exsiliumlogs

Entry tags:

OPEN

Date & Time: 1/4; afternoon
Location: Around the Hold
Characters: Ghost and ANYONE
Summary: Ghost is out and about, mostly sulking and trying to avoid people.
Warnings: Uh, depends on who shows up?

[Since the whole deal with Koltira, Ghost has mostly been holed up in her room. She's barely left it. But even she gets a little stir-crazy so she decided to go for a walk. A task easier said than done given the damaged state of her helmet. With it no longer functioning properly she couldn't wear it. Not wearing it means people will know what she looks like. What she sounds like.

That definitely leaves the Network out of question. At least in person she can give a false name. There's only two people, aside from maybe her roommates, that know what she really looks and sounds like.

She's completely bundled up, arms and hands completely covered. Her face mostly hidden behind a scarf and the shadow of her hood. It would have to do. Although the faint glow of her eyes wasn't hard to miss.

For the most part she's just out trying to get some "fresh" air while avoiding as many people as possible. Although avoiding people isn't easy. Eventually she settles down on a bench in what she assumes passes for a park. At least the pastime of people watching never goes out of style.]

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Because it jus' ain' something I get. [That seems a sufficient answer to her. Then again she's not used to giving more details without someone prying.

She just doesn't get the opening up thing.]

[That is something that Lee can't understand. How can she not get love? Okay, this is something that he has to ask. Everyone has a libido, don't they?]

You don't have that stirring? You must at least feel something. I could show you how but I will not if you don't want me to. Someone like you should not be so closed off. That can't be healthy.

[They're going to talk about this aren't they? They're going to enter the uncomfortable territory that Ghost much prefers to avoid.

She scowls, brow knitting as her face heats up. She gives a loud huff and turns away while pulling her hood back over her face in an attempt to hide her embarrassment.]

A-ain' like that! [Stay calm Ghost, focus. She can't get worked up or goodbye arms.]

I do I just ain'... [She shrugs without finishing the thought, she can't handle this kind of conversation right now.]

[Her expression is cute to Lee but at least he has a better idea. That huff makes him grin.]

Ah, so you choose not to. That's a shame. Someday you may and when it comes, don't fight it. You may lose a good opportunity.

[He smirked and winked then changed the subject.]

Well, aside from that, I found something interesting. Have you spoken with anyone from the Defense Coalition?

I ain' like e'eryone else. I can't jus' give in. I can't risk losin' control. [She drops her gaze and sighs. At least he's moving onto a new subject.]

No I haven't. Why?

[It's a sad thing to hear on Lee's end. He can't imagine why, but this isn't his life to force his ideals on and he values Ghost too much to force like that. Still, it makes his heart sink some.

He changes gears and it shows with a less predatory tone.]

I suggest you do sometime. I found that they are trying to help reestablish order in this chaos and it's worth a listen. Fiona is a good ally to make and I do recommend you speak with her.

Another is Duncan. He's an intelligent man with a good mind for discussion. He is not afraid to ask questions and not afraid to speak his mind. He's worth speaking with when you have the chance.

Both could use the help in finding good people to aid in our cause to a better life.

Dunno if y'noticed but I ain' so good at talkin' to people. [At least not as long as she can't hide.]

Yes, I noticed.

[His voice softens. He has hoped that she would have gone out of her shell a bit more but then she would lose her anonymity and that could be a disaster.]

Have you tried?

[Her shoulders sink a bit.]

A li'l. But then I jus' say the wrong thing an' piss people off.

[He looks to her with a slight tilt to his head. He's done that too but it's all a part of getting to know people, or at least that's how he sees it.]

Hm, this is only a subjective point of view, but I've seen a lot worse. You're blunt and some people can't handle the honest truth. This is only a suggestion, but perhaps if you tried to look at their point of view, it may help you better understand where they are coming from?

Sometimes new people have a tendency to believe that they are the only victims and even worse they react selfishly. You weren't talking to the right people.

Ain' like I really care if they're pissed. They're problem. But eventually m'gonna run outta potential allies or whate'er.

[She sighs.]

I get where they were comin' from...kinda. I jus' ain' great wi' words. Said it all wrong I guess. They don' understand what it's like t' be able to feel every life around them. T' feel how close each life is close t' death. Kinda maddenin' at times.

[She falls silent after that, pulling her hood down more over her face. She'd never admitted that out loud before. Not to anyone back home that she was far closer to or to any stranger.]

[Something she said sparks a familiarity within him. He's heard this before. The only difference between the two was the regret of destruction of two planets and he took his own life for it, while the other can feel everything around her.

His head turns toward her while he suppresses his astonishment and buries it down deep. He made a promise and he's not about to break his word. His hand reaches up to pull the material away slightly, braving to scoot in closer.]

True. However, I didn't know about your power's nature. I can imagine the feeling of separation you feel. You're not the only one to feel isolated. While it's true it's a maddening feeling, although I'm only taking your word for it, perhaps you were given that power for a reason and it can be of use.

Have you considered being a scout? Something like that is incredible.

[He smiles warmly.]

[She almost makes a move to clutch at her hood but doesn't. Instead she lets him pull it back.]

It don' work quite like that. While I can feel the energy around me I can't tell how close it is or how big the being is that's letting off the energy. I can only tell just how much of that energy is Nether.

[And then her invisibility has a time limit.]

Hm.

[He lifts his finger to his chin.]

I wonder though, you mentioned that you can feel a person that is about to die. Something like that has got to come in handy for medical reasons when life support is about to fail. Forgive me for saying this, but have you considered possibly doing something along the lines with the clinic? It may be of use to others.

[Ghost sighs and shakes her head as one hand fumbles with her zipper. She's grown too hot in the jacket, her mistake for trying to hide.]

It ain' something I like t'know. I've accept it's part of m'powers and there's nothing I can do 'bout it but I still don' like it.

I've been trained wi' my abilities t' fight an' protect. Though I gotta be real careful when m'doin' those things.

[He sighs and lifts his gaze upward.]

You seem to have this way of dashing aside suggestion and dance around purpose. I have yet to see you actively do anything to help yourself. I don't know what else to tell you, Ghost. I have been honest with you and forthright in my reasons yet you choose to take the more clandestine approach.

[He looks to Ghost now and his gaze is firm.]

I have nothing more to offer you. Yes, it's true you are powerful and you have this unique gift, but what I see is a person that's too afraid to be human. Why?

[She knows she's being a bit of brat about all this. But she has a hard time trusting people. Without anyone from her team here she feels incredibly lost and alone.

She looks away, fiddling with her gloves now.]

I know...it jus' ain' easy to trust people. Even if we're all stuck here there's still people here that would rather murder others or try to build some ridiculous empire. An' there's no tellin' many here are like people back home. That they'd rather kill the freak than try t' work wi' 'em.

No' that killin' me works...

[She shakes her head before looking over at him again with a weak smile.]

D'ya know what it's like t'die, Lee?

I've come close, and the amount of times are more than I can count on both hands.

[His voice softens but the gravely tone remains from his years of smoking and drinking.]

Regardless, there's a risk just waking up in the morning.

You can't simply think that everyone is going to be like that. Sure, there's a psycho or two but that's where you have to learn to play the game.

[She gives a soft snort that maybe have been the start of a laugh.]

First time I died I woke up at m'own funeral several days later. I was confused and I ached. I didn' know what had happened. But I also so very scared, probably more so than all my family members that were starin' at me. Only thing I could do was run away, no' an easy task right after bein' dead.

I was twelve...an' after something like that y'kinda stop lumpin' y'self in wi' humans.

[He listens and there is a sense of finality that she gives but he pushes once more.]

So, you're saying that just because you can wake up from the dead that it's over for you to try to form any bonds?

[He scoffs and shakes his head in a dismissive manner. If he didn't see his brother do it or his nephew, he would have already ran.]

I don't know what is worse. Dying or killing off your ties of being human.

Any other time, I might have been freaked out, but I know better than that. Big deal, if you woke up from your funeral. It's commendable, actually. I wasn't trivializing it or anything of the such, but I get this feeling you simply gave up.

Maybe I have given up but that's how it works back home. Mutants ain' considered human an' if people know what y'are or e'en think you a mutant or whate'er you're safer staying away from humans. Otherwise y'might end up in a lab or dead. An' trust me, those labs ain' a nice place t'be.

I might have a chance here but I ain' used t' dealin' wi' mos' people face t' face.

[He's heard the term before and even more he met another one even if he doesn't know it yet. The way Ghost is resigning to be alone is saddening for Lee to hear.]

I see. I'm sorry I bothered you about it. Whether good or bad, I still think you can. It would be a shame for you to live a life of loneliness without knowing what it's like to love, make love or have love when you resign yourself to death.

I think I overstayed my welcome.

[He stands up and begins to walk away.]

[She's silent for a few moments and then he goes to leave. She starts to say something, to move to stop him but in the end she stops herself. Instead she pulls her hood back over her head and moves the scarf back over her lower face. If he feels like leaving then she's going to let him. She has no right to make him stay and listen to her whine.

She knows she whining. But she's too afraid of things that are unlikely to happen in this place.

Instead she's just going to remain there lost in her thoughts and mentally berating herself for how stubborn she's being.]

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