namby-pamby fuwa fuwa shitnaro • 如月シンタロー (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
substitutable) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
exsiliumlogs2013-09-03 01:12 am
substitutable) wrote in exsiliumlogs2013-09-03 01:12 am
closed;
Date & Time: september 3;
Location: unit 202;
Characters: kido tsubomiconcealingeyes | kisaragi shintaro substitutable;
Summary: shintaro gives a report to leader that he asked out her sister. yeaaaah love lives;
Warnings: n/a;
[It took him forever to invite Ayano out and it's taken him the same amount of forever to go tell Kido about it. Taking the initiative like this, reaching out to people, actually being honest about the way he feels, and feeling much at all, is all new and unfamiliar and still very uncomfortable. But a promise was a promise. He told Kido he would try, and he did. He doesn't know what he can do for Ayano... but that first step was more than he'd ever taken.
He frowns to himself as he raises a hand to knock on the door of Unit 202, hoping it's just Kido here and not Kano or Kaede. It would be hard to get the former to leave him alone and he would just stutter if it was the latter because how do you even make an excuse for this to an eleven-year-old?
He knocks.]
Location: unit 202;
Characters: kido tsubomi
concealingeyes | kisaragi shintaro substitutable;Summary: shintaro gives a report to leader that he asked out her sister. yeaaaah love lives;
Warnings: n/a;
[It took him forever to invite Ayano out and it's taken him the same amount of forever to go tell Kido about it. Taking the initiative like this, reaching out to people, actually being honest about the way he feels, and feeling much at all, is all new and unfamiliar and still very uncomfortable. But a promise was a promise. He told Kido he would try, and he did. He doesn't know what he can do for Ayano... but that first step was more than he'd ever taken.
He frowns to himself as he raises a hand to knock on the door of Unit 202, hoping it's just Kido here and not Kano or Kaede. It would be hard to get the former to leave him alone and he would just stutter if it was the latter because how do you even make an excuse for this to an eleven-year-old?
He knocks.]
no subject
...She wanted us to smile. You're right. She knows how we feel. That we're scared... of the day she leaves. But if we live in fear of it, we'll just make her sad. What kind of people would we be to make her time here watching us be miserable?
[Still that question nags her. Shintaro himself said it. Why did she have to die? Kido doesn't say it but the strange silence between her words asks it for her. She didn't want them to be miserable, she had friends and family, why did it go wrong?
Kido bites her lip. And now she's here and... they have to make up for that time, the time they couldn't save her and make her smile. That mission means the most, even if it won't mean anything in the end.]
...Maybe... maybe this is our chance to give her some peace. [That morbid outlook gets even Kido choked up and she unconsciously tugs on her hood.] Look, I said it before. You weren't the only one who took those days for granted or missed something. This is all we can do now. If we can't make her smile this time and forget for a little way that these days are going to disappear, too, than what good are we?
[She glances at him, taking a slow breath.] After mom died, she said... we could all still smile and that would be enough. Her smile for you, the person she tried so hard to reach... you have a lot on your shoulders. You realise it now. It might not change the past but she better have a sincere smile everyday, got it?
no subject
I'm not good at making people smile. Hell, I spent half the time I knew her, just making this one person angry all the time. [He bites his lip, not saying any more. That girl had disappeared, too.] If she wants to cry or get angry, that's fine. I just... don't want to know that she's crying and not know why, again.
[He raises a hand to his mouth, touching his lips uncertainly. He can feel the familiar tightness in his chest, the lump in his throat, and he speaks quietly to muffle how hard it is to get the voice out.] If nothing's going to change, I at least don't want to make the same mistakes.
no subject
[She hesitates before just asking.] ...Have you asked her yet? About that day?
no subject
[Of course he hasn't. How could he? He was scared to know. But he was also scared of making her think about it. Ayano probably knew that they wanted to know. But if they were going to keep her smiling, how could they bring up something that was so painful to her that she took her own life?]
I don't think I'm ready for that. I'm not... ready, to carry that sort of weight, and I don't think she's ready to tell us, either. I know it's already been months, but... you know. It was something she kept from all of us.
no subject
...I haven't asked her either. I think... [Her face feels hot from shame.] ...Yeah, I'm scared of the answer. If she would answer in the first place. I wouldn't blame her for not telling us. Whatever it was, she couldn't tell us back then, so... she doesn't have a reason to now when it's painful for her.
But I'm scared of what must have hurt her so much to make her do that. [Kido glances up with a small, sad smile.] When she could handle taking in me, Seto and Kano when we couldn't control our eyes, you start to think a person like that is invincible. She even wore that scarf all the time to make us smile. She really was- she still is a hero to us.
no subject
Her birthday's in November, isn't it?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
But -- if you're fine with that, yeah, I'd like to.
no subject
no subject
... Mm. I guess it won't be too useful here. I don't know, I was going to remind her to get a coat before it got too cold here but that's kind of boring too, isn't it?
no subject
no subject
Sure I got dragged along to help someone find herself a dress once, but do you expect someone who wears around a red jersey jacket all the time to understand clothes?