exsiliumlogs | [closed] all work and no play

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[closed] all work and no play

Date & Time: Afternoon of the 12th of December yeah you read that right this is backdated a month
Location: An abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town
Characters: Stephanie Brown, Isaac Lahey
Summary: Steph and Isaac punch each other and then have feelings probably
Warnings: Violence, likely references to child abuse

[Regardless of Peter asking her to talk to Isaac about his problems managing his temper, she'd have wanted to speak with him anyway, because she knows what it's like to be scared of yourself, and she doesn't want Isaac to feel that way. She knows that the moon can't have helped the situation, and that it might have been almost entirely because of the way being up there was effecting Isaac's temper, but she suspects there's more to it than that. From the way Peter talked about it, and the little bits and pieces she's picked up from Isaac himself, especially when he told her he knows what it's like to be trapped, well...

She doesn't want to jump to conclusions, but what Peter said about her and Isaac having things in common is a thought she can't shake.

And anyway, she could use someone to spar with, since coming down to Exsilium has seriously cut down on her training time. There's no VR rooms or training area like she's used to, and she can't exactly use her environment like she normally would, what with all the snow. And she doesn't have the time that she had up on the moon or in the city before, when the Initiative paid them every month. Sparring is a good way to ease into a conversation, too, since she can make sure Isaac's worked out any frustration before they discuss potentially upsetting things.

So she sends him a text and invites him to spar, then heads to the warehouse she's been trying to spruce up. It's not the best place, just an empty building on the edge of town, abandoned for at least a few years, but she'd swept out all the snow and boarded up any holes in the walls, roof and windows. There's no training mats, not yet, but she doubts Isaac will care about that, just like she doubts he'll mind that it's not as warm as it could be. She's in her Batgirl suit, for the armor, mostly, but it also means she 's protected from the chill.

Steph gets there fifteen minutes before she's due to meet Isaac, but waits outside, leaning against an outer wall as she keeps an eye out for Isaac.]

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[Isaac is running a little late, but he chooses to blame the snow. It's hard to get good enough traction to run through, and walking takes twice as long because his feet sink with every step. But he makes it there eventually- five or so minutes late, bundled up and still freezing, but he grins at Steph despite that and glances over the building.

It looks... well, like an abandoned warehouse. Which hopefully won't collapse on them any time soon, but now that he has experience with being inside collapsing buildings, it's not exactly the greatest threat to him right now.]

You look pretty comfortable. [And he opens his arms a little, indicating down toward his coat, scarf, gloves, boots, and everything in between.] If Peter had his way, I'd be wearing twice this.

[Don't worry, she made sure it was structurally sound.]

The advantages of heated uniforms.

[And she holds an arm out so he can feel how warm she is; it's basically like wearing an electric blanket.]

I'm guessing you run as hot as a regular human, then? Or is Peter just being a mom?

[That is warm. Isaac raises an eyebrow, impressed, before starting inside.]

A little warmer, I think. Especially near full moons. But Peter worries, you know.

[Isaac shrugs.] I'm sure a little sparring would warm me up though.

For someone who says he's not used to caring about people, that boy is very good at fussing.

[She follows him inside, then slips in front to lead him further into the warehouse, where the wind can't get them quite so easily.]

There's definitely a joke about generating body heat to be made there, it's just alluding me right now.

[Steph......]

I live with him. Tell me about it.

[Once they get further inside though, Isaac shrugs out of his coat and starts tugging his gloves off and unwinding his scarf. Also eyerolling at her second comment, and he tries to ignore it, but it's too tempting.]

Somehow, I don't think you'd be up for the follow through on that. [He laughs, letting the excess winter wear fall to the floor.] So I guess I'll just have to live with trying to beat the crap out of you.

At least that means he doesn't turn up on your doorstep 'cause it's been more than two days since you texted him.

[She loves Peter, really.]

I don't think I'm allowed. [she looks so apologetic though! sorry about that monogamy thing she's got going on.] But you'd be amazed at how often I hear that.

[what]

[That just earns her an eyeroll as Isaac turns to face her, flexing his fingers to warm them up a bit.]

Alright. Rules? I can't really control healing, but I can try to hold back on the strength, speed, and claws if you want.

[She shakes her head.]

Don't worry about holding back, I can handle whatever you throw my way. [but since they're laying ground rules:] Yes or no to weaponry?

[Including batarangs, not that she'd use the dangerous ones on him.]

[Hm.]

I've been stabbed a few times, but it's not something I really want to experience again. If we've got weapons and claws out, maybe just be a little careful?

[He doesn't particularly mind her pulling blades on him- he'd just like to not be outright stabbed. And Steph has less to worry about than he does on that front because... well, for the most part, he can just heal it right back up if she does accidentally stab him.]

I don't use a lot of bladed weapons.

[She did on the zombies, but that was something completely different, for now she's mostly just got her bo staff, which she unclips from her belt and flicks out to it's full length.]

And if I manage to stab you with this, we might have some problems.

[He lifts an eyebrow with that before laughing, falling back into a stance that might be a little better for fighting and pulling the strength back to him. His eyes shift in colors, changing to a bright gold in the dark of the warehouse.]

Alright then. Ready?

[Pretty.]

Always.

[Which is why she's leaping forward before the word has completely left her mouth, feigning a strike with her staff, before she jumps up to aim a kick at his head.

She tends to start off with a flourish, just to keep people on their toes.]

[Isaac is strong and fast, but he's not entirely adept. When she moves forward, he's able to get out of the way of her first strike easily enough and he moves to dodge her second- her foot clips off of his shoulder and throws off his momentum for a moment, which he makes up for in a driving attack back toward her.

He relies on his strength much more than any sort of skill or finesse, and while he's quick, he's still figuring out how to use his speed for anything more than offense. It's not that he's a terrible fighter- he's survived this long, after all- but he's just simply never been properly trained and had to sort of go about all of this by himself.]

[Steph doesn't really go in for the dual identities thing; Batgirl is Steph and Steph is Batgirl, but there's always been a dichotomy in how she fights as one or the other. Steph is more a scrappy brawler, all dirty tactics and brute force, while Batgirl is, well, Batgirl.

When she has to fight someone who's physically stronger than her, the only option is to rely on Batgirl and all the training that comes with it. Mostly that means she never stops moving, dancing in and out and throwing herself into more flips than is strictly necessary, except for how it is. Punch for punch, Isaac would beat her easily, and he might be quick, but it's clear he doesn't know how to use it, so she takes advantage of the blind spots and openings that he leaves, darting in to land a blow, or slipping her staff past his defences. She uses his strength against him, taking advantage of his momentum to put him on his back once or twice.

But the aim isn't to take Isaac down, it's to let him work some of his energy out, so the blows she lands are mostly to rile him up and keep him attacking, and her focus is on her defense, making him swing without landing too many hits, until she wears him out.]

[Isaac is growing a little more frustrated with the fight as it goes on- not that he's outright losing, but it's clear that Steph has her head in the game and he doesn't. He's moving based on instinct, throw a punch, try to move out of the way of the returning blow, fuck don't overbalance in the followthrough- and she seems... calculated, almost. Like she's intentionally not bowling him over, but also letting him land a few offcenter strikes for his- self confidence? What?

The second time he gets knocked completely on his ass, Isaac stays down for a moment, his palms flat on the floor. He can feel the tug of the fight as it bristles through his veins, pulling forward a sensation that's not unlike the full moon. He's not sure what it means- he's never felt this on a regular night before, and the moon isn't for another five days. Isaac's fingers flex as the claws slowly push their way through his nails, scritching over the floor and leaving faint white marks when he pushes himself to his hands and feet.

A deep breath, and then another. It's not that he doesn't have control- he does- it's that instinct is telling him how to move. How to stand, how to flow into this fight. He doesn't know where it's coming from, but in the thrill of the moment, who is he to question it? Isaac lets out a deep breath then, before lunging for her from his position on the floor, intent on using his speed to take her down, rather than just to knock her around a bit.]

[The shift in style surprises her, though she doesn't let it show, doesn't let it throw her off, she just changes her own movements to accomodate. She's more economical with how she moves; instead of throwing herself into over the top flips, she just dodges exactly as much as she needs to, relying on her staff more, trying to keep him at a distance.

And she gets a little more aggressive rather than letting him come to her, because she might have been able to wait him out before, but with the shift in how he's fighting, she needs to push back.

In the end, though, it's been too long since she's really had to fight, it's been too long since she's done more than spend a couple hours going through kata, which isn't enough to keep her at peak level. She starts getting tired, which means she starts slowing down, starts taking hits instead of dodging them, until her breathing is ragged and she can taste blood.

She could break out the batarangs, but the point isn't too win, it's too get a feel for how Isaac fights now they're away from the moon, and to let him burn up some energy or any lingering aggression. So she leaves the batarangs where they are and just fights until she can't anymore.

Going down hurts, when they aren't soft mats to cushion the blow, but she's dealt with worse.]

I give.

[Said a little roughly, when she's so out of breath, but she just wants to make sure Isaac knows they're done.]

[Isaac is holding himself back a little, hitting her with closed fists instead of raking his claws across, shoving and punching rather than closing in with his teeth. Still, he can sense her growing slower and uses that to his advantage, his own stamina still pumping through him as he finally knocks her down to the floor.

And he's standing above her, about to slam into her again when Steph speaks and stops Isaac in his tracks. His fingers tighten slightly, before loosening from their fists and he has to close his eyes with the effort it takes to pull the wolf back, retract his claws and slowly reach a hand out toward her with a little murmur of acknowledgement.]

...sorry. Was that okay?

[She watches him carefully as he regains control, her grip tight on her staff despite the fact she's still on the ground; if he doesn't stop, she'll take him down. But then he's offering his hand, and she takes it, collapsing her staff once she's on her feet so it can hook onto her belt.]

Not bad. [She doesn't bother acknowledging the apology. It's not necessary, but it's not worth arguing about, either.] What changed?

[The shift in how he was fighting, she means. And she's being deliberately obscure to see if he's aware of it or not.]

[Isaac looks down curiously at his hands, flexing his fingers a little before just letting out a small shrug.]

...I'm not sure. I could feel it though. I just... I knew what to do. Like I was moving on instinct.

You gotta learn to control that.

[It can't just be something that kicks in occasionally, he needs to learn how to fight like that always.]

Was it 'cause you got angry?

That's what I need. Another thing I have to control.

[He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.]

I don't know. When I get angry- well, before I got control, when I got angry, I'd shift. I was already half-transformed and in control of it while we were fighting, so I dunno.

[She regards him in silence for a moment, weighing up his words and deciding on her own.

Eventually, she just knows she needs to tell him the truth, even if he might not want to hear it.]

You have to control everything.

[If her guesses are right about where his anger comes from, about why it scares him, then she knows it's not just a few things that need control. It's everything; they don't get the luxury of letting go.]

Is that a statement or a demand?

[He quirks up an eyebrow, before moving toward the nearby wall and sitting down with his back pressed up against it. His voice and demeanor is lighthearted, but his fingers are flexing, tensing up and relaxing slowly as he props his hands up on his knees.]

But yeah. Control is the general idea. Not letting things get to you.

It's a warning.

[But not from her, its not a threat, because for all that she would be willing to take Isaac down if she had to, that isn't what she means. What she means that if he doesn't keep control, he'll regret it. Because she's been there, more than once.

She pushes her cowl back from her face and follows Isaac, crouching down in front of him, but not crowding him.]

I dunno if I've ever stopped letting things get to me, I've just had to learn to control how I react.

[Isaac looks up when Steph crouches in front of him, the smile faded completely from his expression as he lifts his eyes- regular blue again now- to meet her own.]

You know what keeps us from going crazy? From cutting loose and murdering everyone in sight? It's not like the werewolves in stories, Steph. If you get mad, if your heart rate goes up, you lose control and you go on a rampage- no matter what phase the moon is in.

[And Isaac shrugs, breaking eye contact, looking down toward his hand as his fingers tighten into fists.]

You have an anchor. You keep something close to your heart, something- I dunno, meaningful. Something that can only be human. My anchor wasn't enough on the moon, but it's enough here. [And then, pointedly.] What I mean to say is that I'm not gonna be going on any rampages anytime soon. I promise.

[That sounds like bullshit; not that she doesn't believe him, but that using someone else to keep them calm is stupid as hell, because she'd rather rely on only herself.

She won't say that, though, it isn't what the point of this is.]

That's not what I'm worried about, Isaac. I'm not talking about the wolf.

[She's talking about the boy.]

[Wow excuse you don't knock on the Derek Hale school of werewolfism!

Either way though, Isaac sort of doubletakes at that, his brows furrowing once he realizes what she's talking about. He goes tense pretty quickly, eyes narrowed.]

What did Peter tell you?

[She shakes her head, not wanting to make it seem like Peter betrayed Isaac's trust.]

He didn't have to say anything, I know what to look for.

[Peter did tell her a little, but mostly it was just - encouraging Steph to talk to Isaac, because he knew she'd understand.]

[Isaac is quiet for a moment- and he's unpredictable enough to where it's not immediately clear if he's going to lash out at her. Instead, after a few moments of tension he just lets out a deep breath and turns his head to rest against the wall behind him.]

And what are you looking for?

[He's pretty sure he has an idea. They've talked about this before- he's helped her through her issues anyway, told her that he's sympathized, it should be more than enough for her to put the pieces together if she cares to. Maybe he just didn't expect her to look into it- maybe he thought she wouldn't care enough to. Either way, she proved him wrong and he's not entirely sure how to feel about it.]

[She'd known that him lashing out was a possibility, and she's prepared for it while hoping that it won't be necessary. None of that is written in her expression or her posture, she just stays steady and waits for him to choose his next move.]

I know what it's like to be scared of yourself.

[That's what she looks for, and what she can see in his reaction to Jesse and everything that came after. She doesn't want to say I know what it's like to worry about cycles of abuse, not when she isn't sure if her assumptions there are true.]

[Isaac watches her, pushing back against the wall with a sigh, not quite meeting her eyes anymore. He doesn't know how to reply to that, not really.]

Yeah?

[Quiet, but not quite soft, like he's still tempted to react with anger. His gaze flicks back to Steph then, charged, still just as dangerous as the boy who was sparring with her a moment ago.]

This is about Jesse, isn't it? Look- that little shit needed a good talking to. I'm not afraid to admit that. [A pause, and then-] -and I'm not afraid to hurt people. In case you haven't noticed, it's one of the only things I'm good at. I know there's a line, and I know I'm not going to cross it. I won't.

[And then again, like he's saying it more for himself than for her.]

I'm never going to lose control like that.

[It's not about Jesse at all, and she's sure that he's well aware of that. He's saying all this for his sake, to reassure himself, she doesn't nneed it.

Anyway, she's tired of talking about Jesse.]

Do you wanna hit me, Isaac?

[It's a genuine question, because he's looking at her like he wants to.]

[That's unexpected, and it makes his eyebrows raise a little, surprised.]

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it.

[She wants honesty, she'll get honesty. Still, Isaac shakes his head in the end and moves to stand up, feeling a little crowded... even if she is giving him some space.]

-no. You didn't do anything wrong.

Edited 2014-01-17 11:47 (UTC)

[She waits until he's standing, then shifts around until she's basically taken his spot, her own back against the wall. It's a submissive gesture, keeping herself at a lower level while he's standing.]

It's okay if you want to.

[Which isn't saying that he can, she's not really in the mood for that, just that he shouldn't feel guilty or bad that he does.]

What matters is that you're choosing not to. And that's the hardest part, I'm still not very good at it, sometimes.

[Something flickers over his face then, and Isaac turns away, his hands tightening at his sides until he shoves them in his pockets. He doesn't like this. The compliance. If anything, it just makes him feel worse, makes him feel- like he's the one in charge, like he's the one who gets to make that decision.

And he wants that control. He does. But he doesn't know what to do with it once he has it, and choosing to do nothing doesn't make him feel like the bigger person, contrary to what Steph says.]

I'm not scared.

[It even sounds like a lie.]

And I really don't need a 'power and responsibility' speech. I know what I'm capable of. I know I don't have to be a monster.

I am.

[It's gotten a lot easier as she's gotten better control, but she meant what she said about it never really going away. Mostly she's terrified of hurting the people she cares about, because she hasn't forgotten that she hit Saul when she was angry, and she doesn't know how she'd live with herself if she ever did that again, now they're together.

But this isn't about her.]

I'm not trying to give a speech, god knows I wouldn't have wanted one. I'm just trying to let you know that I get it, and... if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.

I'm not sure what you want me to say. [At the very least though, he seems to have calmed down a bit. Steph is a good person, she knows how to talk to people.]

I'll keep that in mind, I guess.

You don't have to say anything. Or you can tell me to fuck off, whatever you prefer.

[It's said lightly, the hint of a smile on her lips, because she's sure Isaac doesn't need permission to tell her that.]

Nah.

[He sighs, turns back to her, and crouches to the floor, juxtaposing their earlier positions.]

I think instead, I'm gonna say this: we're not on the moon anymore. It's not that bad anymore. I can keep myself in line because I know how to control myself. If I go too far, then that's on me, but I won't. I've been taught well enough to trust myself with that.

Okay.

[It's a quiet response, but firm enough that it communicates she believes him; if he thinks he won't hurt anyone, then she trusts him not to hurt anyone. He kept his cool on the moon, after all.]

But you don't need to be a werewolf to have control issues, or to be angry, or to wanna lash out. [She said she didn't want to give a speech, and she meant it, she's just... trying to get her point across.] So even if you've got the wolf under control, if there's anything else you wanna talk about you can still talk to me. Or just ask for someone to spar with and I promise I'll keep my mouth shut if you want me to.

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[closed] all work and no play

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literally two months later ITS OKAY IF YOU WANNA DROP THIS