exsiliumlogs | I've been lost in the valley of nightmares

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I've been lost in the valley of nightmares

Date & Time: Backdated like woah to after the masq but before zombies
Location: Walking about the city
Characters: Elrond and Galadriel
Summary: Super serious and long over due elf chat

From a party to the latest batch of arrivals to the city, Elrond had found some rather, conflicting, things going on in his mind. Estel, Arwen, Celebrian, the latter of which had him more frazzled then he was letting on. Or at least to most, to Galadriel however, he doubted he could hide it for long. Not that he particularly wanted to either, for that particular subject it would be easier to talk.

It was just working his way up to it that was the difficult part. He'd very much been trying to put it behind him, that was a part of his life he'd rather not dwell on, but with her here, that was quickly changing. Though a lot of things were.

Who better to discuss it with then Galadriel? Which would explain the walk they were presently on, and him looking particularly serious as he looks at her. "You have seen her?"

Who should be self explanatory, but he couldn't find it in himself to specify who.

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A weight seemed to rest on them both, unnoticable to most, perhaps, but to each other- and to Arwen- the people who had suffered this loss together, it was plain.

Galadriel walked slowly, her hands clasped together in front of her.

"I have, of course."

There was no need for him to specify. She knew.

It didn't surprise him that she knew, really if there was one person they'd each see and speak with immediately it would be her, wouldn't it?

His own hands are clasped together behind him, and his head is slightly bowed as he talks.

"What should we do?" He's confused and very much lost on this, wise he may be but wisdom has a habit of failing when one needs it most.

"There is no question, is there?" She glances back at him, expression still solemn. "Telling her would serve no purpose and only prolong her pain."

All this secrecy.. The list of things she cannot tell those she loves grows ever longer- and the burden of carrying the knowledge grows with it. But there was nothing to be done for it.

His own expression falls, ever so slightly at that. Confirming that he was right, even if this would be difficult. Keeping things from her is well, more out a need for now, but he's not exactly comfortable with it even if he approves.

"She will ask, what we hide will not stay hidden for long." Because neither of them will keep it up for long, or at least he thinks so.

"I know." Her pace slows and her brow furrows. "I dislike deceiving her as much as you. Yet what else may we do? Would you be the one to tell her? I do not think my heart could withstand it."

He slows his pace to match hers, lifting his head up to look her more in the eye. "I would prefer it come from myself or you then Arwen." And here he pauses, both in speaking and walking to debate how to say the rest of this. "Even if it would mean changing things between her and I for the worst."

Not that he approves of saying it in general, but if it has to come out he would prefer it come from them, to try and lighten that burden.

"No, she must not be the one to tell. They do not yet know each other; it would be a poor beginning to their relationship."

She stops with him when he pauses and shakes her head at what comes next. "She loves you. It would be difficult for her to hear, but I do not think she would hold it against you overlong. But surely we need not worry now. Her questions will come slowly and we must answer them slowly."

He nods at that, starting to walk again once more. "She will suspect things, I can only avoid her absence in Imladris for so long." You're only an excuse for so long, he wants to add but doesn't.

"Arwen will need to be told."

And she follows suit. "Of course she will. My daughter is no fool. But we must answer her slowly. I have no illusions that we may keep the truth from her forever, but we cannot tell her all at once."

Now she nods. "I will leave that to you."

He just nods once more, thankful really only for the fact that he would tell Arwen and then perhaps, tackle other issues. "She's from before we were wed."

And yet because he doesn't want to dwell on how old it makes him feel to say that he tries to push on. In some weird way of ignoring that issue. "Aragorn is here as well."

Because the best way to ignore an issue is to see who is left of their group.

"We have spoken. It will please Arwen to see him again." But she has no intention of letting Elrond skirt the Celebrían issue that neatly.

"She will want a wedding here. I trust you are aware of this?" It could be done informally, of course, as such things often were in times of war, but Celebrían would wish for the ceremony, she was certain. And why should she not? She has looked forward to it for nigh a year.

If he were anyone else he would be glaring at her right now, instead he just winces. There had been a reason he had delayed even asking after her before, and a very similar reason was here.

There was a war on and he didn't want to face the prospect of losing her again...even if it was a moot point. And yet he had told Celebrian he would consider it, hadn't he? He'd rather just delay it for a while. Perhaps after the war. "She has made it clear that is what she wishes."

"I know your worries." She turns and attempts to catch his eye. "Yet things are different here, are they not? This is a different sort of war. And you are already bound to her, ceremony or no; the risk will not change. It would be for her benefit."

She does manage to catch his eye, if only for a moment before he glances off again. His eyes are a bit more guarded, he doesn't want her reading too much from him. He's more worried about what others may make of them being married here, letting that bit out on the off chance someone would want to harm them, really. It's easier to keep under wraps if only one of them knows the ceremony.

And he'd really it rather not be done here but that's neither here nor there. "In who knows it the risk would change. We do not know who would use this for ill gain here. And there is no where for me keep her safe." There is no Imladris for them to stay in if push comes to shove, no Lorien. He's just a touch over protective at the moment, as is probably expected.

"Yes, and I am certain that those who would mean you harm will not learn that she is dear to you from the time you spend together- from the daughter you share. Unless you mean to hide those facts as well, I think it is a moot point."

But she'll allow him his distance; she doesn't attempt to meet his eyes again. "It is not my choice to make, of course. I will support whatever the two of you decide."

She had a point, a very good one at that. One that he couldn't really argue with, not with promises made to the woman in question, he just wanted to be stubborn. He'll get over it in time, really.

"And you know I will listen to what she desires." And he was that predictable. He always would be, and he had a feeling she knew that. Or she should.

So she can probably already guess what it is will happen, but he's not confirming it.

"I do." She would never doubt that. He was a good man and he loved her daughter. Even his caution was meant to protect her.

Galadriel falls back into silence as they walk, content to have said her piece.

He did, and he was doing his best, though in this case he wishes he could ignore that nagging voice, but he can't.

"I arrived with everything on my person." He's not going to say what he's talking about, though he does give her a look. Yes, he had everything, and if she couldn't read his look he wasn't sure how to say he had Vilya on him in less subtle terms.

Galadriel understood, of course. She had been wondering since first he arrived. There was a solemn silence before she nodded and replied.

"As did I."

As he had about her, but it hadn't been the right time to ask. Now was the easiest time, and he nodded.

"There is some solace in that, no?"

Guess who doesn't know Frodo is here?

"Solace? In that a source of protection has been removed from my realm?" She shakes her head. "It is better, I suppose, that it has not left my care, however..."

She halts her steps. "You are aware that Master Baggins is here, are you not?"

He is about to say something, because he feels better knowing that the rings are with their bearers at least and not where something or someone could find them in their respective realms, when she halts, stopping in turn to face her, his brows furrowed.

"Master Baggins?" And that would be a no, and some confusion as well. Which one is she speaking of?

Yes, Galadriel should have thought of that- he was closer to Bilbo than she; it was naturally that he should come to mind as well. She nods again before answering.

"Frodo." She pauses. "He also arrived with everything on his person."

Bilbo lived in his home, the two had grown close, so his thoughts had shifted to him; this place had after all brought in Celebrian, a Bilbo with the Ring was possible.

As was Frodo and he felt his shoulders drop at that, ducking his head down some. Oh, this complicated things.

"We will have to watch him carefully."

"Watch him? Or those around him?"

Yes, it complicated things. That was putting it mildly.

"Both. It will do us little good if we do not watch him, and yet detain those who would problems."

Who knew how Frodo was reacting to the Ring at the moment, let alone how he would be as time went on. This was going to be a long watch, even here.

"And if he should show signs of distress? Heavy his burden may be, but I dare not even touch its source."

And that's the problem. It would wear on him, she was certain of that. But she couldn't take it from him and wouldn't know what to do with it if she were able.

"We will have to find another way, but for now it is his burden. I would not ask you too, nor would I touch it, nor would I ask another in our care to do so."

He was certain as well, Bilbo was hardly the same hobbit he remembered first meeting, he could only imagine how Frodo would fair in time. And yet it was still a problem, a massive one at that, what were they to do?

"Easier said than done." But she nods all the same, satisfied for the moment.

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I've been lost in the valley of nightmares

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