[ Open ] A Home for the Holidays

[maddeninghatter]

Date & Time: December 10th - 21st
Location: The Museum of Old and New(ish) Art
Characters: Xerxes Break and you. Information about and a map to the castle has been left in the Transporter Facility, so anyone interested in renovating a warm and secure (if weird) place to stay is welcome.
Summary: An eccentric billionaire’s 27th century medieval-replica castle/art museum/hotel lies abandoned and half-buried in the snow. It’s going to take a lot of work to renovate, but hey it’s more kid-friendly than a brothel. Right? Right?
Warnings: None.

The 1980's ski-wear themed snow suits Break brought back from this mission proved to be a hit with the local population (so stylish!), as were Mister Cecil's ugly Christmas sweaters, so they have been able to trade for goods and some technical services, to help make this place more livable. Supplies from the DITR have also been a great help. However, a lot of work needs to be done: cleaning and vermin-smiting and clearing away snow. Come and help, or simply explore.

(ooc: feel free to start threads willy-nilly, action-spam or prose, name your time and place, threadjack and mingle.)


(1) Museum:

The stairway forces you straight down, past four floors, into the very dungeons of the castle. There are no windows; it was artificially lit, although the electricity isn't on at present. However, the old geothermal power generation system in the structure is simple and robust, so only a small amount of tweaking will be required to get it operational once more. In the meantime, the DITR has kindly supplied you with bright uber-LED flashlights and batteries with advanced energy storage, meaning they should stay lit for weeks. Should.

As soon as you emerge in the dungeons, you’ll find yourself lost in a maze of gallery after gallery. High sandstone walls rise up, towering over everything. What was once a set of opulent velvet curtains lining the art spaces hang in rags, having long since been devoured by rats.

Many of the paintings are destroyed, but most are intact, as are the sculptures and installations, preserved in the deep freeze. The subject matter is bizarre and disturbing. Take this human centipede for instance. And what on earth does this machine do? What’s that smell….

However, some of the “artworks” are playful and interactive. Try a game of ping pong on an accordion-shaped table; or jump on a trampoline in a cage with bells underneath; or find the white library, full of blank books (don’t deface the art!).

Try not to get lost.


(2) Castle/Hotel:

The upper levels of the castle were hotel rooms, long ago. Alas, all of the sheets and bedding were made into nests by rats. Here too, the lush velvet curtains hang in rags, and the wool carpets over the stone floors have lost their battle to the moths.

Yet most of the furniture remains intact, as well as the elaborate chandeliers. Compact heaters will keep the spaces at a near-comfortable temperature, and sleeping bags will do for now.

Let’s get cleaning!


(3) R&R

All that hard work has finally paid off. The geothermal power system is now providing electricity and abundant steam heat, and multiple hotel rooms are in habitable shape. Most importantly, the kitchen is functional. it's time to relax with a cup of hot spiced wine (or chocolate) and pastry. Some mischievous person has hung mistletoe over various random entranceways, so look sharp!


(4) Playing in the snow

The weak December sun makes an appearance, illuminating the ice crystals in the frigid air, creating a sun dog. The snow sparkles like white diamonds. It’s still freezing, but how can you stay inside on a day like this? Anyway, the snow needs shoveling, but perhaps there’s time to make a snowman (or snow angels).


(5) Penguins:

In addition to vermin of the four-legged, tailed and whiskered variety, this castle is home to a flock of penguins. These might be the principal reason the castle has lain abandoned all these years. They can be found anywhere in or around the structure. Approach with caution. Or better yet —



— run away.

Comments

[retraced]

[Gilbert is momentarily distracted by the sight of the poor sucker getting kicked across the room and directly into the wall, enough so that it gives the others time to rush forward and headbutt his knees in the hopes of taking him down. He stumbles, but quickly regains his footing so that the two of them can book it down the hallway.

Their entourage follows, of course, filling the hall with oppressive threatening atmosphere.]

How did they all get inside?! Have they been in here the whole time...?!

[soul_sister]

I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I was just cleaning the main room when I heard something weird in the bathroom and they were all in the tub!

[She keeps pace with the mastery of one who runs away from insane circumstances ALL THE TIME. Behind them the honks and flapping wings get just a little bit quieter as they gain some distance but there.... there up ahead was salvation.

A STAIRWELL.]

It wasn't my fault!

[retraced]

[And the lights of heaven and shoujo sparkles illuminate their path on the way to said salvation, but Gilbert still can't help but glance over his shoulder to make sure that tiny penguin legs aren't able to keep up with them. Who knows, future penguins might have evolved with different types of powers the same way that people from different universes had. He's half expecting lasers to shoot out of their eyes.]

The next time you hear something weird in this place, don't just go looking into it yourself! Isn't it obvious how dangerous this building is?!

[soul_sister]

I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF HANDLING DANGER BY MYSELF! I COULD TOTALLY TAKE--

[With a vicious, triumphant squawk, one of the penguins has discovered that the polished wooden floor that everyone had worked so hard on... was just as good for sliding as ice. It rockets after their prey with abnormal speed. The others, seeing this avian brilliance, follow suit.]

HURRY!

[retraced]

[HIS CLEANING SKILLS HAVE FINALLY BACKFIRED. He knew this day would come, he just didn't realize it would come in the form of angry penguins.

So he shuts his mouth and runs as fast as his legs will move.]

[soul_sister]

[They no sooner make that first step when there's WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP of angry penguins sliding into the stairs. She pauses to look down.]

Can... can they climb?

[Those flippers look pretty useless... The penguins, having stood up, mill angrily a few steps below.]

[retraced]

[He pauses and grasps the wall across from her, turning to look down at the angry, flailing penguins below.]

No...their legs are too short, there's no way that they could -

[Except that's when they start leaning forward on their bellies and wiggling their way up, step by step. Stupid smart penguins.]

1/3

[soul_sister]

.... this...

[soul_sister]

THEY'RE UNSTOPPABLE!

[She backs up for a moment, face pale as if seeing the rise of the next great apex predator.]

[soul_sister]

No....

We CAN'T let them get upstairs! There are helpless idiots up that way!



[She grabs Gilbert by the shoulders and shakes. He has their one salvation. A SIMPLE CLEANING TOOL.]

SWEEP THEM OFF!

1/4

[retraced]

[stares at her]

2/4

[retraced]

[stares at the broom in his hands]

3/4

[retraced]

[casually decides that the moment he regrets most in life currently is the day that he befriended Rosette Christopher and took upon himself all of the bad luck and extreme misfortune that she seems to attract so effortlessly]

4/4

[retraced]

[But she's right. This will be their only chance of escape, and with it, survival. He narrows his eyes, plants his feet on the staircase and then grips both hands around the broom handle, turning it around to wield it like a hockey stick.

Meanwhile, the penguins advance step by step, their honking and hissing getting louder as they flop up each stair.]

[soul_sister]

[She waits, behind him, gun in hand as a last resort... as she REALLY didn't want to destroy that hallway... they'd worked HOURS on it. It's a breathless moment as the first penguin flops its way onto the step below Gilbert, honking with deadly avian intent.

It turns out, that for all their determination, cunning and perseverance, penguins notably lack traction. The broom sweeps it off of the steps and sends it sliding madly down the entire staircase with ridiculous ease.]

YES!

[retraced]

Gaaaah!

[Gilbert gives a resolute battle cry as he steps forward and swings again, knocking another penguin down the stairs and back into the pile. The honking grows louder, and the floor seems to move beneath them, a creepy avian optical illusion. As smart as they are, however, they don't seem to be smart enough to back down just yet. They continue climbing, and Gilbert continues swatting them off one by one.

Called out over his shoulder in between swings:]

Get upstairs! Hurry!

[maddeninghatter]

[ Although the penguins at the front of the brigade keep attempting to clamber back up the stairs, the rear guard quietly backs off.

There is some complicated honking and wing waggling; and then several of them waddle off, back down the corridor. More follow. ]

[soul_sister]

[She scrambles back a few steps and hesitates at the door.]

DON'T BE STUPID, you'd better follow me!

[Suicide via penguin is an epitaph that no man deserves to have.]

[retraced]

[He might have argued, except it seems like most of them are starting to back off. Maybe the penguins really are smarter than he gave them credit for.

One last penguin blasted off down the stairs to join the rest and he turns to run after her, broom still clutched tightly in his hands.]

G-go! I'll catch up!

1/2

[maddeninghatter]

[ As Gilbert runs, escape within his reach, he'll hear a sound which should be all too familiar. A mechanical sound, a relentless humming... ]

[maddeninghatter]

[ That's right. The penguins have attained flight. ]



[ Standing on hovering Roombas, they ascend the stairs with an air of deadly inevitability. ]

Wark.

[soul_sister]

[Rosette had run only so far as through the door, holding it open for Oz's servant. It gave her a clear view of this new and terrifying future, where the greatest enemies of mankind have joined.... .... flippers.

The only moderate plus side to this is the fact that they are effectively removing their footprints from the stairs as they attack.

OKAY NO. SHE LEVELS HER HANDGUN TO FIRE. IT'S THE ONLY WAY.]

1/2

[retraced]

[CLEARLY THEY HAVE REACHED THE NEXT LEVEL OF HELL.]

2/2

[retraced]

I-I-I THOUGHT I TOLD OZ TO THROW ALL OF THE ROOMBAS AWAY!

[Not that this little fact is helpful now. For now, they need to be faster and smarter than a Roomba. Still clutching the broom, he catches up to her and reaches out to grab her wrist and drag her away before she can fire. NO BLOOD ON THE CARPET HE'S NOT CLEANING THIS SHIT AGAIN.]

[soul_sister]

[WE NEED TO TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT YOUR PRIORITIES, GILBERT NIGHTRAY.

In the mean time, she yelps as her aim is pulled off and she takes her finger off of the trigger like it burns (lest she accidentally shoot him).]

THOSE ARE YOURS?!?

Just kick them! THEY CATCH ON FIRE!

[It's all she can do as she's dragged to shove the door closed behind them... but it bounces in the frame, not shutting properly. Before either of them have time to fix it, the hovering penguin horde burst through.]