exsiliumlogs | the reds go in with the whites right

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the reds go in with the whites right

Date & Time: Sometime between Caesar's vision returning and the day before Moonbasegiving.
Location: Los Angeles, the '90s
Characters: Caesar & Collette
Summary: After his vision finally returns, Caesar declares he's sick of this place and finally goes on a mission. Laundry mission. Doing a lot of laundry, in real laundry machines, and chilling in LA for a few days while at it.
Warnings: dumb teens

[ Los Angeles! Laundry! A few days off from a horrifying moon base to do burn resources on something incredibly mundane, but wow, won't it be nice to have actually clean sheets and towels (and whatever else) that weren't washed in a shower that only runs for five minutes?

Yeah. Thought so. ]

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[ If there weren't something more pressing would be the key part. If he had people and time to spare, of course, but... Some thoughts simply aren't worth dwelling on just yet.

Meanwhile, he move his head away at the nibble, a little surprised. ]

Hey, don't do that as a pigeon. That's weird.

[ Affection from what's basically a flying rat? No thank you! Ugh.

But onward to their target building! He stops to look the direction she's pointed out, then turns to approach nice and slowly. He'll scope out the back and sides some before finding the fire escape. With the ladder up, he'll need to do some work.

Work.

He sighs and sets the bag down, instead turning to find a trash can that might work as a leg up to it. ]

This would be easier if you could be a giant owl...

( No point counting chickens until they've hatched. Thinking about the things that might come up one day, and who it is more likely to be let down...

Definitely not worth dwelling on. )

< So I get free license when I'm a girl? Sweet! >

( Silver lining forever, okay! Clearly that's what saying don't do that as a bird means.

She really could make this slightly easier, but instead of flying off his shoulder to watch from above, she adjusts herself and keeps a hold on his shoulder. It's more like an unplanned amusement ride that way -- not that she'll venture to tell this to Caesar anytime soon. )

< A giant owl would be so cool... scary, too! Can't hear them coming, better hope you see them first! >

( She's imagining gigantic owls now, feathers fluffing up as she blinks her way through the mental images. )

< I have a demon cat that could get us up there, but it would stand out if anyone saw. >

Didn't you already have free license to everything before as a girl?

[ It sure felt like that sometimes! Finding a mostly empty can, he upturns it, sending the trash in it out onto the alley floor. That gets dragged back over and set, upside-down, under the ladder in question. ]

We have them back home, out in the forests. Not that I've ever seen one.

[ Now to climb up onto the trash can! Hang on, Collette. It gets a little bumpy here. Once the first rung of the ladder comes within grasp, he yanks on it until it comes down, barely missing the trash can itself. Caesar was expecting that, though he still startles enough to nearly lose his balance! ]

Ah! [ But grabbing the ladder at the last second keeps them (and the can) from tumbling over. ] Well. That would've hurt...

< I had a pass for exploration. Now I'm certified! >

( Those statements make no sense, though the feeling behind them makes a little more sense than her words. Of course she'd always been pushing and testing boundaries. Hearing anything explicitly permissive makes her feel like she's doing something right, not just guessing at what he likes or doesn't like. For someone who does like pleasing people (though usually less literally about pleasure), it's the kind of feedback she particularly enjoys.

Not that she thinks on it long, being the one bird-woman audience to Caesar's shenanigans. Her wings flare open enough to brush against his cheek when he startles, catching himself. She scrambles backward, trying to avoid digging in her talons. He wasn't wearing anything ready to put up with that kind of abuse! )

< Woah! Hahaha, good thing you didn't fall, then! You've always had good reflexes. Must be the monkey in you! >

( As clearly that was why he was such a climber. )

< I wish I could see giant owls... From a distance! >

More squirrel than monkey, I think.

[ It's the red! He shakes his head in a vaguely amused way before clambering back down to retrieve the bag. Now comes the hard part, trying to climb a ladder with a relatively heavy bag in hand! And water is heavy, when there's a lot of it.

But with the top of the bag wrapped around his hand, he'll manage to keep a hold of it while still using both hands to climb. Once the ladder is cleared, it's just the fire escape stairs, which is far easier. ]

So is there anything I need to sign to confirm this certification? Because that would be hilarious.

( Riding this all out, Collette is positively hunkered down on his shoulder. The bright side is anyone seeing this would think some kid spent far too much time feeding a fat pigeon into friendliness than think it's actually all that weird.

God bless L.A. )

< We had a pad of paper back at the hotel, didn't we? >

( Teasing as she is, she'll still totally write something up. No idea what, but she will! )

< Squirrelsberg. It does have a certain ring to it--! >

( She takes to wing once they're at the top, flying to the far end to start pacing the ledge and surveying the ground and sidewalk beneath. The way things are set up, they'd be able to throw down to the street corner and be hidden from eyes looking up. Huh... that has potential! )

We did. [ He can't help but smile, a little amused at the question. ] That's going to be the worst written certificate of all time.

[ And now they're on the roof! Which leaves Caesar playing catch up when she flies off like that, but whatever. He strolls across the roof casually to the edge she settled on and puts the bag down. ]

Now to decide where to cause traffic accidents, hmm?

< Caesar! >

( She laughs over Thought Speak, coming to a standstill and turning her head his way to focus on his face. )

< You're so bad! But if we're looking at prime locations... >

( She holds one wing away from the core of her body, waving it toward one corner of the street. )

< Looks like we have the perfect pedestrian high traffic zone! >

( Which it appears to be indeed, as long as one of the two of them can launch watercondomballoons in a twenty foot arc out and away from the roof they're on to go crashing down with relatively little harm into the crowd that semi-regularly crosses this decently busy intersection.

... Man, it's amazing what a few streets away can be like, traffic wise! )

< I'lll have you know my handwriting is absolutely impeccable! >

( Comes the late rejoinder to the "worst written certificate of all time." Sometimes taking things the wrong way is more fun than taking them the right. )

Your lettering will be atrocious.

[ Compared to when he goes all out on maps, that is! But shh, shhhh.

He looks the way she gestures towards with the wing and creeps carefully towards that edge to peer on over. He isn't worried about being close to it, just that someone might spot him up there. Then their stupid little game would be all over! ]

I should wait for spaces between people to toss them. Well, just before them. There'll be space by the time they finish passing.

< You'll see! >

( She's seen his all out, and she's seen him the majority of the time.

She ain't worried when looking at that majority of the time, Mr. Cartographer! Nonetheless, she considers his words, head moving as she continues to evaluate the people passing below.

She loves that he can think seriously about something as ridiculous as they're about to do. )

< Watch a few cycles through the lights to figure out the timing, then let loose? Sounds like a plan to me! >

( The cooing sound she produces is flavor text. She promises. )

[ They will see!

Eventually.

Just not now, so, instead he settles in to watch the flow of pedestrian traffic for a bit. There seems to be enough leeway between groups of people that timing won't be too difficult. Still... ]

And I imagine you expect me to throw all of them over...

< I have been secretly wanting to see your overhand toss...! >

( She laughs, tucking her wing in tight and looking around for something else. Ah-ha! )

< Though if you want to bring that deck chair in the corner over, I can help too! Even oooh and ahhh like a good cheerleader slash girlfriend. >

( His choice! She's nonplussed if she's directly aiding or letting him do the hard work in all this. )

[ Only that takes an effort all on its own!

Also he has to wonder what's up with the chair at all...

No matter. Caesar sighs and shakes his head, then takes a moment to settle his hair back into place once the wind up here knocks it around a bit. ]

You know, on second thought, it'll be faster this way.

[ So he opens the bag and watches the foot traffic below again, waiting. When he does find a good opening, one that might startle but not actually hit anyone, he lugs a terrible watercondomballoon out and hefts it into the air and over the edge! ]

( She laughs, scuttling closer and peering over the edge as he lets the balloon go! Down it falls, smacking to the street and bursting into a fountain of water behind a group of people passing, some of the water splashing up underneath a woman's skirt. She shrieks, reaching for her behind, turning around and glaring at an older man passing to her side.

Her words are hard to make out, but the expressions she and the man make are entertaining, particularly as they don't seem to recognize what's just happened! )

< Nice one C! >

( She gives a literal coo out loud along with even more laughter! )

They aren't very observant, are they?

[ Guess the entire 'no one ever looks up' joke is more right than it is wrong. He falls into a crouch at the roof's edge, leaning on the slight rise of brick stacked up around the perimeter.

He watches and waits the same as before, waiting for a good moment, then over goes the second one! This time it'll hit the ground right after a group of kids! ]

< It's not everyone's strong suit to expect the unexpected. >

( She skitters along the ledge, keeping her head turning to maintain focus on the kids. When the watercondomballoon hits, it sends shrieks among all of them, along with the startled questions and accusations of -- "who threw that?!"

They still, for the most part, don't look up, casting around each other and making the far side of the road and speaking loudly over one another, attempting to solve the mystery. No one seems to have noted the ruptured remains of the condom, sad and shrunken, by the sidewalk. )

< Haha! Man, they're totally not looking up here! >

( Only what would happen... if the watercondomballoon didn't break? )

[ They're about to find out.

Caesar waits for the next opportunity to present itself before tossing the third balloon out over the edge, sending it hurtling to the sidewalk below. Only this time, rather than break and splash on the people it's fallen between, it...

Bounces. ]

What? [ And now Caesar's squinting at it. ] It didn't go.

< When they say those things are built to last--! >

( Collette quips, even as someone in that most recent group ends up sighting the watercondomballoon and calling out, "What's that?" People start looking up as well as around, and -- )

< Caesar, duck! >

[ Yeah, he doesn't need to be warned twice.

He more or less shoves himself away from the roof's edge and lands on his backside further in, away and well out of sight. ]

...uh. They're probably going to guess we're up here sooner or later now.

[ Which he says quietly! Even if he suspects the sound of general traffic would keep a single voice from above from being heard, there's hardly a reason to take a chance. ]

( Watching one of the younger people pick up the unbroken water balloon, she cocks her head to the side and starts laughing spontaneously when it bursts in the young man's hands. )

< It broke when he picked it up, right all over his chest! We need to get out of her. Team Waterballoons, away! >

( Taking wing and flying over him, she backwinged as she hit the ground, continuing to flap her wings at the laundry bag. )

< Let's ditch the extra ammo! >

And by let's, you mean me.

[ Since he's the only one with arms here! Again with having to do things, again! It does mean they get to go back to the laundromat, though, which, while still dull, doesn't cut so much into his chances to take a nap.

He scoots close enough to the roof's edge to grab the bag and pull it back with him to a safer area, one he can stand up in.

Then it's turning the bag out and lettings the waterballoons fall to the rooftop. Without the actual distance of the longer drop, these ones just... remain. Unbroken. Who knows how long they'll be up here, but that isn't their problem anymore! ]

And off we go.

[ He folds the laundry bag up as he turns to stroll back over to the fire escape. ]

( Collette took back to wing, circling around and doing a fly over while Caesar worked. She crossed out over to the building across the way, turning her head to the side to observe the scene on the street. Wanting to be sure no one was turning in to the alley, likely to run into Caesar, she kept on wing, knowing that another pigeon in Los Angeles was nothing worth noting to most locals. )

< Luck's with us! No one's coming toward the alley, you should be safe getting back down! >
<,small>( Out of sight as she might be, she took to the skies again, flying over the building to monitor his progress, they fly past for an idea of the alley again. )

[ With the laundry bag empty and tucked in his belt, leaving his hands free, the trip back down the fire escape and then its ladder goes quickly. He'll be back on the ground in the alley within two minutes and casually turning to stroll away.

The opposite way of where they were throwing stuff, of course.

Yep, nothing suspicious here! ]

( Looks like they're in the clear! Collette flies back over Caesar's path, circling around to come down closer with a call of: )

< Coast's clear! Think you can handle one fat pigeon coming in for a landing? >

Edited 2013-12-01 21:15 (UTC)

Nope. Waaay too fat.

[ Said as he continues strolling along, entirely certain she's going to land anyway. ]

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crocodilesmiles - 2013-12-02 07:28 (UTC) - Expand

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