you've been acting awful tough lately

[reassures]

Date & Time: The 8th, from 12pm - 3pm
Location: Outside town
Characters: Nill and YOU
Summary: Nill promised to meet an anonymous person on the network, and has decided to send smoke signals with cigarettes to find them. Also action spam.
Warnings: None! Will be updated if needed.

[It's a strange day that finds Nill smoking during daylight hours, but one way or another she's found herself doing exactly that. Small promises made and easy modes of identification, she supposes - she'll end up going through half a pack by the end of this, but it's worth it if she can actually manage to help the person she promised to help.

Even so, it's not difficult to tell that it's a strange sight, a blond girl bundled up, sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree beside one of the better-known ways to town, just... smoking. She doesn't appear to be going anywhere, apparently comfortable where she is, though she smiles at anyone that spares her a glance while they're on their way. She'll be there for most of the early afternoon, from noon to about three, and will welcome anyone that feels like sitting with her.

Hopefully it won't decide to snow while she's sitting there. It's cold enough out as it is, and a new layer isn't going to make her stay terribly pleasant.]

((ooc: Telepathy permissions!))

Comments

[reassures]

[Mostly just thanking him for his kindness, at least at the moment. And before. But it's fine if he doesn't understand. Things when it came to Gilbert meant a great deal to her. Even not knowing her, even being a different Gilbert, he still treated her much the same, and it made her heart ache. Sometimes in a bad way, sometimes in a good way. This time, it was a good way.]

You don't need to apologize.

How are you?

[retraced]

[Such an innocent question, but not one that he can bring himself to lie about in order to bypass an awkward new round of angst. He taps ash off of the cigarette and finally stutters his way through something.]

I - um....

[I'm a useless fool. If Oz say me smoking again...

There's a memory that accompanies this thought of the last time that he'd attempted to quit. Oz had helpfully brought him a chocolate cigarette and shoved it right in his mouth when he sat outside underneath of a tree and fought to keep from chewing on his hands instead. A few days later he'd given up and fallen right back into old habits, and both Oz and Break had teased him, called him useless.

Useless as he may be, he inhales another lungful of smoke and exhales before trying again.]

I don't know.

[reassures]

[Nill listens quietly, lifting her cigarette to her lips again. She blows the smoke in the opposite direction of him, even though he probably wouldn't mind in the least, before turning her attention to him once more.]

I heard that a friend of yours left. I'm sorry.

[She means it, too. Oz was the world to Gilbert, no matter which Oz and no matter which Gilbert. Surely, this wasn't easy for him. It never was.]

He'll come back.

[retraced]

[A friend. A reason for living. An excuse to breathe, to sleep and to wake again. He's tried to convince himself for days that Oz would return, but when days feel like years without direction, he isn't sure of anything aside from the emptiness he feels in the wake of his disappearance.]

He'll -- [He startles, turns his eyes up to look directly at her.]

You think he will...? Why?

[Selfish.]

[reassures]

[Nill hesitates for the slightest moment. She flicks ashes from the edge of her cigarette, and then lifts her free hand to very gently touch his arm.]

He always comes back to you. Sometimes it just takes a little longer than usual.

[There were few laws in these different worlds that Nill visited. They were few and far between, and at the best they were never good, but if there was one thing that Nill was sure of, it was this.

Where Gilbert was, Oz would eventually be. And where Oz was, Gilbert would always follow. Of that much she was absolutely certain.]

[retraced]

[It's strange how familiar her touch is. It's something that his soul remembers even though his body doesn't recognize it. A form of kindness that he'd once been shown by someone; someone who had cared for him maybe as just as he'd cared for them. It tightens around his heart and his eyes go wet, though he blinks away any tears lest they freeze his eyes shut first.]

How...h-how do you know that?

[The hand holding the cigarette shakes.]

[reassures]

[It's the first time that anyone who she used to know, in a different time or a different world, has shown anything like recognition towards Nill. It makes her heart ache in a way that it hasn't for awhile, like cracks splintering across the surface of stone. A soft smile spreads across her face.]

I know Oz-- and I know you. That's all.

[It almost feels like hope.]

[retraced]

[It's an honest surprise to him how deeply her words touch him. They're kind - and more than that, they're true. Just like Break had told him, wherever Oz goes, he'll find him. No matter where they end up, there will always be that thread of hope that connects them.

He wipes his eyes with the back of his wrist and takes another drag off of his cigarette, keeping his gaze back down on the ground.]

Thank you. [The first unwavering thing he's said all afternoon.]

[reassures]

You're welcome.

[For a moment Nill, very desperately, wants to ask if he knows her. If he remembers anything, because for a moment - a brief little instant - it seemed like he did, and she missed the Gilbert she had known so very much.

If he didn't though, it would just make this unpleasant, and he didn't need that right now. So instead She just takes another drag off her own cigarette, and continues to smile.

Nill was happy where she lived right now. It was loud and full of people, and she'd missed that more than she'd realized until she was around it again. But despite that, sitting here in the freezing cold, she feels more at home than she has in months.

It's enough for her.]

[retraced]

[The recognition is something written on his soul, even though his memory can't recall anything. But so much of his memory is hidden, written over and so jumbled that he doesn't question it. A young girl with wings who shows him unquestioning kindness and trust; it sounds like a fairytale written in long-ago history. But it's the most comforted he's felt since Oz had disappeared, and exactly what he needed to hear.

The cigarette is nearly finished, and when he cracks his eyes back open he stares down at it rather than smoking the rest of it. The nicotine has also helped calm him as it always does, but just like the first time he'd smoked, he feels sick from it. It'll take his body a while to get used to it again, and he'll hate himself for giving in. Also not an unfamiliar feeling.

The rest of the cigarette is tossed onto the ground, and he kicks a bit of snow on top of it to cover it. Out of sight, out of mind.

But at least now...I think I know what to do next.]

Thank you for the cigarette. [He stands, shuffles his feet into the snow to try and get his balance back on the slippery ground.] If there's anything I can do to return the favor...

sarah you're breaking my heart with this

[reassures]

You're welcome. I'm always happy to share.

[With a friend goes unspoken, but it hangs in the air nonetheless. Nill finished her cigarette not long ago, but the empty butt still hangs between her fingers, for no reason in particular. ]

I'll be sure to let you know. Thank you.

[She giggles, very softly, before her smile spreads into a gentle grin.]

I have more cigarettes-- if you would like to meet like this again some time, I'd be more than happy to share again.

heh heh

[retraced]

[More...well, he's sure that now that he's had a taste of it again, it will be difficult to put the patches back on or try and rely on quitting cold turkey. It's a routine of quit, failure, quit, failure, and this was the longest and best attempt thus far. It was only fitting, really, that he wait until after Oz had left again to find himself weak enough to start again, just as he had been the first time he'd smoked.]

Oh. Um, maybe we can...trade? [Why does this feel like an illegal tradeoff here.] If there's a pastry that you like or - any type of food, I can bake.

[The only thing that he's sure he'll be able to continue doing to keep from feeling entirely useless.]

the worst

[reassures]

I love pastries-- I love baking, too.

[Her expression brightens a little. Not that it wasn't bright before, but now it's a little more carefree. The kind of look someone gets when you mention a silly little hobby that they actually really love.]

Maybe we could bake together sometime. I haven't gotten to do something like that since before we arrived on the moonbase.

[And before that it had been since Siren's Port. She only really went to the cookie baking thing once.]

[retraced]

[Baking with a pretty girl. Oz would kick him over and step on him from overwhelming jealousy. The correct answer here would be to say no, it's okay, he'd rather pay her back by doing it himself and not letting her bother with any of the work. Except...she does seem excited about it, which he can understand. The kitchen in the moonbase must have been a blessing to so many, but to a man who finds as much joy in cooking as Gilbert does, it had been a painfully long and frustrating ordeal.]

That would...um - if you want, there's plenty of space in the kitchen that we've cleaned out so...that would be fine.