[closed] yeah yeah and I'm alright

[5055034455]

Date & Time: June 29 — July ∞
Location: Around Exsilium
Characters: Saul & TBA
Summary: A catch-all log for Saul's many business etc. meetings throughout the month, because otherwise there would be like a million logs up. Not even an exaggeration. An actual million.
Warnings: Drugs in Jesse's thread, violence in Coby's, sap in Effie's.

[Sometimes, the best way to get over something is to find a suitable distraction.

Since Saul's #1 distraction has always been work, he doesn't see why that can't be the case here as well — he may not technically be practicing law at the moment, but his skill set is undeniably useful. Extremely so. (As far as he's considered, anyway.) He doesn't need his own office or a secretary or a PI or a bodyguard to get plenty of shit done. He's Saul Goodman, for godssakes — what the hell good is he if he's not working?

His hands have been idle for too long, and look at where they've gotten him.

Devil's tools indeed.

So here he is, keeping busy. Training, doing business, drinking more coffee (and alcohol) than he probably should. Whatever works, right? Right.]

Comments

[5055034455]

Yeah. That was before the shit hit the fan. [He wrings his hands for a second, scowling absently at a fingernail.]

He's just a scared kid, Sonya. I told you, didn't I? He doesn't want help, so that's why he pushes people away. It's easier.

[legal_eagle]

[But she shakes her head, her lips thin.]

I've been a scared kid. Hasn't even been that long since I was one. Never would have done that. Not in a hundred years.

[5055034455]

You can't make that comparison. That's not fair.

[legal_eagle]

Why not?

[She lifts her eyebrows at him.]

[5055034455]

Because you have no idea —

[He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.]

Just leave him alone. Okay? Stay out of his way and he'll stay out of yours.

[legal_eagle]

No.

[She finally does look at him, right in the eyes.]

Explain it to me. He has no sense of obligation, but you do, and after what he's done I'm owed a pound of flesh but I'll take an explanation in its stead. Explain to me, precisely, what I have no idea about.

[5055034455]

[This really is like pulling teeth, isn't it? And if the patient is too stubborn — or scared — to open his mouth...

Something in Saul's expression falters. He tries to hold Sonya's gaze, but can't.]

You know how abusive relationships work, right?

[legal_eagle]

[A snort is confirmation enough.]

[5055034455]

Okay. That's the best way I can sum up Jesse's relationship with his business partner. I'm not a psychologist, but I told him just the other day that I'm pretty sure he's got some Stockholm syndrome going on — I'd bet all the money I have in this place that I'm not far off the mark with that guess.

[legal_eagle]

[She purses her lips.]

And are we suddenly in some parallel universe where people get a pass for being fucked up, instead of needing to fix their problems?

[5055034455]

It was fixed.

[Well. Sort of. Maybe not fixed, but it was at least better.]

And then the asshole showed up here.

[legal_eagle]

[She doesn't look at him, but she's listening very carefully to Saul's response to this question.]

So why not make him disappear?

[5055034455]

[Oh, that makes him laugh. God. If it were only that easy.]

It's too late.

[legal_eagle]

And why's that?

[5055034455]

There's no getting rid of this guy without taking a piece of Jesse with him.

[legal_eagle]

[She does frown at him at that. Matter-of-factly - ]

What, does he have some sort of life-sapping ability or something?

[5055034455]

He might as well.

[Saul has to pause and take a deep breath, mentally count to ten. Time to regroup.]

They think they need each other. That's what this boils down to.

[legal_eagle]

[Sarcastically:]

How romantic. So fucking what? I take it from your answer that you have no personal moral objection to killing this guy, right?

[5055034455]

If anything happens to him, Jesse'll turn on all of us. And what the fuck is the point, anyway? He'll just come back.

[Saul shrugs.]

There's a long line of people who'd pull the trigger on this guy. If there were a guarantee that he'd stay dead, I'd be in that line myself.

[legal_eagle]

So chain him up in a basement. Find a sturdy box and drill air holes. Keep Jesse blinded to it - he's not someone that someone like you can't turn around. Come on, you're brighter than this. There are solutions.

[5055034455]

[There's only one real solution, and that's in Jesse's hands.

And he's rethinking it.

So they're all shit out of luck.

Saul runs a hand through his hair, heaves another sigh, and shifts around so he can slump against the couch again. He might just lean over a little, maybe like he's about to... rest his head on her shoulder. Yes. That's what happens.]

I can't deal with this.

[legal_eagle]

[She's in a bad mood - any time Jesse Fucking Pinkman gets discussed she finds herself in a bad mood - but that...sort of startles her to the point where she forgets about her anger, just a little bit. It's - weird. He's weird. He's weird, and she doesn't know what he's thinking more often than not, and -

And that's weirdly nice.

Saul Fucking Goodman. She wishes she could just sign off from this motherfucker and his drama, just like she'd quit any other friend whose issues threatened her or her stability or her prospects, but for some fucking reason she just keeps at it.]

So don't.

[5055034455]

[And this is what happens to Saul when Walter Fucking White comes up.

He's tired. Every time he has to have this conversation, he loses a little more energy. For someone like him — someone who's used to running on maximum almost 24/7, someone who keeps on keeping on no matter what — saying what he just said and doing what he just did is admitting vulnerability he'd rather pretend isn't even there. He's too resilient for this shit.

But he'd agree; it's weirdly nice to let his guard down, even if this only lasts for a few minutes.

For now, though, he remains as is, staring ahead.]

I can't abandon him. [Beat.] I'm sorry you got dragged into this.

[legal_eagle]

[Not half as sorry as I am.]

I'm not saying abandon him. [She shrugs the shoulder he isn't weighing down with his head.]

I'm saying declare war.

[5055034455]

[He laughs a little. War? God knows he's already got an army, unasssembled though they may be, at his disposal.

It's a great mental image, all those young ladies beating the shit out of Walter.]

This place doesn't need another war.