this is the anti-spam log: take 2 [semi-closed]

[substitutable]

Date & Time: throughout June; label your own dates!
Location: places!
Characters: the Mekakushi-dan + friends (one-on-one threads, open through plotting!)
Summary:

a collection of threads throughout June following the Dan's activity with one another as well friends connected to the Dan, put into one post to avoid spamming the comms. Sometimes a dan roll call.

Warnings: Uuuuuh idk lots of gross sick people. Dying! Sad teenagers and friends!

The virus is spreading, and even the Dan is catching it. And so are their friends. This is whatever they decide to do during June while sick. Prose and action spam friendly!

Comments

[concealingeyes]

So's yours. It's gross.

[Saying that, she laces their fingers together. It's so uncomfortable. He feels so clammy. But she doesn't want to let go at all. It doesn't make sense but it's a little easier to breathe like this.]

[duplicitoussight]

[Her touch is too hot--it almost feels like it's burning his already feverish skin. But he gently rubs his thumb against her hand, feeling the sweat stick.]

If it's so gross, I guess I should let go. [But he makes no move to.]

[concealingeyes]

Don't.

[Soft but firm, without any hesitation. In fact, it comes out too fast. But she's disappeared twice and woken up from it twice and she doesn't want a third time, she doesn't want to see him disappear like that, too. It doesn't matter if you come back. It shouldn't happen at all.]

[duplicitoussight]

[He has the gall to smile, even though she's clearly worried like he is. He speaks in a hoarse whisper.]

Is that an order from Leader?

[concealingeyes]

[That smile is both a relief and an annoyance. Don't pretend you're fine when you sound like that...]

Yeah. So don't let go.

[Kido copies his gesture, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, too.]

[duplicitoussight]

[It's comforting to feel her skin brush against his. This close, too, he can hear her breathing. The exhaustion he's been fighting off creeps back in and his eyes fall half-lidded. As long as he can hear her breaths...]

You're lucky. I'm too tired to.

[concealingeyes]

You're so stupid...

[It looks like he'll finally sleep. Even though she's exhausted, she can hold out long enough for this. Kano needs to rest. Kido keeps her eyes focused on him, still stroking his hand. Just sleep already.]

[duplicitoussight]

[His response is a tired smile. For once, he's keeping quiet. As she strokes his hand, so he does for her. He's not going to sleep until she does. Or at least, until he passes out.]

[concealingeyes]

[Another rarity is the small smile he gets. Idiot. But she doesn't want to sleep. It's so stupid. Now she's the idiot, because she knows it's better to just rest for both their sakes. She even knows he'll rest easier if she does. But she's spent the last two years trying to take care of him and...

Kido compromises.

They're already close but the body heat almost overwhelms her as she shifts, ducking her head to tuck it neatly into his neck. The warmth probably isn't a blush, just the fever, but the dizziness gets worse. This probably isn't a good idea. She can hardly breathe well as it is. But this close, she can feel his chest rise and fall. She can count the seconds to it. And for each one, they're both safe.]

[duplicitoussight]

[That smile is a surprise enough to jolt his smile to a genuine one. He's stupid for trying to wait her out, because the longer he stays up the longer she will too--neither of them can relax like this. But he can't let his eyes leave her for too long, otherwise the fear snakes around his heart again.

There's the rustle of sheets and a sudden increase in heat. She's so close that he's having trouble breathing. She smells like Kido, the thick heat of the sick, and he feels like his lungs have begun to dry. He's sweating. She's too close, her breath is too hot against his already burning skin. But he doesn't push her away. He doesn't move. Even if being this close to her burns, it reassures him of her presence.

His hand on hers tightens. Don't let go. As long as they could touch each other, the other won't disappear. That's how it always worked...

(He won't think about the exception.)]

[concealingeyes]

[Her breath rattles against his neck, the places where bare skin touches sticking uncomfortably. The suffocating heat keeps her from moving now. Even if she wanted to breathe again - and she doesn't if he means feeling his heart still beating - it presses down on her. That heavy weight on her lungs, dragging her body with it so that even while laying here, the world tilts back and forth.

But in that daze, there is one constant. That steady feeling of Kano, the grip on her hand, how if she shifts her head slightly she can hear his pulse. It probably bothers him having her this close. But he won't push her away even if she burns him. That's the kind of person he is, always smiling and accepting everything, even if it hurts him.

Stupid Kano, stupid... He's so much trouble. Ever since they were kids, he always... held her hand. Kept her from being alone in the world of red.

Kido breathes out a long, ragged sound, but at the end Kano can hear something different and soft, mumbled out from whatever thought she's lost in.] Stupid Shuuya...

[duplicitoussight]

[It hurts to be so close to something he doesn't allow himself to grab. His throat aches. It feels dry, like a slice of fruit withered in the sun. But even as his suppressed coughs make his shoulders jerk and shudder, he lets her stay. He presses his face into her hair before he realizes he can't breathe that way and settles for resting his head against hers.

He can't think straight right now. All he can really focus is on holding her hand, on watching her to make sure she's fine and still solidly grounded in this world. The meanings of these gestures float beyond him in his feverish haze. It makes both of them feel safe. That's what's important.

But he recognizes the meaning of the name she mumbles, and it's almost enough to reach him. If he realized what they were doing, he would've made an excuse to recreate the distance between them. Thanks to the fever, however, he only acknowledges the name and the pitifully happy feeling it fills his heart with.]

That's right, that's right... I'm always an idiot around you, aren't I?

[He takes a shuddering breath of his own as he closes his eyes. There must be a stupid smile on his face right now. He's glad she can't see it.]

[concealingeyes]

[Always an idiot. Her idiot. Unable to keep her thoughts in any order, her focus stays on trying not to cough on him, trying to breathe even in this suffocating heat, not letting his fingers go even when she feels the sweat between them.

A memory. Sleeping like this long ago. She couldn't control her eyes at all. If she was sick, she'd vanish completely. She had been so certain. But he stopped that. Just like this, with that insufferable, bright smile and warm hand.

Maybe, this whole time, she'd felt like this. Like he would be there to hold her hand. Didn't she take that for granted? She must have...

Kido can only make a soft 'mm' sound against his throat in agreement. But her dry lips crack a smile. He's always an idiot around her but he's there. That's all she ever asked for.]

[duplicitoussight]

[Her answer vibrates pleasantly against his skin. What was that gesture his mother used to give him? Whenever he was scared (and when she remained his mother) he would run to her embrace. The Tateyamas had given it, too. Slowly, his free hand slides up her back, bunching her hair, and rests on her shoulder. This way, he can make sure she's close by where he can reach her.

In a distant, wavering part of his mind, he frets. Even if he can't kiss her or tell her how much his heart hurts, this is all right, isn't it? He can be allowed this much, right?]

[concealingeyes]

[A soft sigh warms his neck. Her muddled mind can't put a good thought or word to this. It's safe. He'll be there when she wakes up and she will wake up. Everything will be fine. That touch promises it.

Barely awake, Kido lifts her other hand to curl against his chest. It isn't much or as nice a gesture, at least she would think that. But instead it comes almost as pure instinct to keep him close.]

[duplicitoussight]

[Kano's begun to drift off as well, his consciousness barely bobbing above waves of drowsiness. With her body pressed against his, he can feel himself relaxing. Her fingers against his chest are warmer than his body. It's pleasant, despite the heat. Instinctively, his hand around her shoulder tightens.

Like this, they'll be okay.]