[open] eyes on your goodbyes

[firstroar]

Date & Time: Dec 5 - 20
Location: Moonbase
Characters: Blue, you
Summary: Can't shake those watcher ways (DEETS)
Warnings: ? notify me


While some rushed, leaping at the chance to leave, Blue lingered with the hesitant and stubborn who held back for a time. It wasn't for lack of curiosity; the artificial intelligence had given him the footage of life back in Exsilium, the possibility of life and continued hope. Fresh hope, even; who knew who was waiting for them below?

But after the whirlwind of conflict and mounting frustrations that suffocated the hold wall to wall, Blue longed for the chance to breathe again. And, in the same way one finds relief in opening the window of a stuffy house, Blue's mind and heart could feel refreshed...and itself again. It was easy to get lost in the emotions of others, so packed together and so heated; he needed time to recollect himself.

Recollect and reconsider. Collette had been right; it was time. And Gamora was right, too – there was too much chance for sinking back into the stagnant routines, broken up only by more disaster. He had a window of opportunity to consider, and it wasn't one to keep to himself.

The air of hope that came with the exodus bolstered the notion, and Blue, more himself again, could turn outward once more and consider these strange and fascinating people around him. It would be more on them than him, truly. He knew that. But he didn't know them.

So, by lingering as others prepared to leave, he gave his attention to the swirl of changing moods and thoughts, to the passing conversations and dreams around him – all the things within the reach of his mind. A little further than that, to those he deemed friends; their well-being mattered more than his, after all.

Comments

[oldsoldiersneverdie]

I know, but... [The mix of emotions is a familiar one to him - the pull between what must be done, and what he wishes he could do. Even in a different world, the burdens of the Chosen One haven't vanished]

There's so much to do.

[firstroar]

Yes.

[he puts a hand on Nate's shoulder, as much to keep his balance as he moves to sit as it is to offer comfort.]

Maybe there always will be. But, as I've been told again and again in my own case... [smiling wanly at him.] Much of that can't be done if you're not taken care of, yourself.

[oldsoldiersneverdie]

[And in that moment, it's hard not to notice Blue's fragility - something that's always been there, but seems more apparent right now] I know. [It's the sort of argument he's had more than once with Domino, who, for someone with a luck-knack, was somehow still incredibly skeptical of foreordained duties.] I have the strength for it, but I'm just so tired. Tired of doing the same damned thing over and over and over.

[firstroar]

[those are words too painfully familiar to even think to try and gloss over with condolences.

he knows this bitter weariness; he's in it.

his head droops and leans, resting against the hand still set on Nate's shoulder, eyes closing. it's a weakening of guard he rarely gives up, but this is somebody he trusts, considers much like himself.]

I know.

[oldsoldiersneverdie]

[It's easier to give telepathic support, a little push of emotion, than to show it physically. He's never been good at that - never had the space to learn how, really]

It's hard, knowing people depend on you.

[firstroar]

Unbearable, sometimes.

[a beat.]

But we're still here. With...a lot more people to depend on, in turn. Isn't that right?

[oldsoldiersneverdie]

Maybe. Most of the people I'm used to depending on aren't here, though. Trust like that... it takes time.

[firstroar]

It's a mutual thing. And it's time we don't have, somehow...for all this talk of changing it for the better.

[oldsoldiersneverdie]

I know. People think time travel solves it, that you end up with more time than you thought you had, but in the end - it all seems to balance out. And right now, if we don't take the opportunity we have....