nobody likes kate kane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gevurah) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
exsiliumlogs2013-11-21 11:24 pm
gevurah) wrote in exsiliumlogs2013-11-21 11:24 pm
and it goes with where you go
Date & Time: 11/22 / 6:30am
Location: cafeteria
Characters: collette & kate
Summary: tea and breakfast and maybe they'll pretend they have english accents or roleplay as break and gilbert.
Warnings: sadness??
[ Kate barely slept the hours before her breakfast date with Collette. Every couple of hours of rest broken by discomforting twists in her dreams and at one point waking up with a throbbing headache. She doesn't like to take pills, but she pops one so she can actually maintain her focus when seeing Collette.
She showers and slips into her usual black T-shirt and the nice red jeans she's managed to cling to her time so far in Exsilium and strolls into the cafeteria, keeping an eye out for Collette, her chest tight with apprehension. They've finally begun to speak again, but Kate's steered cautiously in their conversations, not out to instigate a fight or upset Collette in any way. There's been enough fighting between Transports for the week. She doesn't say much, just enough to let the other know she wants to try.
If Renee hadn't been sent back, maybe she wouldn't have realized some things needed fixing.
It's impossible to miss that shade of red in the middle of the cafeteria, but Kate waves anyway to signal Collette. ]
'Morning.
Location: cafeteria
Characters: collette & kate
Summary: tea and breakfast and maybe they'll pretend they have english accents or roleplay as break and gilbert.
Warnings: sadness??
[ Kate barely slept the hours before her breakfast date with Collette. Every couple of hours of rest broken by discomforting twists in her dreams and at one point waking up with a throbbing headache. She doesn't like to take pills, but she pops one so she can actually maintain her focus when seeing Collette.
She showers and slips into her usual black T-shirt and the nice red jeans she's managed to cling to her time so far in Exsilium and strolls into the cafeteria, keeping an eye out for Collette, her chest tight with apprehension. They've finally begun to speak again, but Kate's steered cautiously in their conversations, not out to instigate a fight or upset Collette in any way. There's been enough fighting between Transports for the week. She doesn't say much, just enough to let the other know she wants to try.
If Renee hadn't been sent back, maybe she wouldn't have realized some things needed fixing.
It's impossible to miss that shade of red in the middle of the cafeteria, but Kate waves anyway to signal Collette. ]
'Morning.
no subject
How long has it been?
( Did she start as young as Dick? )
no subject
But she does have an obligation. Collette was confident enough to tell the network she trusted Kate Kane when she didn't know her.
Like Roslyn, this isn't how she ever imagined or wanted it to be, but it is what it is. ]
Ever since I lost my mother and sister.
This [ her eyes fall to what Collette holds in her lap ] is the way I found to serve.
no subject
Has it helped?
( Her question is soft. She really wants to know, looking at her, tea forgotten entirely. She keeps her hand gently on the wig, fingers twitching in it. )
Have you been serving well?
no subject
[ In response to her second question. As for the first, there's no telling and honestly, it feels shameless to admit it's alleviated her pain temporarily.
She's found ways to channel her rage and her aching sorrows, but it hasn't helped to allow her to make peace with her mother's brutal murder and whatever monstrous, unspeakable things were done to Beth in those twenty years to leave her broken and yet dangerous. ]
But I couldn't do anything in the Transporter room when we finally got inside.
no subject
( She asks, looking up from her hand on the wig. The grappling gun shifts against her chest. Her other arm comes up to better support it. )
I mean, so you didn't know what to do then. Do you have any more of an idea of what needs to happen now?
( Leading doesn't mean always knowing... but faking it, refusing to give up, keeping the movement forward, she feels all of that's important. She's just not sure how to say it. )
no subject
[ It's firm, but without condescension. If anything, it's a heavy frustration aimed toward herself, the other Transports, and this damn situation they've been entrapped in. ]
And worse, we're now fighting with each other. Improvisation can only go so far.
[ Depending on the case, she could mix it up, or she had a plan A and plan B, but in Exsilium she's been winging it for months. Who has it helped? No one, she thinks. ]
A code of conduct is only as good if people honor it.
no subject
( She asks, looking down at Kate's uniform. )
What kind of war do you think we're fighting?
no subject
[ She sighs, running a hand through her hair. ]
We're not an army. We're only strangers right now unwilling to work together or agree on anything.
Collette, your brother's a soldier; you know his regiment would hardly meet their objectives if they spent most of the time fighting with each other.
no subject
( She looks up at Kate, offering a small smile, then a more drawn expression. )
People can't even agree it's worth saving lives here. People can't even stop thinking the Initiative is in control. I know one of those two things is true where the other's false. What's happened here, what happened to Elmer's world... I don't want those things happening to my home. I don't want them happening to anyone's, and especially not places lucky enough to have people like you.
( She doesn't take her eyes off Kate the entire time. Vigilantes and criminals are often one and the same where she's from - there is no superhero. )
no subject
It's so much easier to see Collette and the others as someone she needs to protect. ]
I don't want them to either.
[ Another sigh follows. ]
We're a mess.
no subject
( She wants to know.
Before all she ever does is work with small groups, she wants to know. )
no subject
[ It's the truth, along with some sort of admission of guilt. ]
We're too disorganized and as long as the Transporter stays online and brings in more disoriented civilians, the harder it'll become.
[ What happens when they've amassed nearly a thousand confused people? ]
no subject
no subject
[ In desperate times when it needed a bug to be fixed. ]
How many more children and civilians can we pull into this, Collette?
no subject
She sits up straighter, hands on the parts of what makes Kate the sort of thing you should fear in the night, if you're the sort of person others should wish to avoid. )
How many more children and civilians have already died because of what no one here has been able to do? How many worlds destroyed? Three hundred, four hundred lives that get interrupted versus the ones that all get to end 'cause some bigger guy on the playground decided he wanted all their stuff?
We don't have a choice in being here. I don't like the Initiative, and I don't like anything going on here. I'm not going to sit back and wonder about the ethics on this side of things when we're already scrambling so hard after what the United Earth has been doing for the last year. We should be keeping those kinds of people safe, and not just -- thinking we can stop that altogether. It's not the biggest problem! It sucks, it's really bad, but it's not the biggest one here!
no subject
I was twelve when my life was interrupted.
[ Sometimes, she can stand tall and proud, fearless in the face of danger. She has to be.
But then she remembers the fear that gripped her when those masked men came for her, her mother, her sister, and how badly put together she is sometimes as a result. Broken pieces glued together in spite of fragments that no longer fit each other.
Sometimes in heart, she fears more will end up like her. It's selfish and self-projecting, but it's a real fear that might eat her alive. ]
What do you think is?
no subject
( Se doesn't know how to say such complicated things, gesturing with her hands as she talks. It feels like saying, yes, it's fine to let places leave. End. Disappear.
It's not. It really isn't. That could be her world, everything she and her friends gave up for nothing, all because of something out of the blue like this?
No thanks. No thanks, none at all! )
no subject
She hasn't forgotten. Before Elmer's world was decimated, the threat had seemed distant, almost unreal, only to be proven very real when she stepped into a world where charred flesh and ash stunk to high hell. She's seen so much in her few years doing this, but that scene had been tough to swallow. ]
I promised Elmer we would save his world.
[ A wistful sigh escapes her. ]
If I knew how to unite us, I would.
no subject
no subject
[ She can't contain all her frustration, so there's traces of it in her response. ]
Communication is a problem. I don't trust the Goodman's group to help with that anymore.
[ Not after the way he acted during the mutiny. ]
no subject
minus "the" unless suddenly saul's got a musical group!! THE GOODMEN.
[ Given they've only spoken once, she's not too sure what name she prefers to go by. ]
maybe he does tho
( Collette doesn't know. )
But yeah,
no subject
[ Unfortunately, she can be quite judgmental. ]
I was brigade executive officer back in the academy. [ She was going to graduate First Captain. ] You know about the BTD, right? Brigade Tactical Department; they're responsible for daily command and discipline of the Corps of Cadets.
[ She was so organized and meticulous back home. It's hard to stop thinking like that breed of soldier. ]
There's only a handful of people I know I can work with so far.
no subject
( She says quickly, fingers tapping against the metal under her hands. )
You have a few. That's a start! You don't need everyone like that, you just need enough space and breathing room that maybe others will listen.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)