[semi-closed]

[substitutable]

Date & Time: following the mission in world #1530120; over the course of a few days
Location: in various locations
Characters: the Mekakushi Dan & their acquaintances (see the tags for a full list!)
Summary: The Dan needed to cope and deal with the shock and aftermath of the mission, mostly privately but that is a lot of one-on-one talking so we're putting them all here instead of making a gazillion logs.
Warnings: Talks of death, talks of insecurities, a lot of sad talking.

The mission is over, with one world lost, and a dan member they thought they lost came back thanks to the workings of the Initiative. But everything is only fun and games until someone loses a life once, and now the members of the Mekakushi-dan must deal with their shocking encounter with reality. Maybe they're lucky that they still have each other and their friends to turn to. This post is prose and action spam friendly!

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[clinical]

Eyes don't flicker up when she steps in; his nose can already identify her. Only Kido uses that perfume. Normally, he would identify her by her footsteps. But those are different.

"So do you growing kids. Even gang leaders," he replies, not looking up. She has seen war. He knows it. Her voice, her step—he has heard variations of this ever since he joined the military. "I hope you'll keep that in mind the next time we're called to a battlefield."

[concealingeyes]

Kido glances down, hand holding her arm as she hugs it across her chest. He said, in very simple terms, the thing tearing her up inside.

"We won't be going next time. I didn't think it would be like that. None of the other missions were... But I know we got lucky, so..." She stops, voice choking up for a moment. But she wants to be better than that and takes a breath. "Sorry about that. Anyway, I promise I'll take care of them."

[clinical]

But Jade hears it.

He looks up. She has experienced personal loss in this right. One of the Mekakushi Dan, or another person under her charge? If it were mere injury, she would not be so demoralized. If it were one of her team, she would be at that person's side, not here.

Jade sighs and finishes his drink. "As you're here, why don't you get a drink for this old man? I suppose no one will complain if you take one for yourself."

[concealingeyes]

"Sure. What do you want? I can make it since I barged in."

He doesn't seem as scary as before. Was he mad at her or something else? Come to think of it, it might have been a bad mission for Jade, too. She didn't bother to worry about him because he seemed so ready to deal with anything. Unlike the rest of them, he actually has seen war, commanded troops even.

Kido realises she must be just standing there in a daze and shakes the thoughts out. Even if Jade isn't okay, she doesn't think asking will help. Jade isn't that type, is he?

[clinical]

Jade knows his strengths and weaknesses. He isn't good with the Seventh Fonon, fontech, or emotions. On the battlefield, he used to give his soldiers clear, concrete orders to follow until he could bring them home to have their trauma properly treated. And it's what he defaults to now. "Strong tea. No sugar or milk. If you have nothing better to do, you might consider preparing dinner for the quartet of old bachelors living here."

[concealingeyes]

Kano should be asleep for a while longer. How could he not with how little he's slept? It should be fine... and she has no idea what cooking skills the apartment has in general.

"I guess I'll see what ingredients you guys have got. If I can make something easy for you guys, it's not a problem. I cook for the group usually." Kido sighs and rubs the back of her head. Only a few days without cooking and she already feels rusty at it. "Are you going to keep working? It's fine as long as you take a break to eat."

[clinical]

"Given the level of conversation you're capable of, I doubt I'll be required to interrupt my work." It's said witha fine mix of confidence, mockery, and sincerity. Kido is hardly intelligent enough for the kind of technical conversation that would stop him from multitasking on this.

It may also have accidentally given her permission to speak if she liked, even as he continued working and so gave her no obligation to speak if she disliked. Funny, how that worked out.

[concealingeyes]

"I think you just called me stupid," she mutters even as she starts to tie her hair back. Food, right. They were bound to have something she could make here and if not, well, her apartment was only a step away.

With the apartments built as they are, it's not hard to talk to him if she wants. It's even tempting. Rice, well, at least they have that. Some chicken?

"I guess with the kind of brain you have, I don't have to say what happened, right?" She talks as she goes through their kitchen. Some sort of spice powder. "Do you like dry curry? I can throw in extra stuff to make it filling."

[clinical]

"Did I? My apologies." Jade doesn't glance back at her. He lifts a hand, gathering fonons to test them. The rate is close, but a little different from Auldrant. He amends his equations.

"Curry will be fine, thank you." The other question he leaves unanswered. And that is answer enough.

[concealingeyes]

More than enough. Kido concerns herself more with the preparation of the meal than with her own thoughts. That way, nothing strange or concerning can dig into her brain.

"I make it kind of spicy. I guess that isn't bad, though." A beat passes and she starts talking in the same way, not wanting to let any words linger too long. "I'm not going to do that again but what if there's something mandatory? Or they come here? What should we do then?"

[clinical]

Jade might simply say that she should seek more competent soldiers out for protection and stay back. But the memory of what happened to two seasoned soldiers under his care is too fresh for him to think the idea anything but a sorry joke.

"You can find somewhere to hide and stay there or assist the medical dreams. You can also train yourselves to work with trained combatants. Your abilities could easily complement those of a fonist. Kano's could be of use to any frontline soldier. If you can't stand staying back, then you can make yourselves useful to those who are capable of handling a battlefield."

[concealingeyes]

Kano on the frontlines? For a moment she freezes before pushing back the idea. It's just a suggestion. They'll stick together, whatever they do, but going back to fighting like that... no.

"I don't mind us being support. I just don't want to rely on hiding." Ironic coming from her but she doesn't know where else to shift their focus. Going home? No way if it would endanger Seto and Mary. The best they can do is try to win this war.

[clinical]

"Then stay off the battlefield." There is no sentimentality or spared feelings in it. "Turn your work to medical aid."

[concealingeyes]

"If they come here, we can rely on others and support them but if it doesn't work, I want a back-up plan."

There isn't much she can stand firm on right now but every way to protect the people she loves is it.

[clinical]

"I don't believe I need to tell you that merely practicing with a sword is not enough to make a person fit to fight. When it comes to killing another to save yourself or those you care for, many find they are incapable. There is no shame in that."

[concealingeyes]

"I know. I... probably can't kill anyone." Probably. She doesn't want to think about it. In a situation like that, what would she do? Cower? Or... something terrible? She doesn't know what she's capable of and she doesn't want to be in a situation to find out.

But it's possible. Possibilities spin around in her mind and she at least knows in that one single situation, she sacrificed herself without a second thought. In a way, that's scary too, isn't it? What she needs is a middle-ground: survive.

"It's about living, you know. I want to live... and I want the others to live, too. I don't want any of us to die. So, whatever happens, that's my goal. But it's a pain here to try to think of all the things that can go wrong. We could be attacked tomorrow and be unable to hide. The enemy is way beyond us. I just want us safe and alive. It's my job to ensure that."

[clinical]

He glances up from his work long enough to study her for a moment. "What kinds of threats did you face at home?"

[concealingeyes]

Since they arrived, Kido tried to remain vague on things back home. No one needed to be involved with it and even now she doesn't want to discuss all the hazy details with Jade. It would put him in a different position than he is now. But since he asked, Kido gives a general rundown of some of the things she and the others have dealt with, even if not getting much into the why of their missions.

"...In short, it's nothing like this at all," she mutters, sighing to herself.

[clinical]

"Perhaps you need to consider how that may fit with this. You may not be a soldier, but you aren't entirely unskilled at dealing with high stress situations." The terrorist attack, for example, was not something most normal children could respond to so well.