, but it'd be a lie to claim there wasn't at least some iota of scandal left by the time he got through reading it the first time. ]

How can a girl be such a pervert...?

[ He wonders aloud, even if, again, he's sure he knows the answer. She simply is. Ah, but she handed it over for editing, and so that's exactly what he'll do! ]

Several of these words are redundant up here. [ Circling 'nipping' and 'nibbling', as well as 'stroking' and 'caressing'! ] While this here?

[ Circling the whole line starting from 'including, but not limited to' up until 'as vouched for by'. ]

The second list makes no sense tacked on like that, since you already included what can be done towards these situations above. Also, I take offense at noogies. You need to leave the noogies out.

[ He says all of this in his incredibly bored tone, too! This is super serious, Collette, they need to take it seriously! It's editing! ]