exsiliumlogs | [closed] So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

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[closed] So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

Date & Time: forward dated: Friday 22nd – Sunday 24th March
Location: a fair way into the Outlands
Characters:
Asami Sato

chittybang, Cedric Diggory

theboywhodied, Collette

whatsupcroc, Ellie Linton

reconnaissance, Fi Maxwell

burnsinvisibly, Katniss Everdeen

accidentalrebellion, Mitsuki Ishikawa

drowns, Peter Parker

arachnoid, Steph Brown

controlledvariable
Summary: Nine teenagers with varying degrees of trauma decide to go camping.
(Actually, eight teenagers get bullied into going camping by Ellie.)
Warnings: Not sure yet; I'll add them as they come up. At the very least some language, and fallout from PTSD.

Ellie had found the place once before on her wandering into the Outlands; a dilapidated old barn, with stone walls and a roof that was, by some miracle, completely intact despite all the evidence of nature clambering up its walls and trying to reclaim it for the land. There's a hill leading down to it, and if you follow that hill down, you meet the woods, a big lake. It's beautiful, she thinks. Nowhere near so wild as Hell, but that was better.

Finding that place had been how it started, before thinking about getting some of the others together had kicked in. A way to unwind, after the body swap. At the very least a chance to get some decent people all together in the same place (and maybe a way to apologise to Asami for pointing a gun at her that one time).

OOC: Party style, adventures everyone.Just go wild, if you want it to be set at a particular time, maybe specify in the subject line? I'm doing some starters just... in case that helps but do whatever you like tbh. YEAH. There's also the ooc plotting post so chuck folks in there and scheme and let the madness and CR unfold.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You know me. Honesty is the best policy.

( Except for how she sometimes doen't talk to Steph and just shuts down about problems and confusion and weirdness. Except for that, honesty is the best policy.

And winding Steph up after she was a giant jerk earlier is the best policy, also, which is why she's kissing her on the cheek, and flicks her nose. ) Idiot.

That is what we agreed to.

[It's not the first time Ellie has kissed her on the cheek; the last time was to distract her, but after the strange tension, this one leaves her even more confused. But she's nothing if not good at thinking on her feet, so she just smiles, then sticks her tongue out at Ellie.]

Aren't you sweet.

( Ouch. That makes her feel guilty, and she's not quite sure why. )

Yeah, really sweet. That's why I tried to shove you in a river. That's real friendship, you know that? You're lucky to have me.

( Hah. )

Better than knocking me unconscious and leaving me on a rooftop in the middle of the night.

[She says it with a grin but that's actually a thing that happened.]

Sometimes the examples you use are worryingly specific, you know that, right?

( Etched with concern, fading out that smile and the effort at false cheer to try and force them back into a comfortable zone. )

[No, Ellie, don't make that face.]

I have a specific pool of experiences to draw from. [She's still smiling, but there's something a bit pleading in it, a silent it's okay, please don't worry.]

( She's Ellie, of course she worries. She also protectively stalks her friends, and goes after people that hurt said friends. All in a day's work.

There's a comment on the tip of her tongue about if Vanadi ever, but she bites down on it and keeps the thought to herself. )

Better than-- ( No, this is a bad game to play. She grinds to a halt with that game, too, and idly tosses a marshmallow into the fire. ) Feel like mutant deer for dinner?

( Subtle, Linton. )

[She frowns, part of her wanting to ask better than what? but mostly she doesn't want to linger on this, in case in brings back the awkwardness from before.

So she just wrinkles her nose.] Do we even know if that thing's safe to eat? I have a geiger counter, maybe we should check it.

I've eaten the stuff from out here, before.

( Things she hasn't told Steph about her camping out: experimental meat decisions. ) Not the deer, mind you. Worst comes to worst, I eat a whole let of venison and wake up in the infirmary tomorrow.

( Ellie. )

[Ellie.

Steph looks a little bit mortified]

I didn't know you were eating the stuff out here! [God Ellie she can't take you anywhere.] I'm pretty sure the resurrection tech isn't there so you can eat radioactive deer.

Sometimes. It's good. I was thinking I'd start hunting more often, bring meat back and stuff. It's fresh, and free - better than the stuff you'll get at the shops.

( She shrugs, a bit guilty. ) It just reminded me of back home. We never bought meat, we always slaughtered it ourselves.

El. [She understands, she does, but she's also seen the state of the animals out here.

She's seen Bludhaven, after Chemo was dropped on it, and it makes something like fear curl in her stomach.]

Will you let me do some tests on anything you bring back? So I can check it's safe to eat?

I know it's feral.

( Quickly; just slightly defensive, slightly depressed, feeling at odds over the strangest things with city kids around. People who had a different frame of reference for normal, who had frames of reference that they still remembered that she couldn't quite master.

Without looking at Steph, she nods. ) That sounds smart.

Have you seen the aftermath of nuclear warfare?

[It's not fair, she knows, to drag something like warfare up with Ellie. But there's a difference between feral and radioactive.

Cass was protecting Bludhaven, when it happened. It was sheer luck that she wasn't there when Chemo fell. Dana wasn't so lucky.]

I saw pictures from World War Two, in history class.

( That was about the extent of her experience. It makes her feel a little stupid, so she's studying her hands, picking at the skin around her nails. )

It was just food.

( So very, very quietly. It was food, and she's used to starving, and hunting and doing things with her own hands felt so familiar. Blood that wasn't human, clean deaths, ritual. )

They dropped a bomb on Gotham's sister.

[It's an explanation, maybe, for why this troubles her so much, for why she didn't just let it go.

Gently, carefully, like she's not sure it's allowed, she reaches out to take Ellie's hands.]

I just don't want you to get hurt. Things that might've been safe back home aren't safe here.

( There aren't words for the horror that strikes her face, dashed across it like blood over a rock, that rock into a skull. She winces with her own thoughts, the violence in them, and she's scrambling. Just as well Steph is taking her hands, because she would have been reaching for Steph's. )

Who? Why would they do that?

( Who would do that? Who would want to see that again, see any kind of war or destruction like that again? It's horrifying, and it's real, and it's war that was too close to Steph. Here was different, this wasn't her home, but that's like a war on Steph's doorstep. )

Nothing's safe at home. ( Dismissive, brushing it away, before the impact of what she admits can catch up. ) Did you-- I mean. ( What happened? Was Steph safe? )

Edited 2013-04-17 15:19 (UTC)

There's this creature, Chemo. It's not human, just this.... mass of chemicals and toxic waste.

[She doesn't think she's ever told this story before, because everyone back home knows it. Letting go of one of Ellie's hands, she rubs at her brow, trying not to think too hard.]

A bunch of supervillains dropped him on Bludhaven and over a hundred thousand people died, before Superman managed to fix it. He wasn't supposed to be radioactive, except... in the damage left by him, there was this radioactive fallout.

[A pause, a sigh, because this is all came from second hand sources, some of it told more frantically, depending on cirumstances. She remembers reading the newspaper.]

So they dropped what was basically a bomb on the city, and then there was all this shit for a year - I was in Africa at the time - and then there was another explosion, definitely nuclear that time. The city's just a crater, now.

[She looks at Ellie, something twisted in her expression, before she shrugs.]

Supervillains.

( Her expression twists, and she doesn't know if it's horror for Bludhaven and the people, if there is hatred of the villains, or if it's the whistle and shatter of bombs, of buildings destroyed. Craters, and waves of heat and noise, and Robyn pulling a pin from under her shirt. Destruction, and bombs, and craters, and Robyn's smile because she didn't know if she'd made the right decision or not, and Ellie just trying to yell her name.

Ellie can't-- focus, can't see, just shuts her eyes for a second, and her hands are gripping one of Steph's, and the other on Steph's shoulder, because she has to grip something for a second, has to hold herself steady. If she can keep herself from shaking then it won't be real and Steph won't notice, they can carry on.

But people did this. Not even invaders, people so desperate for room to breathe that they took it from someone else. Just wanted destruction, it seemed like. Supervillains.

Major Harvey, Harvey's Heroes, the Showground, people's families. Robyn. Waves of heat and sound and scared smiles. )

They should die. All of them.

[Shit.

She holds Ellie's hand, her other going to Ellie's back, a firm touch in the hopes it will steady her, because she doesn't want to risk wrapping her up in a hug. It was a bad idea to talk about this, she should have let it go, should have found another way to describe it, instead of making Ellie look like this.

There's an apology on the tip of her tongue, but she swallows it with what Ellie says.]

I know.

[No hesitation, because she saw what happened, knows how many people died.

But that part isn't important right now.]

Ellie. Tell me what to do.

[She's pretty sure she just managed to trigger Ellie, and she needs to know how to help.]

I'm fine.

( More desperation than assertion, less fire than she wanted, though she can feel her skin prickling, t-shirt sticking to her skin, knows she's still shaking and she knows this isn't then, she knows it isn't, and bombs and-- ) Fuck.

( She might swear a lot, but it never sounds like that, doesn't have that painful crack and waver, her voice doesn't shake like a leave rattled in the winter breeze, rattled and battered until something will tear it from the branches and hurl it to the ground. She always thought leaves fluttered, but she knew better now. They were pushed.

What did the others do? When she was like this what did they do? She can't think, because they'd all become to wrecked. ) Blanket, I'll just-- I just need a blanket.

( Like a child, she can feel her mind offering, can remember Major Harvey calling her a child, a selfish teenager, naive. He sent people to their deaths, violent and bloody and drawn out, even if there was no radiation monster. That part felt too surreal. )

Edited 2013-04-17 15:59 (UTC)

[God, she feels so fucking stupid.]

I'm sorry, El.

[She moves without hesitation, grabbing up one of the blankets and wrapping it around Ellie's shoulders, holding it firmly around her.]

Is it okay if I touch you?

[Because some people are okay with being touched, and some people very much aren't, and she doesn't want to do the wrong thing right now, not when it's her fault that this is even happening.]

( Ellie jerks her head, closest thing to a nod and a yes that she can manage. The words might have comethat yes, Steph could touch her, but she can't remember hearing them or speaking them, but after her past attacks she knows that what she remembers and what happens aren't always all that closely connected.

She's sure she's speaking. Isn't she? Sure and speaking?

She's trying to say Robyn's name. Mouth it out and say it, the way she'd tried so hard to at the prison, just so Robyn would know that someone had realised what she was doing, and she's flinching at the crack of wood in the fire because of the thunderous split of stone, glass, metal in the heat.

Just-- give her warmth, and arms around her, and she can drag herself back together, and she can hate the fact that Steph has seen her like this later. )

[It's enough of a yes for Steph to gently guide Ellie down onto the makeshift bed, putting herself between the fire and Ellie as she lays down beside her. She tucks an arm under Ellie's head, a temporary pillow, and wraps the other around her waist, stroking along her spine, trying to ease some of the tension.

There's nothing she can really do except to offer what little comfort she can while they wait this out. But she does press a kiss to Ellie's hair whispering nonsense things like it's alright and I've got you, hoping that the sound of her voice will help, even if the words don't mean much.]

( How long they're there, she has no idea, just that eventually she can breathe without it being a battle. Her hands are knotted in Steph's shirt and the blanket, anchoring herself, holding on for dear life. Eventually, she doesn't feel her entire body revolting against her, nerves alight. It feels more steady and more safe, and she's checking her own breath, again.

Without thinking, she's pressing closer to Steph. She's warm and safe and just Steph, who's been better for soothing away nightmares than anyone else. She's not quite there, but she realises Steph, recognises her, and there's no one else she'd want here. No matter what way she jumped there was disaster, but Steph made it better. Just her being there now, that meant it might get better.

Her fingers loosen in Steph's shirt, and then curl again, before she murmurs a near-silent apology. ) Sorry.

[closed] So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road

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ugh fucking comics canon

marsden and comics, why did we combine the two

it is a recipe for disaster

we are like moths to the flame of disaster

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