[ Open ] A Home for the Holidays

[maddeninghatter]

Date & Time: December 10th - 21st
Location: The Museum of Old and New(ish) Art
Characters: Xerxes Break and you. Information about and a map to the castle has been left in the Transporter Facility, so anyone interested in renovating a warm and secure (if weird) place to stay is welcome.
Summary: An eccentric billionaire’s 27th century medieval-replica castle/art museum/hotel lies abandoned and half-buried in the snow. It’s going to take a lot of work to renovate, but hey it’s more kid-friendly than a brothel. Right? Right?
Warnings: None.

The 1980's ski-wear themed snow suits Break brought back from this mission proved to be a hit with the local population (so stylish!), as were Mister Cecil's ugly Christmas sweaters, so they have been able to trade for goods and some technical services, to help make this place more livable. Supplies from the DITR have also been a great help. However, a lot of work needs to be done: cleaning and vermin-smiting and clearing away snow. Come and help, or simply explore.

(ooc: feel free to start threads willy-nilly, action-spam or prose, name your time and place, threadjack and mingle.)


(1) Museum:

The stairway forces you straight down, past four floors, into the very dungeons of the castle. There are no windows; it was artificially lit, although the electricity isn't on at present. However, the old geothermal power generation system in the structure is simple and robust, so only a small amount of tweaking will be required to get it operational once more. In the meantime, the DITR has kindly supplied you with bright uber-LED flashlights and batteries with advanced energy storage, meaning they should stay lit for weeks. Should.

As soon as you emerge in the dungeons, you’ll find yourself lost in a maze of gallery after gallery. High sandstone walls rise up, towering over everything. What was once a set of opulent velvet curtains lining the art spaces hang in rags, having long since been devoured by rats.

Many of the paintings are destroyed, but most are intact, as are the sculptures and installations, preserved in the deep freeze. The subject matter is bizarre and disturbing. Take this human centipede for instance. And what on earth does this machine do? What’s that smell….

However, some of the “artworks” are playful and interactive. Try a game of ping pong on an accordion-shaped table; or jump on a trampoline in a cage with bells underneath; or find the white library, full of blank books (don’t deface the art!).

Try not to get lost.


(2) Castle/Hotel:

The upper levels of the castle were hotel rooms, long ago. Alas, all of the sheets and bedding were made into nests by rats. Here too, the lush velvet curtains hang in rags, and the wool carpets over the stone floors have lost their battle to the moths.

Yet most of the furniture remains intact, as well as the elaborate chandeliers. Compact heaters will keep the spaces at a near-comfortable temperature, and sleeping bags will do for now.

Let’s get cleaning!


(3) R&R

All that hard work has finally paid off. The geothermal power system is now providing electricity and abundant steam heat, and multiple hotel rooms are in habitable shape. Most importantly, the kitchen is functional. it's time to relax with a cup of hot spiced wine (or chocolate) and pastry. Some mischievous person has hung mistletoe over various random entranceways, so look sharp!


(4) Playing in the snow

The weak December sun makes an appearance, illuminating the ice crystals in the frigid air, creating a sun dog. The snow sparkles like white diamonds. It’s still freezing, but how can you stay inside on a day like this? Anyway, the snow needs shoveling, but perhaps there’s time to make a snowman (or snow angels).


(5) Penguins:

In addition to vermin of the four-legged, tailed and whiskered variety, this castle is home to a flock of penguins. These might be the principal reason the castle has lain abandoned all these years. They can be found anywhere in or around the structure. Approach with caution. Or better yet —



— run away.

Comments

[retraced]

Is that so...

[Well, if it's healthy.]

Can you show me how you made it?

[senseandcecilbility]

But certainly.

[He opens a compartment in the fridge, which is well supplied with mystery meat.]

[retraced]

[He finishes the rest of his sandwich and sets the plate down with the rest of the dishes that will need to be washed soon before joining Kevin at the refrigerator. Of course he doesn't need instruction on how to make a sandwich, he's only curious as to what had gone into it. And that...meat...is peculiar looking.]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Mister Gilbert should not question the meat. That is a path that can only lead to tears. The only thing that matters is that it tastes good, and onions represent the difference between hell and salvation. Kevin delicately closes the fridge.]

I was considering pies...

[It is an important rule of their partnership that they should always attempt pies. After all, it will take many years to overcome the trauma caused by the zombie incident.]

[retraced]

[The fact that Kevin closes the fridge without an explanation tells him that he probably shouldn't question it, no matter how badly he wants to.]

Pies? [His shoulders slump a little.] Somehow, it feels like a bad omen, now...

[senseandcecilbility]

[Gil is talking to a stubborn and obsessive Scorpio, which means the pie ingredients are out on the counter before he is even finished.]

Oh no, Mister Gilbert. Our pies should not be held hostages to past experiences. It is our moral duty to reclaim their freedom!

[retraced]

[He swallows nervously, drops his voice. His concerns sound stupid even to himself, but he trusts that Kevin, at least, won't judge him for having them.]

Y-you're right...there's no reason to think that anything like that would go wrong again...

[senseandcecilbility]

[Kevin would never judge poor Mister Gilbert, and he is not surprised to find himself a little anxious as well, the memory of their pie trauma still too vivid and fresh for comfort.

Cementing his own resolve, he squeezes his companion's shoulder in a gentle and reassuring manner.]

We must face our culinary fears no matter what, wouldn't you agree?

[Besides, the kitchen is fully functional and there are no zombies in this land. What could possibly go wrong?]

[retraced]

[He's not quite as optimistic, but it's easy to let Kevin be the positive thinker for both of them. He nods and then steps to the side to help prepare everything. It's pie time.]

What should we make this time?

[senseandcecilbility]

[He was about to suggest mysterious meat pie, but something about Mister Gilbert's pitiful expression stops him. The poor man needs to eat something that would never try to eat him back.]

I believe we still have some smoked haddock...

[retraced]

Hm. [Is that really what it is, or is it more mystery meat... Well in any case, let's ruin both sweet and savory for these two poor gents.]

With potatoes?

[senseandcecilbility]

Oh, what an excellent idea!

[He opens the next cupboard to get the potatoes. Coincidentally, this act alone proves the legitimacy of their haddock. It seems that the fishy smell has just attracted a vast amount of super intelligent penguins.

The leader of the group jumps out of the cupboard and lands right on Kevin's face.]

1/2

[retraced]

[On the plus side, the mystery of the mystery meat is that there's no mystery at all. On the more obvious, more important negative side, however - ]

2/2

[retraced]

N-NOT AGAIN-!

[Gilbert fails to see the others nestled down in the cupboard, so when he steps forward to fling his arm forward and knock the penguin to the ground, they all instantly let out a collective war honk and leap from the cupboard as well, one by one attempting to pile onto the two poor servants and bat them to the ground with their angry flippers.]

Re: 2/2

[senseandcecilbility]

[It is Kevin's first encounter with the unholy creatures and - honestly - his first impulse is to smite the hell out of them.

He is about to raise his hand to summon a fiery tornado of divine retribution when he realizes that this is not the sort of thing he should do in front of Mister Gilbert. Not to mention that holy fire would probably ruin their precious kitchen.

That. That is a problem.

As soon as Mister Gilbert knocks the penguin off his face, Kevin grabs a broomstick and pivots it in the air, showing the adroitness one would associate with extremely dangerous fighters or competitive baton twirlers. It also knocks an entire row of penguins off the counter.]

Out of the kitchen! We must defend the oven at any cost!

[retraced]

[While Kevin is doing the smart thing and gaining a weapon, Gilbert is shrieking and leaping up onto the now-empty counter to avoid their flailing flippers. There's a knife on the table still, but that seems like overkill. Maybe.

At any rate, they'd end up with blood in the kitchen, and that's just unsanitary.]

R-right!

[A short dash across the counter and he's jumping as far as he can get towards the door. The angry mob advances.]

[senseandcecilbility]

[How have their lives come to this? Why must God always punish their pie baking with divine wrath? Is Mister Gilbert practicing sodomy too?

Kevin grabs the haddock on his way out, in the hope that the unnatural creatures will prefer it to human flesh. There is some fierce penguin kicking and broom smashing before he reaches the door. Clearly, archangels do not know the meaning of overkill.]

Run away!

[He dashes towards the opposite direction from Gilbert, waving the haddock at the deadly predators. He hopes the penguins will chase him rather than the human. Haddock is certainly tasty and not even Mister Gilbert is that unlucky, right?]

[retraced]

[Gilbert is still running for his life, thinking that Kevin is right behind him, when it occurs to him that Kevin has sacrificed his life for his own. The penguins do exactly as the young man had hoped and follow the scent of fresh fish. Plus they all have a score to settle for smacking the lot of them with a broom.

But Gilbert isn't having any of this! He's not going to let his friend go into this suicide mission without any backup! The hallways up here are winding and confusing, but he's pretty sure he knows a shortcut. So he takes off running the other direction, grabs the wall and flings himself down another hallway. Hang in there Kevin, help is on the way!]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Kevin has dashed towards the dying room. His original plan was to find privacy to use his powers. It is really unfortunate that Mister Gilbert is such a good person.

He would have certainly gotten his face smitten off if Kevin had not spotted him a few seconds in advance.

And so Mister Gilbert is met with the strange tableau of Mister Cecil standing on the dinning table (shoeless, naturally), index finger pointing at the ceiling in a rather commanding manner while dozens of angry penguins besiege him from beneath. The honking sounds are deafening, but Kevin manages to speak loud enough to be heard:]

W-What are you doing?!

1/2

[retraced]

[Is he...getting ready to lead them in a musical round of some kind...]

2/2

[retraced]

I'm -

[Coming to help you, is what he's trying to say, but just then the penguins spot much easier prey and begin to converge on Gilbert instead, waddling and honking at inavian speed. He yelps and turns tail to run again, leading them down the halls this time, trying to decide on which room they should trap the lot of them in. A room they don't need...]

[senseandcecilbility]

[All he wanted was to set the penguins on fire. But now Mister Gilbert is in trouble again, and he must put his shoes on, jump off the table and...

Great minds think alike. A room they don't need...Well, Break's suite is large enough! B-but no, he can't stand the idea of penguins in that room ever again. Well, in that case:]

The chapel! Take them to the chapel!

[He is going to hell for this, isn't he?]

[retraced]

[The chapel! Yes, he remembers where that is. Sort of...

Luckily there's a cross above the door to signify which room it is that he's looking for, or else he would have run right past it. Throwing open the large doors with both arms, he rushes inside and leaps onto the first row of pews, keeping himself at least far enough apart from the penguins to be able to kick them in the heads in necessary to fend them off. They faithfully (no pun intended) follow as Gilbert makes his way towards the pulpit.]

This is ridiculous-!

[senseandcecilbility]

[Kevin comes running after them with his mighty broomstick.]

Watch your language in church, sir!

[And after a small pause.]

Would you mind jumping out of the window?

[The stained glass behind the pulpit shows a particularly creepy Jesus. Kevin is quite positive God won't mind the damage.]

[retraced]

Sorry!

[The apology throws his balance off a little bit as he turns to Kevin as he's leaping over the next pew in order to call it out to him. He might apologize to Kevin's God as well, if he knew anything about him. But as soon as he's back upright, he looks towards the stained glass window, eyes narrowing with the realization that - ]

Does it open from the inside...?