[ Open ] A Home for the Holidays

[maddeninghatter]

Date & Time: December 10th - 21st
Location: The Museum of Old and New(ish) Art
Characters: Xerxes Break and you. Information about and a map to the castle has been left in the Transporter Facility, so anyone interested in renovating a warm and secure (if weird) place to stay is welcome.
Summary: An eccentric billionaire’s 27th century medieval-replica castle/art museum/hotel lies abandoned and half-buried in the snow. It’s going to take a lot of work to renovate, but hey it’s more kid-friendly than a brothel. Right? Right?
Warnings: None.

The 1980's ski-wear themed snow suits Break brought back from this mission proved to be a hit with the local population (so stylish!), as were Mister Cecil's ugly Christmas sweaters, so they have been able to trade for goods and some technical services, to help make this place more livable. Supplies from the DITR have also been a great help. However, a lot of work needs to be done: cleaning and vermin-smiting and clearing away snow. Come and help, or simply explore.

(ooc: feel free to start threads willy-nilly, action-spam or prose, name your time and place, threadjack and mingle.)


(1) Museum:

The stairway forces you straight down, past four floors, into the very dungeons of the castle. There are no windows; it was artificially lit, although the electricity isn't on at present. However, the old geothermal power generation system in the structure is simple and robust, so only a small amount of tweaking will be required to get it operational once more. In the meantime, the DITR has kindly supplied you with bright uber-LED flashlights and batteries with advanced energy storage, meaning they should stay lit for weeks. Should.

As soon as you emerge in the dungeons, you’ll find yourself lost in a maze of gallery after gallery. High sandstone walls rise up, towering over everything. What was once a set of opulent velvet curtains lining the art spaces hang in rags, having long since been devoured by rats.

Many of the paintings are destroyed, but most are intact, as are the sculptures and installations, preserved in the deep freeze. The subject matter is bizarre and disturbing. Take this human centipede for instance. And what on earth does this machine do? What’s that smell….

However, some of the “artworks” are playful and interactive. Try a game of ping pong on an accordion-shaped table; or jump on a trampoline in a cage with bells underneath; or find the white library, full of blank books (don’t deface the art!).

Try not to get lost.


(2) Castle/Hotel:

The upper levels of the castle were hotel rooms, long ago. Alas, all of the sheets and bedding were made into nests by rats. Here too, the lush velvet curtains hang in rags, and the wool carpets over the stone floors have lost their battle to the moths.

Yet most of the furniture remains intact, as well as the elaborate chandeliers. Compact heaters will keep the spaces at a near-comfortable temperature, and sleeping bags will do for now.

Let’s get cleaning!


(3) R&R

All that hard work has finally paid off. The geothermal power system is now providing electricity and abundant steam heat, and multiple hotel rooms are in habitable shape. Most importantly, the kitchen is functional. it's time to relax with a cup of hot spiced wine (or chocolate) and pastry. Some mischievous person has hung mistletoe over various random entranceways, so look sharp!


(4) Playing in the snow

The weak December sun makes an appearance, illuminating the ice crystals in the frigid air, creating a sun dog. The snow sparkles like white diamonds. It’s still freezing, but how can you stay inside on a day like this? Anyway, the snow needs shoveling, but perhaps there’s time to make a snowman (or snow angels).


(5) Penguins:

In addition to vermin of the four-legged, tailed and whiskered variety, this castle is home to a flock of penguins. These might be the principal reason the castle has lain abandoned all these years. They can be found anywhere in or around the structure. Approach with caution. Or better yet —



— run away.

Comments

[senseandcecilbility]

[All he wanted was to set the penguins on fire. But now Mister Gilbert is in trouble again, and he must put his shoes on, jump off the table and...

Great minds think alike. A room they don't need...Well, Break's suite is large enough! B-but no, he can't stand the idea of penguins in that room ever again. Well, in that case:]

The chapel! Take them to the chapel!

[He is going to hell for this, isn't he?]

[retraced]

[The chapel! Yes, he remembers where that is. Sort of...

Luckily there's a cross above the door to signify which room it is that he's looking for, or else he would have run right past it. Throwing open the large doors with both arms, he rushes inside and leaps onto the first row of pews, keeping himself at least far enough apart from the penguins to be able to kick them in the heads in necessary to fend them off. They faithfully (no pun intended) follow as Gilbert makes his way towards the pulpit.]

This is ridiculous-!

[senseandcecilbility]

[Kevin comes running after them with his mighty broomstick.]

Watch your language in church, sir!

[And after a small pause.]

Would you mind jumping out of the window?

[The stained glass behind the pulpit shows a particularly creepy Jesus. Kevin is quite positive God won't mind the damage.]

[retraced]

Sorry!

[The apology throws his balance off a little bit as he turns to Kevin as he's leaping over the next pew in order to call it out to him. He might apologize to Kevin's God as well, if he knew anything about him. But as soon as he's back upright, he looks towards the stained glass window, eyes narrowing with the realization that - ]

Does it open from the inside...?

[senseandcecilbility]

...

[He kicks a penguin to buy some time.]

My apologies...

[You are going to have to break it, bro.]

[retraced]

[The silence hangs between them a moment, filled with the sound of angry honking and tiny shuffling feet.]

...Hand me that broom.

[For the sake of not getting eaten by penguins, Gilbert will gladly smash this thing to pieces.]

[senseandcecilbility]

[With a resigned look on his face, Kevin locks the chapel's front doors.

What follows is nothing but epic kicking and smashing of Antarctic wildlife as this perfectly normal house steward, still wearing his cassock and ugly sweater, charges down the aisle. Dozens of eager sharp beaks snap at his heels. The struggle is undoubtedly brutal and, for a second, seems to be lost. However, after pirouetting and somersaulting over the final pews, Kevin finally lands the broom of victory on Gilbert's waiting hand.]

[retraced]

[There's no time to sit and be impressed by Kevin's aerobatic skills (though he does silently think it to himself as he watches) and as soon as that broom handle touches his palm, he immediately springs into action himself. Leaping onto the pulpit, he grabs the broom like a bat, arches it up over his head, and then leaps forward, swinging it in a long and heavy arc right towards Creepy Jesus' midsection. The angle that he hits it allows for a good deal of glass to shatter, and also causes the penguins to scatter away from the falling debris. A few of the less intelligent ones attempt to peck at it, testing the age old question, "Is it food? Can I eat it?"

They cannot.

The broom is then arranged in his hands normally so that he can frantically sweep the edges of the window outward, giving the men a chance to climb up into it and then out of it without getting cut on any shards.]

Hurry! While they're distracted!

[senseandcecilbility]

[It occurs to Kevin at this right moment that they are on the second floor and that he cannot possibly fly in front of Mister Gilbert. Regardless, he joins him on the pulpit, holds the human's free hand, and plunges into the empty space created by the creepy Jesus' demise.

Perhaps the snow will cushion their fall...]

[retraced]

[It's not until about halfway down that Gilbert realizes just how bad this idea truly is. But there is a soft snowdrift beneath them, and if one knows the correct way to fall without hurting oneself, then one can come out of a good deal of otherwise harmful situations unscathed. Of course, those people generally aren't running for their lives from killer penguins either.

Sooooo into the snow they go! Plop!]

[senseandcecilbility]

[The angel is used to landing, but only as much as birds are. It occurs to him that this is the second time since his arrival that he tosses himself out of a window and just then remembers he cannot use his wing. A bad habit, no doubt.

Since he graciously jumped head first as he is prone to, he face plants in the fluffy snow like a majestic creature, still holding Gilbert's hand for moral support.]

[retraced]

[Face down into the snow they both go. At least it's soft enough - and deep enough to cushion the fall. Except now they're both lying in identical foot deep human shaped snow-holes holding hands. This is a problem, but not as big of a problem as a broken neck.

Gilbert spits out a mouthful of snow and groans as he attempts to sit up.]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Slowly but surely, Kevin lifts his face. He too notices the same in the snow and at least manages represses a mortified sob. He was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, but now he is a wet and freezing angel.]

Are...are you all right?

[Are you in need of any stabbings, my friend?

[retraced]

[No stabbings necessary, but he might have a sore neck for a day or two.]

I'm okay. [With some effort, he turns to look back up at the shattered window before looking back at Kevin over the edge of the snow.]

Are you hurt?

[senseandcecilbility]

[Following Gilbert's gaze, he attempts to shake the snow off his hair much like a puppy would.]

I am cold. [Something that could have been easily fixed if Mister Gilbert were not there. Being a human is hard. Not for the first time, Kevin wonders how they have managed that far.] I believe...I believe we should hang up a warning sign outside the chapel's door.

[Because the only other believer he knows in this place is Sister Rosette, and he doesn't want to imagine what she would do if she found the chapel populated by angry penguins.]

[retraced]

[Gilbert doesn't want to imagine it either, but if he did there would definitely be fire and explosions. And he doesn't want to scrub any more burn marks out of upholstery this week.

He stumbles to his feet and shakes the snow off as well, his teeth starting to chatter.]

Good idea. D-do we have any paper?

[senseandcecilbility]

[Oh no, Mister Gilbert is cold too.]

Yes, yes I do.

[He offers his notebook, hoping to use the brief touch of their fingers to discreetly convey a little sunny heat.]

[retraced]

[Gilbert takes it, frowning a little at the sudden rush of warmth. Well, that's strange. Flipping it open to the back, he tears out a sheet of paper before handing it back over, no longer shivering. Maybe he's finally getting used to this cold weather.]

Ah. Thank you.

[senseandcecilbility]

[The most innocent smile is bestowed upon Mister Gilbert.]

You are welcome. Shall we return to the castle? Hot cocoa, perhaps?

[Kevin stands up and offers him a helping hand. Apparently, being hunted down by killer penguins and jumping out of a window did not dampen his spirits.]

[retraced]

[He folds the paper and puts it in his pocket before reaching out and letting Kevin help him up, brushing the snow off of his clothes and shaking it out of his hair like a wet puppy.]

That sounds like a good idea. Oz will probably want some soon.

[They've wasted a lot of time with this penguin thing; it'll be time for afternoon snacks soon enough. DAMN YOU PENGUIN DISTRACTS.]

After I put up this sign...

[senseandcecilbility]

[Kevin laughs a delicious laughter.]

I was talking about you, Mister Gilbert. Certainly we can still spare ten minutes or so. We have managed to secure the kitchen, after all.

[He turns around and goes back into the castle, planning to feed Mister Gilbert properly once more.]

[retraced]

Oh. Um...

[Shhh he's bad at letting people fuss over him. >':]

All right. Let's go.

[And then they lived happily ever after and penguin-free. For now.]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Oh, the joy of penguin-freedom!]