controlledvariable: (Batgirl -- minimalist)
(ง︡'-'︠)ง ([personal profile] controlledvariable) wrote in [community profile] exsiliumlogs2013-11-16 11:12 pm

[various] "secretly you love this, do you even wanna go free?"

Date & Time: 16th - 27thth; various
Location: all about the moon base
Characters: Steph, Saul, Jesse, Dick, Max Kearney, YOU
Summary: Steph's working against the mutiny and mostly having her trauma buttons pushed + aftermath
Warnings: Claustrophobia, panic attacks, someone's mind being messed with, discussion of sexual assault, violence, death, references to child abuse. I meant what I said about trauma buttons.
Notes: There's an open section for anyone who wants to run into Steph, whatever side they're on (or if they're neutral)! If you'd like something more specific, hit me up and we can work it out.


→ Saul and Jesse; 16th; 0400 hours

[So far, she's had no problems with the teleportation power that Jesse gave her; it's simple to use, all she has to do is imagine where she wants to be, and there she is. It means that as soon as she thinks transporter room and ends up in pitch black darkness, she knows that something has gone very wrong. Her first instinct is to try teleporting out, but she ignores it for the moment, knowing it's better to take stock of the situation before making any rash moves. She breathes in and focuses for a second, feeling the room around her. The air is cramped, stale, which means it's small and poorly ventilated, and there's no light source anywhere.

And now that she's paying attention, she can pick up the sickly smell of very, very old corpses.

It's all downhill from there.

Her fingers scrambled at her belt as she pulls out a torch, turning it on and shining it around the room; it's as small as she expected, three of the four walls smooth, but the final one has what looks like it might have been a door, once, but the metal is warped and twisted almost beyond recognition, and when she roughly shoves her shoulder against it, the thing doesn't even budge. The fact she's alone is only a small comfort, and she can already feel panic starting to rise in her chest.

Now she tries to teleport out, but nothing happens, as if she doesn't have the power at all.

She's trapped.

For a few long moments, she's frozen in fear, breath coming short and shallow as the light from the torch flickers, and she's terrified it's going to run out and leave her in the dark, before she realizes it's flickering because her hand is shaking so badly.]


C'mon, Brown.

[It's barely a mutter, her grip tightening on the torch and her other hand curling into a fist, gloved fingers digging into her palm.

That was a stupid move, because as soon as she's made a fist, she lashes out at the door, as if it might force it open, but all that happens is pain shoots through her knuckles and jars her arm. But she can't keep it together after that; she drops the torch and shoves both hands against the door. There's no metal, suddenly, no cloying smell of decaying bodies, just wood under her hands and the sound of her father shouting at her mom, or at her, muffled through the closet door as she scrambles at the wood and tries to push it open. It doesn't matter that there was never enough room in the closet to get a run up, to stretch her arms out and push on creaking metal, because the memories are so vivid and the panic so sharp that it's all she can see.

She loses track of time, all she can hear is her ragged, panicked breathing and her heartbeat in her ears and the thunk of metal as she tries to force her way out.

It isn't until she takes as much of a run up as she can and barges her shoulder against the door that she snaps out of the panicked haze, and that's only because the pain cuts through it so sharply, along with the sickening sound of her shoulder dislocating.

Between the fear and the pain, it's enough to make tears prick at her eyes, and she punches the door one last time out of sheer anger at how terrified she is, before leaning back against it and sinking to the floor, arm cradled across her chest. She digs the fingers of her other hand against her closed eyelids, trying to fight back tears and panic; that's not going to get her out of this, but she can't focus past that stupid, ingrained fear.

She tries to teleport again, and lets out a strangled sob when it doesn't work.

But while she hasn't calmed down, not by a long shot, if she focuses on the pain in her shoulder she can actually move past the panic, at least enough to start thinking of solutions.

The network is down, but--

There's a muttered string of curses, mostly self-flagellation for being so stupid. She has her communicator in her cowl, and Babs helped her fix it up so that it'll connect to both Babs' communicators, and to Saul's bluetooth earpiece. She should call Babs, but the communicator is part of her suit, which mean it's part of her weapon, so as soon as she remembers it's possible, it starts trying to reach to Saul.

She doesn't even realize she's murmuring please pick up over and over again.]



→OTA; 16th-18th; from 1200 to 1200 hours

[Once she's calmed down from the teleportation misadventure (and had a quick nap, at both Saul and Babs' request), Steph gets to work on fixing this damn problem. It's a little tricky for those first few hours while the gravity is still all over the place, but she adapts well enough. Her first priority is securing the spaceship, because if the Transporter room is out of reach, there's no way she's losing their other only option of getting the hell off this base, should something go wrong. As soon as she's happy with that, she starts on the long list of other problems that need fixing.

The lights and network are still down and the doors aren't under control; the latter two are the real problems, since it's tricky to communicate and get places with those systems offline. The doors don't bother Steph so much, except she's a little more cautious about teleporting places, mostly going places she's sure of, rather than trying anything too tricky and risking ending up trapped again.

Still, she moves around a lot, dropping into the housing wings occasionally to make sure everyone is doing alright, before heading out to do what she can about the technical problems. She's not, well, Babs, but if there's wiring that can be fixed or systems that can be hacked and taken over, she'll be making an effort to manage it, with varying degrees of success. As she goes (before the lights are back online) she sticks emergency work lights to the walls and over any working doors, to help people move through the base; they're from her belt, and the batteries will only last a few hours, but it's better than nothing.

She very rarely takes breaks, popping into the cafeteria long enough to grab something quick and easy to eat, or finding a spot near where Babs and Saul are set up to catch a few minutes of sleep. She's more likely to stop to talk to people, trying to coordinate efforts to get systems back online, or to figure out more of what, exactly, is going on. But her main priority is action, leaving the organization to people who are better at it. This isn't like the zombies, where she was willing to trust other people to hold down the fort, if she needed a break.

She doesn't know who she can trust or not, but she's moving about the base with purpose, and from the snippets of conversation that can be caught as she speaks into the earpiece in her cowl, it's clear she's trying to fix this. And it's clear she's not impressed with the situation, judging by the angry mutters and tension in her posture that never quite seems to leave.]



→Max Kearny; 19th; 0120 hours

[As soon as they've got the doors back online, she gives a curt goodbye to Jaime and Batwoman, then disappears towards the Transporter room. She knows she could likely take them with her, but once she's scoped out the situation she wants to go and get Jesse so he can disable anyone with powers, and she's not sure if there's a limit on how many she can carry.

Anyway, first things first, and that's reappearing in the housing wing a reasonable distance from the Transporter room, since she isn't entirely sure how far the field of... redirection magic extends, and she really doesn't want to end up trapped again. It's little further than she'd like to be, but it gives her a chance to sneak close and check things out before throwing herself into a fight, and hopefully there'll be less guards down this way.

That doesn't mean it won't be guarded at all, but when the only person she sees down the end of the hall is Max, she figures it's something she can handle herself, if this turns bad. Max is good, Steph's seen her fight, but she's good, too. And she's got anger behind her, which is always an advantage, so long as she channels it right.

Her hand goes to her staff, though she doesn't pull it free from her belt just yet.]


Please tell me you haven't thrown your lot in with these idiots.

[She does, actually, like Max. And anger aside, Steph doesn't want to hurt her friends, even when they're being completely fucking stupid.]


→ Dick Grayson + Saul Goodman; 19th; 0145 hours

[Max told her to find somewhere safe to wait this out, and Steph doesn't see any reason not to do it; she has no interest in this fight, even though she's sure she cared about the outcome a few minutes ago. But it doesn't matter, if she's stopped caring, it can't have been that important, so she tucks her staff back onto her belt and teleports back to the Housing wing. It should be safe there, out of the way, and anyway, she's kind of tired (when was the last time she slept?) so going to her room to take a nap doesn't seem like a bad idea.

She starts peeling off the Batgirl suit as she goes, tucking the gloves into her belt and folding the cape and cowl over an arm. The whole thing's heavy, and all that armor and symbolism seems a bit pointless. It really can't all be that important.]



→ Sonya Karimov; 19th; sometime between 0200 and 0230

[Saul tells her to stay put, but he's busy trying to co-ordinate something - she really wasn't paying attention to the details - and she really is kind of tired (and hungry; seriously, when was the last time she slept or ate?) so she decides to go find somewhere to take a nap. Saul might wonder where she's got to, but that doesn't really matter, it's not her problem, and anyway, she doesn't want to deal with someone being so... weird. About her.

It's easy enough to slip away, especially when so many people are heading in the opposite direction, towards the transporter room, since apparently something important is happening in there. Well, she knows what's happening, they're trying to take back the Transporter from the people who decided to have themselves a little mutiny, but none of it really matters. Who cares who's in control of the Transporter? It's not like it's going to change anything.

Someone runs past her, and she turns to watch them, before shaking her head and heading on her way again. At which point she bumps into someone.]


Sorry.

[It's an automatic response, she doesn't really care enough to be sorry, and she's already moving again without really acknowledging whoever it was.]

→ Saul; sometime fuck if I know

[As soon as she leaves Sonya, Steph reappears in her own, empty room. There's no cursory glance around to see if Ellie or Joel or Tess might have been around recently; they're not here, but it doesn't concern her beyond that. No matter how much she should be worride.

The only thing she really thinks is that she can finally get some rest. There's no relief behind it, but her body is exhausted after the past few days of barely sleeping, and it makes sense to her, that she should rest.

With her shoes kicked off and no worries to occupy her thoughts the way they normally do, she's asleep almost instantly.]



→ Ellie; sometime after the 21st

[The first couple of nights after... everything, she can't go back to her room. She knows she should, but all she does is send Ellie a text to let her know that she's going to be staying somewhere else for a while. She needs the familiar comfort of Babs, or Saul, or the feeling of safety that Jesse offers purely by existing and having the powers he does.

No one can do anything like that her again, so long as she's near him.

But she can't avoid her room forever, and she can't avoid Ellie forever; Steph needs to make sure that she's alright, after everything that happened. When she slinks into the room, she's not Batgirl anymore, dressed in tights, a tank top, and a rumpled, bright blue business shirt that looks at least three sizes too big for her. She feels guilty for having been away for so long, even if it's only been a few days, so her voice is a little hesitant when she speaks up.]


Hey, kiddo.

[Please don't be mad.]

→ Peter Rumancek; 25th ; late

[She tells Peter to come meet her in the VR room, and heads there to wait, wanting a few moments alone before she has to be around another person. It gives her time to set up the simulation, choosing something... completely different from anything she's made before.

The Guban plains are cold at night, but the bite of it is welcome, as is the sheer stretch of emptiness as far as the eye can see, interrupted only by sparse scrub and boulders, the sound of a stream in the distance. Last time she was here there were medical tents set up, vehicles parked and people miling about, but right now it's empty except for her.

She brought two glasses along with the bottle of tequila, and she forced herself to focus long enough to make a few sandwiches for them both, so they're not drinking on an empty stomach, and because she's noticed that Peter's been losing weight while on the moon.

She won't start drinking without him, but she does start on one half of a sandwich, picking at it slowly while she waits, trying to find something comforting in the fake night air.]


werewolfing: (maybe we started this fire)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-07 01:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't look at me, I got some kinda sign on my head that says not one of you. I had two friends at home, maybe three if you squint, and we're all fuckin' weirdos. But most people are more screwed up than they look.

Course, folks who end up here seem to be the cream of that crop.

[somehow it doesn't sound like a bad thing when he says it, though.]
werewolfing: (you're fireproof)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-07 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[it is pretty unlikely that steph has ever seen peter blush, and since it's kind of dark maybe she's still not seeing it very well, but he definitely does, dropping his head so his hair falls in his face as he gives a nervous little half laugh. it's not the kiss, although that does catch him off-guard. it's the compliment. peter's been called good before--a good boy, a good son, a good man--but not a good friend.]

I don't know about that. But I'm trying.

[which is notable in itself, because he's never really put effort into making connections before. even the godreys came to him, not the other way around.]
werewolfing: (and i keep none)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-07 03:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it's kinda weird. The trying.

[he really doesn't know what he's doing, and he's kinda scared of inevitably screwing it up, because there's never really been stakes before. he's never needed people he could lose in ways that would be his fault.

he rocks steph's body with his shoulder, ruffles her hair.
]

I'm definitely not drunk enough for you to start telling me pretty things.
werewolfing: (and we sure as hell have nothing now)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-07 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Remember that when I fuck it up.

[but he's chuckling when he says it, and he reaches for the bottle to refill their glasses. he can't really deny that this is a hell of a lot better than the past couple days have been.]

Drinking and sappiness are a traditional part of this whole deal.
werewolfing: (at the end of the night)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[instead of directly answering that, he just raises his glass to toast her with a rather large swallow of tequila.]

Ah, Rumanceks kick it on a pretty regular basis. Excellent life choices and all. That was the first one of these I've done sober since my balls dropped.
werewolfing: (it's harder than you think)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
What, balls? [he grins. of course, he hasn't told steph about his swadisthana, either.] Anyway, it wasn't just me, it was everyone. Our funerals are...different.

[he shrugs.]

And life goes on.
werewolfing: (and i keep none)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[for some reason that strikes him as very funny.]

You have no idea.

[peter perhaps when you are drunk is not the time to explain your magical balls]
werewolfing: (it's just the way you are)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[he waves a hand, dismissing his laughter and her look, then picks up his drink and sips.]

You know anything about chakras?
werewolfing: (telling dreams from one another)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Yep. Swadisthana.

[he says it precisely, like he knows she's going to go look it up later.]

The universe has a frequency, you know. It'll tell you things, if you know how to hear it. And that's where I hear it. Destiny, my cousin, she got the third eye business, but I like this better. Don't really want to see things.
werewolfing: (and we sure as hell have nothing now)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[that's cute and it makes him smile.]

You got it. Fancy as shit.
werewolfing: (we are the last people standing)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Not usually. Uncomfortable sometimes. Like lemme tell you how sick that planet is. Less sick than after the bombs, but still. Frequency's all fucked.
werewolfing: (in the cold morning light)

[personal profile] werewolfing 2014-01-08 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
That second one. It's...cancer-sick, I guess. They made it that way, twisted shit up and made it wrong.

[he shrugs.]

Time travel fixed some of the nuclear wasteland, but whatever's down there isn't right. Not even close.

[he reaches over and pokes her lightly in the pit of the stomach, right between her belly button and pubic bone.]

Right there, that's where you know things.

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