exsiliumlogs | 01 | Stabby Feels Central Ahoy

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01 | Stabby Feels Central Ahoy

Date & Time: 6th January, Night time

Location: Lucy's room or more precisely Lucy's bed

Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Lucy Heartfilia

Summary: Natsu goes to Lucy's room to figure out how to give his friend the worst kind of news.

Warnings: Lots of feels but other than that nothing much.

Dark. The dark would help him focus. Her scent would help imagine her in his head and allow him to play out way after way to reveal his deception to Lucy. Natsu was never one to meditate this much on any topic. But this, this was something beyond serious. Erza told him to tell the truth as soon as possible but every method and angle he tried until now only ended in the bitter scent of Lucy's tears. And honestly how could it end any other way? To find out that all of her family is dead. Gone before she could ever make amends.

There he was, sitting cross legged atop her bed his head in his hands as he growled his frustration through gritted teeth. Why? Why was there no way to not make her suffer like that again? She didn't deserve this. She was Lucy of Fairy Tail. She never wronged or hurt anyone. So then why did she have to lose everything beyond fairy Tail? She was not like the rest of them yet. She still had him despite the flaws. And Natsu could see he did love her especially that one time they went to pick her up when she ran off to her father's guild where a robbery took place. He saw that look. The look of a loving and proud father.

So then why couldn't he wait a month more? A year more? At least a week more after they came out of the First Master's spell. Stupid sickness. Stupid unfair fate conspiring against a kind and strong girl. A girl who laughed off the danger of having her skull crushed, choosing to stay with him trapped underneath stone. Why did he have to hurt that kind of girl?

Before Natsu could think on that any further though he heard the door to the apartment open and in came a fresher waft of the scent he had been inhaling for several hours now. He wasn't ready. But then he would never be ready. This was going to hurt her one way or another. So he sat there, head hung low trying to decide what kind face he would greet Lucy with

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They were both bad but losing her parents was definitely worse. He had an inkling of what that was like but unlike Igneel, Jude was gone forever. Natsu had no answers. No magic way out. Natsu didn't let her go even once the tears were spent.

"It always does. It hurts as much as you loved the other person. But you're not alone, Lucy." For all that was worth. Natsu stroke the back of her head soothingly trying to convey what comfort he could. He really wasn't all that skilled in this kind of battle. Natsu squeezed her a little closer.

"So don't carry it all on your shoulders."

His words, his warmth and the feel of his arms around her - it was almost enough to make her tear up again. She managed to hold it back, knowing full well she was only going to cry later, into her pillows, when she was alone.

She wanted a spell. She wanted something to take away the pain and sadness. She couldn't bear knowing her father and her mother were both gone. An emotional blow - though she might think such words privately to herself, in a normal frame of mind she wouldn't say it out loud.

But the vulnerability brought it out in her. "Natsu..." She tightened her arms around him, taking comfort in his warmth. He was right - she had him, and she had Erza - and back home she had all of Fairy Tail, Levy, Gray, Wendy - everyone who supported her when she was troubled.

"Don't leave me alone."

It could be taken in the short term for right there, right then - or the long term. But either way, she couldn't bear it if she ever lost him. Any of her friends, really, but especially him.

He looked up a bit at the call of his name but didn't do anything more. He listened to her sobs and breathing, to the thumping in her chest. Unfortunately Erza's second order would have to be forgotten. Lucy had enough shocks from this alone. Natsu had no intention of adding to it.

He realy wished he had that spell for her. Would give anything to make it even but it just wasn't possible. In this world or back home. Loss was something no one had a cure for. No one except time and friends.

Her plea actually surprised him for a moment when it really shouldn't have. Maybe a part of him still expected some kind of punishment for lying to her the way he did. Regardless, Natsu pressed in closer and murmured next to Lucy's ear.

"I never will, Lucy." he promised, for this moment forgetting about everything else except helping Lucy through her troubled time. It should then come as no surprise that he had no intention of leaving her tonight unless she would tell him to.

What good was magic if it couldn't take away this pain?

At Natsu's promise, whispered so close like that, she didn't flinch in surprise, but relaxed against her friend, relieved. She couldn't express in words how glad she was that he was there - even if he was the one to tell her about her father's death in the first place. It was better than suffering the grief alone.

She heaved a soft sigh, though privately she was kiiiind worried that the second he let her go she was going to drop like a rock. Which would actually be hilarious in any other situation. "Thank you." SHe whispered instead. Just don't go breaking THAT promise.

It also should come as no surprise that it would be one of those few nights vocally that she didn't mind him staying overnight with her. Mark it on the calendar!

Magic was powerful but not all powerful. Igneel hammered that lesson into him from the start. There would be things he couldn't solve by burning or smashing. Back then he didn't fully realize what he meant with those words but now he knew. Didn't make it any less unfair though.

Still he felt her grow more slack against him and that was a cue for him to hold her even tighter lest she slipped out of his arms and that would've REALLY not helped.

"I don't deserve any thanks. But as long as I can help...that's all I need." Natsu said before slowly pulling his head back.

"I think you need to take a seat right about now." He hardly needed to but standing was probably becoming more effort than it was worth for her.

Completely unfair. She slowly pulled her arms away, nodding mutely. She may not be in tears, but the usual spunk was much more subdued, as one would expect. Standing did feel like too much effort, so she was glad once he helped her to sit, resting her head in her hands.

He might feel like he didn't deserve any thanks, but she felt a little guilty for lashing out at him. "Sorry... I..." Shouldn't have snapped at him? Hit him? Where would she even begin. It did upset her that he lied, but he hadn't done it to hurt her.

"Don't be. I did hide it from you. I don't really have any excuse for that." Natsu said shaking his head. Besides it wasn't like her hits really did any damage to him. THat and he got a pretty nice beating from Erza for the whole mess.

He just sat next to Lucy joining his own hands in his lap after she was out of his arms. At least...the worst was behind them. And for better or for worse their bond didn't suffer any ireperable damage. And that would've probably been the worst outcome.

Edited 2013-01-06 13:11 (UTC)

Well true. ".. well, while what you did was monumentally stupid..." MONUMENTALLY. "You had your heart in the right place. I.." She folded her hands, frowning as she leaned forward. "I can't... be angry at you for that."

She must be feeling more vulnerable than she thought. She just had the most random want to lean against him. Feeling his arms around her when he was holding her while she was crying just felt natural. ...definitely had to be just because of the comfort. She'd probably have thought the same about anyone else who'd been holding her....Right?

Natsu couldn't help a flickering flinch at the 'monumentally' bit but he didn't look away anymore. But things were already starting to look up at least. Natsu eyed Lucy closely before leaning closer.

Yes of course that was all there was to it. Just the same way he wanted to hug her again but given they were sitting on her bed that would be kind of awkward to pull off....unless... Natsu suddenly shifted up against the head of Lucy's bed, putting the pillows behind his back before he grabbed Lucy's wrist and pulled her up against him. Never one for words. Actions spoke louder in his book and action was his specialty.

"I'll make up for it with this."

She.. hadn't anticipated that from her friend, that was for certain. But then she didn't know what to expect beyond that she just didn't want to be alone tonight. She fell silent, her eyes misting slightly when she thought of her father, her thumb running lightly over h-

Wait what was that? She blinked in surprise when Natsu's hand grabbed her wrist, and then let out a startled squawk when she was pulled up against him.

"N...Natsu..? W-what. . ."

Natsu quickly turned Lucy around in his arms so her back was facing him. Sorry if you were going to get dizzy from that.

"Don't ask. I don't really know either but I saw this in a book once. Thought it might help so I decided to try it." Natsu said with a look to the side. Honestly what WAS he doing? He wasn't one for mushy stuff after all. So then why he was going so far out of his metaphorical pond was a million jewel question.

OHGOD you turned her too fast. But at least this meant she wouldn't have to look at him - not that looking at him was a BAD thing but in that particular... just stop Lucy. "O.. oh."

.. What book was he looking at? Nevermind. Of course he'd do something like this. He was a friend that ... wanted her to feel better. Nothing more than that. But it was still -really- outside of what she expected from him. Tentatively she rested her arms over his, This was weird. Really weird. But ...kinda nice. "I.. I see."

W..well at last it was just them. Not like anyone was going to walk in on her or anything and... get the wrong idea.

Well sorry but looking at her face that close was dangerous. Why it was dangerous he had no idea he just knew it was dangerous. Every since that party he'd realized a lot of things were dangerous when dealing with Lucy.

"Y-Yeah. So we can stay like this for a bit." In all honestly he didn't plan on luling her to sleep like this. He was more than aware she came back from training so she had intended to change into something more comfortable and call it a night before he dropped that bomb on her. But when someone holds another like this things tend to get too peaceful to the point that the body just relaxed completely.

Edited 2013-01-06 17:52 (UTC)

There were many factors that were going to end up lulling her to sleep- being held in his arms, where she was comfortable and warm was definitely a large one factor. Being tired both physically and emotionally also helped.

She curled her fingers over his hand, "I... " would really like that. Nooo she can't say that, that's way too embarrassing. "Okay that's... good." So she apparently traded embarrasing for awkwardly lame. Good job.

"Um..." She shifted a little, finding a more comfortable position, and trying not to think TOO hard about how comfortable it- he - she was. "What..book did you say you saw this in..?"

Awkwardly lame was fine. He certainly was not going to tease her about it. Because the story behind the book is equally lame. Natsu frowned to himself for a moment thinking of asking Lucy not to laugh. But then laughing would probably do her good...ah screw his pride.

"It was uh...um a picture book. I was still small so I might be hazy on a few details." Natsu started off before rumaging through his memories for the exact tale.

.. It was a what? "A picture book?" She turned her head slightly, glancing at Natsu out of the corner of her eye. "What was it about?"

Yeeeeeeah she was probably going to laugh when she discovered the origin. But that was okay right? She was allowed to laugh a little after everything.

"A picture book. About two bears. One of them was afraid of the thunder. They had a party one night and they had so much fun they got stuck indoors cause of a storm." Natsu started, slowly getting into the flow of the story and recounting the events as he remembered them. Which might have been a little bit diferent from the origin but hey as long as Lucy got a story that was all that mattered.

Was he serious? She couldn't tell, it was hard to see his face from that angle. Which was probably good. But the thought that Natsu had the idea because he read a picture book about bears that were afraid of thunder...

She stifled a soft giggle, though he could probably still hear it. Heck, feel it since she was leaning against his chest. "But...where did ...this come from in the story?"

Yes he was damn serious. What? Couldn't a guy look at picture books when he was a kid? He did feel her giggling and while he did feel a bit embarassed, there was no hiding the faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I was getting to that. I thought you didn't like getting the ending to a story spoiled for you." Then again she never asked for the full story did she? Well details and technicalities and all that.

"So lightning started going off and the scaredy bear jumped up and hid under the table. No matter what the other bear did the scaredy one wouldn't come out." Okay standard story so far right?

Edited 2013-01-06 19:39 (UTC)

Sure he could! She thought it was adorable! "Sorry." She smiled faintly, sheepish. It was true, she -hated- it when people spoiled the ending to a book. "Go on."

She'll be good and be quiet for the rest of the story, her body relaxing quietly as she listened to the sound of Natsu's voice. Who knew he'd read something so adorable when he was little? That was just precious.

She certainly sounded better and that made his shame all worthwhile. Natsu huffed with mock indignation before continuing on.

"The brave bear kept trying to talk the scared bear from under the table....you know calling them brave bear and scared bear is a pain. Wanna name em something?" And now it was turning into an interactive story. Not that he'd know of the concept.

The story was a nice little distraction, both from the news about her father's death, for the moment; and the feel of his arms around her. She could be leaning against another pillow just - really really close next to him.

"Name them? Er..." Braining Bear Names is a little beyond her mental capacity right now, but she gives it a shot anyway. "Bearsy and...er.. Bob."

Don't laugh.

Hey as long as she wasn't getting crushed by the grief again or he didn't have to leave her alone for the night, it was all fine with him.

Though the names. It was hard not to laugh but somehow, SOMEHOW he managed to keep it in. There was just one more detail.

"Alright then. S-So which is which?"

If she asked him, Bearsy would probably be the scared one with Bob being the brave one...he wasn't any better with asigning names either it would seem.

Bob sounded like a nice strong name, she'd probably agree. "Bearsy is probably the scared one." She said after a moment of quiet thought.

She might have an idea that Natsu was trying not to snicker at her choice in names, but he asked so he had no one but himself to blame for her choices!

Oh hey he got it right. Totally as planned. Totally not just sheer luck nope.

"Okay so B-Bearsy was being stubborn and scared under the table and no matter what Bob did he wouldn't budge. Bob knew the storm was going to last for a good while so he was determined to get Bearsy out from under the table. Until he realized there was another way.

Bob put his big paws on the table and pushed hard. Bearsy curled into a ball the moment the next lightning strike hit and it was a close one too since the light was really bright through the windows." Natsu was getting into it probably a little more than he intended and ideas to ad lib were starting to form in his head but he stuck to what he remembered. Which was already fairly diferent if they were to consult the book.

"Bob told Bearsy to get up saying the floor was cold at first. Bearsy wouldn't give in saying he wouldn't move from the spot until it was all over. So Bob did the only thing he could. He sat down next Bearsie and poked him in the ribs to get him to uncurl."

No Actually that is what Natsu would have done in Bob's shoes but hey it kept the story going.

01 | Stabby Feels Central Ahoy

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