exsiliumlogs | (no subject)

[Unlike the first time this happens, Scott is aware of what’s happening, he can feel himself slipping. Everywhere he goes, he can feel the faint feeling of emotions just beyond his grasp, and he knows that he can feel it all the more because of his new status. It makes him feel out of control, too many emotions mingling in with his own, and he recognizes his mistake. Oh, yeah, I’ve had it under control for a while. A while is different from now, and he can feel that familiar rage seeping in; it’s hard to deny right now.

Being aware is different from stopping it, and though he sets out early in the morning almost in a daze, head swimming with thoughts and emotions, none of them good, he slips away at some point. The Scott McCall who remains is a mere facsimile of the one normally present. He’s the one who acts almost as a complete contradiction to his normal behavior. He’s still Scott—still undeniably Scott McCall, no matter how unfortunate that may be—but there’s one present and pounding idea in his head: there’s no hope.

There’s no control.

It’s like a crushing, overwhelming weight that he can’t deny. If he were in a clearer state of mind, he’d be able to pinpoint the source. (He already has, after all; it all comes back to her. It all comes back to Allison.) But the name Allison is only the instigator of another string of emotions and a reminder of what he’s lost. He’s gained so much—things are better is what he told Erica—but he’s lost so much, too. They all have.

And rather than repressing the thoughts that usually surge up, he seems to be acting on them—all of them.

In a haze, he sets out to find the ones he wants to speak to the most: Allison, Lydia, Isaac … perhaps there are others, too. It feels like he can hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he makes this decision. That sound does the exact opposite of offering him any clarity.]

[Scott is hardly the only one experiencing problems today. Peter is stuck with a bunch of teenage werewolves. Erica hasn’t been exposed to the moon in three months.

How will they deal with these problems?]

[As the moon approaches, there are few recipes at hand for things going without a hitch. Scott is still a recently turned alpha without any ability to anchor himself. Erica is still experiencing her same predicament. Of course, these things might be resolved before the moon, but they may not be.

Things are rarely ever that simple.]

[luckily between the snow and the isolation, there's enough pockets here and there for them to get lost among for the sake of ... well, everyone else. so Peter tells Isaac to herd Scott to what he calls a "rendezvous" point, which is somewhere between two stone walls that could have been a back ally at one time. the whole place reeks anyway, but Peter never gives it more than a passing glance. the wild life is strange, and the putrid scent of ash and rot aren't something that the snow can destroy, only mask.

becoming an alpha came with a whole lot of weight. not, of course, that he didn't think Scott could handle it. Scott had a weird way of flying by the seat of the pants in almost everything he did. it worked for him. well, as much as it really could work for him. the stress was enough to break anyone, and Scott managed a whole lot of it.

Peter's there, rolling up his sleeves to his elbow.]

So, I heard you're having problems. Ah ah ah—I'm not telling who gave you away. That would be a dick move.

I don't need your help.

[Scott knows that much, he knows how much Peter wanted to turn him into something like him, and while he can usually see through the haze of disliking Peter, to see how Peter has helped, he can't right now. Right now, it's blatantly clear that Peter is only out to hurt him.

The location is one that makes him abundantly aware that this is meant to be done out of sight, and already, Scott's claws start to extend. He doesn't need Peter's help, and if he means to push him, he'll show him why he's making a mistake for even thinking of it.]

Oh, I think you do. I think you need my help more than you'd like to admit.

[he holds out his fingers, spiked nails appearing. he regards the whole situation casually, his heartbeat steady. there's no fear, no apprehension and no hesitation. of course, there hardly ever is with him. there's unwant, but that comes very differently then the other three.]

You're an Alpha now, Scott. You can't go around without a clue as to what you're doing. You know, the norm. It's not gonna work.

I know what I'm doing. [That erratic stutter of his heartbeat is almost immediate. It's amazing, though, how listening to Peter is so similar to listening to Gerard. It irritates him, and his eyes flash red as he looks at him; his fingers flex, but oddly enough, there aren't any nails there. It's like he wants them there, but they haven't come yet.

Scott just barely manages to resist from looking down at them in shock.]

Besides, the last thing I need help from is a murderer. That's the only thing you accomplished as an alpha, Peter. And then you got caught.

[Isaac finds himself a little unsettled after his talk with Scott. The alpha has left, off to see Peter for whatever lessons he can take in controlling himself and he leaves Isaac here, in his shared house with who he's affectionately coined as the sane Peter, but he can't stay still.

Peter has seen him before on full moons and it's not like this, it's never been like this before. he hasn't felt Scott before, and now that he can, it feels like everything is unsettled in his chest. There's no chance of losing control, he hopes- he's going to need it later, if everything goes the way he thinks it will.

He's asked Erica to meet him here a little later. Who knows if Scott will be back in time for them all to go to not-sane Peter's place for the shift. What matters now is control. Comfort. Silence.

It would be a lot easier if he stopped pacing.]

[the impending moon makes peter nervous too, makes his nerves taut and his hands just a little shaky. it's worse than usual, though, because isaac's tense and scott is just...off in a way that makes the hairs on the back of peter's neck rise whenever he looks at the other werewolf. it's a little better once scott goes off to do whatever it is he's going to do with the creepy peter, but isaac's half-even footfalls aren't helping.

peter picks up his guitar from its place near his side of the bed and picks at it to give his hands something to do. it's a song isaac should recognize, he plays it often enough.]

Hey, come sit down. You're gonna wear out the floorboards.

[Isaac is seeking Scott out as well. Stupid. They should have planned for this before the day of the full moon. With the good Peter, when it was just the two of them, the full moon was just a thing that happened- the two of them, running through the woods, collapsing back at the apartment in the morning. With the other Peter, Scott, Isaac, Erica- it complicates things.

They should have had more time to plan. They should have. Especially when Isaac is suddenly reminded of the conditions of Erica's death, of the race through the preserve, tumbling into the school, locking the wolves in the boiler room. They should have had more time, they should have been more aware.

Which is why he goes to Scott now. Because Scott is in control, isn't he? He can help.]

Scott- [Isaac ducks into the room quickly after he's found the alpha, his eyes slightly wide.] -we've got a problem.

[Isaac shakes his head quietly at the offer, his jaw tightening. Still, he turns to Peter, leaning up against the counter and nodding his head toward the other werewolf, his shoes scuffing across the floor.]

Too restless. Is now really the time for that?

[peter shrugs, not quite as casually boneless as usual.]

This place isn't big enough for both of us to pace and I'm being polite and not smoking inside.

[he strums a few bars, watching his fingers on the frets, before he looks up at isaac again.]

What changed with Scott? He's...different.

[Isaac just sighs and turns around then, purposely avoiding Peter's gaze and moving to stare out the window, toward- well, he doesn't know what. His arms are folded tightly over his stomach, a gesture that's more anxiety than it is out of any sort of desire for warmth.]

From what you remember? Yeah, I know. [There's a pause there, and Isaac shakes his head.] I'm not sure. We're not... it's complicated.

We've got time.

[peter doesn't do anything to try and get isaac's attention, just keeps tooling around with the guitar. the song changes, to a less-familiar one.]

He doesn't seem to trust himself.

[and that scares peter a bit, because even if he never quite trusted scott, at least scott trusted scott.]

Peter, time is... it's basically the opposite of what we have.

[For the record. Isaac huffs out a breath and his hands tighten before loosening again. Breathe.]

Scott is fine. He has to be fine. [He has to be, because if he's not then it's just Isaac and both Peters keeping a true alpha and a wild beta in check, and he highly doubts that any scenario like that will end without a body count.] We have anchors. We stick to them. He'll trust that, I know he'll- get over whatever he's going through right now and help me with Erica.

[There, frankly, isn't an option not to.]

She doesn't have one- not as far as I know. She'll still be wild.

We have time for this.

[after all, if they had something they should be doing at the moment, they would be.]

Anchors?

Huh?

[He doesn't understand the question at first. Have they really not been over this?]

It's, uh. [He sort of waves a hand, almost dismissively.] It's why we have control- what keeps us human all the time, rather than going all mass murdering every time our heart rate picks up.

[they really haven't. peter's seen them lose control and regain control but the whys of it haven't ever been exactly clear.]

Okay, that's pretty goddamn important. It's like, what? A memory, a mantra?

[Isaac makes an affirmative noise, looking conflicted for a moment before finally abandoning the stretch of floor he was pacing over to go sit next to the other werewolf so that he can explain this properly. With the night he thinks they're about to have, he'll need all the assistance he can get.]

I guess it can be. Derek taught me on my second full moon- it's anything that means something to you. To the human side of you. [He presses a hand close to his chest, his jaw a little tight.] Derek's was his anger. It doesn't have to be an emotion, though. Just... something with enough weight to make you remember what you are. Something that drives you, I guess.

Okay.

[he says that so isaac knows he was listening, but he takes a moment to think about it, still picking idly at the guitar.]

And you have one. Pretty good one, I'm guessing. No comment on using anger to hold back anger. Your friend Erica doesn't know hers yet, and Scott...

[scott doesn't trust himself, but peter doesn't see the point in saying it, so he gives a bit of a shrug instead.]

And creepy Peter?

[Isaac sort of shrugs halfheartedly at that, folding his legs under him.]

If I had to guess, revenge? That's sort of why he went crazy in the first place. Or maybe he doesn't have one and that's why nobody trusts him. I'm not really sure of the ins and outs of exactly how that works.

[His fingertips play idly with the hem of his jeans, and he's still frowning in thought. If Scott doesn't trust himself- if he's so volatile, what could that mean?]

Maybe the transition to alpha means that he needs a stronger anchor. [He doesn't like the idea of that, but says it anyway.] ...maybe the one he has now isn't working.

That guy...he's got a long game. Whatever, as long as he's gonna have his shit together.

Do you know what it is? Because it doesn't really matter to me, I barely know the guy, but if there's a reason it wouldn't work anymore, that's kinda important.

[Isaac shakes his head.]

It's not really something I ever asked him. I just know that it's not like Derek at all- maybe the opposite. [He frowns.] Friendship? Stiles? Maybe his mom? None of them are here, so that could be why.

[But all of this talk about it is just making him frustrated.]

We couldn't help him even if we knew. It's a decision that you have to make yourself. If his isn't working and he's not finding a new one... [Then chances are, he won't appreciate the two of them butting in about something so personal.]

[he shakes his head.]

Not talking about helping him that way. Just want to know what we're looking at, because that's what Erica's going to have to do either way, right? Her I might be able to help you with. Not sure I want to try the eye thing on Scott.

I dunno if the eye thing would work on even her. [Isaac admits, chewing on his lip.] Even if you could pull her out of it for a second, without an anchor, she has nothing to grab onto. No humanity.

Scott... I think he's pretty mad at me right now. [Probably for good reason, but hey.] I doubt he'll be interested in sitting down and talking about our feelings. But I don't know. If he snaps, there's a chance he'd pull me with him.

[Finally, Isaac lifts his head to look at Peter, his gaze weary. Now do you see why he was pacing?] If we both go crazy, Erica has no hope of staying sane. Then it's you and untrustworthy Peter- who I know won't be up for a fight- against a beta who hasn't seen the moon for months, a true alpha, and- well, me. And if you guys lose, we go out and try to tear the town apart.

(no subject)

The Day of the Full Moon

Other Day of Shenanigans

The Full Moon

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