exsiliumlogs | [ open ] as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel

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[ open ] as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel

Date & Time: December 24th (backdated), sometime in the morning onwards
Location: The Museum of Old and New Art
Characters: An assortment of current residents of the creepy castle
Summary: Ill-timed maintenance, i.e. The Unintentional Ruin Of Christmas
Warnings: None!

Though it had taken some elbow grease and a certain level of penguin bloodshed, the castle has been a veritable haven of heat and light for the last couple of weeks, what with the presence of a surprisingly robust (and reasonably intact) geothermal power generator brought online. The snowy days have passed in relative calm since, though once or twice the more attentive may have caught the odd tremor in the ground (faint, perhaps no more than the rumble of a passing vehicle or heavy machine).

And so, when the occupants of the castle wake up this morning to find their breath misting in the air of their respective rooms, they might find it perhaps mildly disconcerting.

There's a helpful message on the network, should one turn to their tablet for answers:

To the residents of the MONA and associated premises:

Due to technical issues with the geothermal system, and for the safety of all residents, it has proven necessary to put all operations on hold for the next 24-48 hours. Efforts are being made to restore them in the shortest time possible.

Space heaters and portable lights are available in the main hall.

Sincerest apologies for the inconvenience.

-Chrysos.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The report of the pistol makes Break freeze momentarily (he hates guns). But then he registers the sound of Kevin doing something useful on the ceiling (angels) and Chrysos falling to penguin doom.

Some small part of his brain wonders about the sudden breeze, but the rest of it is in the zone, i.e. killing things.

When it's all over, Break is standing before Chrysos, one arm outstretched. He has put on a brilliant smile. Alas that he didn't also put on shorts, as his half-knotted robe has come quite undone. ]

Are you okay~? ♥

[ He's not entirely sure the smell of blood comes solely from the piles of fresh penguin carcass around him, or from the depths of his nostrils. He is sure, however, of the fact that at least 70% of his face did not appreciate its introduction to the floorboards, and he takes a moment after shoving himself upright to a sitting position to feel it over and check that his nose is in place.Glancing at Break between the gaps of his fingers. ]

Yes, yes, I'm f---

[ a strangled noise and LOOKING IN ANY OTHER DIRECTION BUT FORWARD ]

---pants, Break, light's sake will you put on some pants.

Mister Break, what are you--!

[Needless to say it takes only one glance at Break's state to cause Kevin to fall off the ceiling, embracing a furious penguin in a fight to death. They crash right in the middle of the bed. If anyone is not completely absorbed by Break's spectacle, they might notice a few white feathers floating peacefully,way too big for a penguin.]

Edited 2014-01-02 06:10 (UTC)

[ Of all the ungrateful... ]

What are you on about —

[ ...

...

...

sure is breezy down there. ]

[ This is when Kevin shrieks and falls on the bed with a not-too-painful-sounding thump. And the the penguin he's fighting sounds displeased, to say the least.

WELLP. The thing to do in this sort of situation is... ]

[ Own it. ]

What's the big deeeeal~?

[ He throws his arms wide. ]

It's not like anything you haven't seen beforrrre~! Hm, well. I suppose I am a bit chilly.

[ Without bothering to do up his dressing gown, he crosses to the wardrobe and casually plucks his purple snow suit from a hanger, then saunters toward the ensuite bathroom. Over his shoulder: ]

I say, Mister Chrysos. You sound like somebody's maiden aunt, who's grown prudish in her dotage. Hahahahhaa~!

[ The bathroom door swings shut. Sorry Kevin, you're on your own. ]

N-No, wait a moment!

[With a penguin beak squishing his throat and angry flippers batting his face, Kevin gives Chrys a pleading look.]

It was healing! He needed HEALING! He had to undress because---

[He grabs the penguin by the back of its neck, opens a window and flings it outside. Then he turns around and shouts at the bathroom.]

---HE IS AN IDIOT!

[ Kevin's pleading look goes unnoticed, as Chrys pointedly refuses to look directly at either party. Instead he trains his eyes on the sight of the last penguin soaring majestically through the sunlit air, arcing towards the snow below, a faraway expression on his face as of one contemplating the great mysteries of life, the universe, and everything.

Or perhaps just one having witnessed the Private Business of Xerxes Break. ]

......

[ A feather drifts peacefully upon his head. ]

I see.

Healing, was it.

Edited 2014-01-02 07:14 (UTC)

[ muffled FLUSH ]

[Accompanied by the desperate sounds of an angel closing the windows and discreetly attempting to grab all those drifting feathers.]

Y-yes, sir. Healing! Pure and innocent healing! Certainly not what you are thinking! W-what... [He manages to give him an accusing look.] What are you doing here this early in the morning anyway?

[Explain yourself, sir!]

Edited 2014-01-02 12:18 (UTC)

[ Ahh, how peaceful the world looks, all covered in white. One might feel refreshed within to look upon it a while. Cleansed.

But for the soft squelch of a bit of penguin flopping over, bringing Chrysos roundly back to the present location.

...a world-weary sigh, as he stands properly and whips out a rag, making a start on cleaning off the bloodstains from the heater. ]

I assure you I am thinking of absolutely nothing unusual, incriminating, or that would be voluntarily discussed with anyone on any occasion ever again, and my only intention in coming here today was to inform Mister Break--

[ side-eying the bathroom, pointedly ]

--about the temporary cessation of electricity and heat for this building, for safety reasons.

[ And now the shower's going. Hey, somebody has to suck up the last of the hot water, right? ]

[Casting a seething glare at the bathroom, Kevin unceremoniously snatches the rag from Chrysos' hand and kneels down to wipe the bloodstains off the heater with passionate dedication.]

What a preposterous idea, sir! You could have been mistaken for an intruder! [He points with the rag at the cooling avian carcass on the floor.] You could be that penguin now!

[At this point, Kevin promises himself he will never engage in acts of abnormal sexual excitation again. No matter how lovely Break's little hands and feet might be, he will be strong. This has been his first and last time!]

[ He prefers to avoid thinking very hard about his chances of being that carcass, thank you very much, Kevin Cecil.

Dryly, with a long look at his abruptly rag-less hand: ] Unless the penguins have learned how to knock-- [ which they can't possibly have. Can they? ] --I would hardly think so.

[ Absently plucks the feather off his head and tucks it into a breast pocket, as he turns to face the door. He'd best leave them to it, anyway. Whatever "it" might be. ]

Regardless. Apologies for the... intrusion. ....tell Break I'll be downstairs in the main hall when he's done.

[ Echoing, on the other side of the door: ]

Rubber ducky, you're the ooooone. You make bathtime lots of fuuuuuun. Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of yooooou~♪

[ At least somebody's enjoying themselves here. Tunelessly. ]

[Note to self: teach Break to carry his notes. Meanwhile, his eyes lock on the feather disappearing into Chrysos' breast pocket. He feels a brand new wave of panic.]

Apologies accepted!

[He lunges forward and grabs the front of Chrysos jacket.]

This, sir. This is awfully dirty. Can't you see the penguin blood? Completely unsanitary, I tell you. Allow me to wash it. Undress immediately, please.

Edited 2014-01-03 07:34 (UTC)

[ Given that the penguin blood in question happens to be smeared rather generously over his shirt and trousers as well, it does not occur to Chrys that the direct order refers only one particular article of clothing.

And so there is a rather disconcerted staring at the pair of hands on his jacket. ]

I-- Excuse me?

[ Xerxes Break chooses this moment to exit the bathroom, now dressed in his purple snowsuit. He actually makes it look good, probably because he's so thin, the puffiness of the suit make him look more normal-sized. He is zipping it up at the throat and giving his wet hair a good shake (which certain persons in the room might see in slow-motion anime style, water droplets flying).

At which point, he hears the commotion, and comes to the conclusion that either:

1. Having once had a taste of forbidden fruit, Kevin is now insatiable.
2. Some other shenanigans have transpired.

He makes the appropriate probability calculation, and cries: ]

Mister Cecil, you cad! You faithless creature! How could you use me so?

...

[Kevin stops what he is doing as soon as he hears Break's accusation, which is struggling to remove Chrys'jacket with his white gloved hands. Feeling his cheeks on fire, he gives the fabric another petulant tug.

Now. Now Mister Break chooses to leave join them. ]

...I guarantee my intentions are nothing but pure, sir! [He grunts the next sentence between his teeth.] However, it is paramount that Mister Chrysos removes his jacket.

Edited 2014-01-03 16:38 (UTC)

[ Chrys stops at the same instant as Kevin, head swiveling to look simultaneously.

...

Of course it had to be that kind of timing, didn't it. Chrys contemplates, briefly, the strange feeling of relief at not being the one in the most compromising position for once, and decides that the least he can do for the one in said position (due to his apparent steadfast dedication to Cleanliness) is play it cool. ]

Look, it's fine, I can take care of it myself. I'll need to empty it out.

[ While calmly, gingerly attempting to prise said gloved hands from his clothes. ]

I'm very well acquainted with your pure intentions, Mister Cecil. And all I have to say to that is —

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